Sunday, December 30, 2012

New Year's Eve Eve

Hi everybody! I feel like I haven't blogged in forever, like I abandoned all my blogger friends, but sometimes the 'real life' just takes over. As it has over the last few weeks. I had prepared some blog posts to post while I am in Germany, and I have been trying to check on my blog every once in a while. Surprise surprise! I wasn't forgotten. Feels so nice.
DH arrived safe and sound here in Germany, and we have been having (mostly) a great time. We didn't disconnect like we usually do while we were apart. The sex challenge really was a great idea. It really helped us focus on us before I left. I really can only recommend it!
Once DH got here, I think he was a bit overwhelmed with all these women in my family, most of them without a husband, and it took him a bit to figure out that I am not one of them, I enjoy him as a strong leader, somebody I can rely on. Although, I have to admit, my exercising went out the window. I went running three times, but it is so different here, and not just outside, but the whole dynamic and schedule. So I asked DH what he thought and we agreed that we are on vacation. And honestly I am looking forward to starting my routine again once I am home.

I have really been enjoying having family around me. I never have family around, unless of course one person visits, but not like this. I love being able to see my sisters.  One of my sisters has been coming over here to stay too so she can hang out with me as much as possible. Nothing like family.
New Years Eve in Germany is BIG. I mean BIG! We don't have a 4th of July to blow up fireworks and therefore it all happens tomorrow night. We have a big night planned with family, and I am very exciting for that, even though it brings leaving that much closer. I am excited to go home again though. Sleep in our bed. This one squeaks really loudly with every move. It sags. Sex in it makes you think  you are about to fall through the floor. But this has been the first time I have cum while in Germany. Usually I am all hesitant about having sex, and enjoying it, I mean this is my mother's home. But because of ttwd, I have realized that people have sex. As long as we are discreet, why not?

I want to wish you all a wonderful 'slide into the new year' as we say in German. I am looking forward to coming back home, to a new Year. One in which DH and I grow even closer, one in which we will pay off even more debt. I am excited for this New Year!

Happy New Year everybody!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

To treasure what I have!



I found this on Facebook a while back, and thought I would share....You have been warned.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband…."

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Frohe Weihnachten!

As you all know, I am in Germany right now, and figured I would just celebrate as we do here. Therefore, Christmas is on Christmas Eve, on Christmas Day, and on the second Christmas Day as well. 
We celebrate Christmas on the evening of the 24th. Usually we have a very special dinner with family, then send the children in a different room while we get the presents out, and then we gather in the family room and exchange gifts. 
I love doing gifts with my family, usually this is a slow process because we all want to see who gave what to whom. I like that. I like the slowness of it all. Makes you really appreciated every moment.

For my family, this is mostly it. We don't have extended family, and don't celebrate more, but other families usually go see their relatives over the next few days. 
The 25th and the 26th are a holiday, shops close early on the 24th, and nothing is open on the 25th and 26th, making this a terrible thing when it falls just wrong on the weekdays. Sundays are still closed days in Germany as well, therefore if Christmas eve falls on a Sunday, Monday and Tuesday are closed as well.

Anyway. I hope you all have a fantastic day. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays! Or simply just relax and enjoy the craziness! 

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


I have noticed a few things while studying my blog stats. No particular order...

  • Bloggers stats are not very accurate or informative. I recently signed up for StatCounter, which is free, and they offer a huge amount of info about visitors, but also about almost everything else. Very fascinating. For example, it has a map of where visitors are located, how long visitors stay, how to entered, and how they exited your blog. 
  • Did you know that you can look for your blog by typing in your URL and then colon links? For my blog it looks like this:      This will show you a bunch of sites that have you on their blogroll. 
  • Did you know you can go on Google Trends and research keywords, titles, and stuff like that to optimize your keywords? I didn't know that, not sure I will use this, but still good to know in my opinion.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Gratitude from far away!

A while back, Slightly Naughty Princess had a post that really resonated with me, and I commented saying I would write this letter to DH. This seems like a good time to do it!

"Kind words and appreciation are foundations for a good, healthy relationship, and everyone likes a compliment.  But sometimes it's hard to know what to say."

"If you struggle to put words to your feelings........try these fill-in-the-blank prompts."

*Thank you so much for making me laugh every single day. You brighten up my day, help me see the joy in little moments, and you make me feel such gratitude for my life and the love that we have. I feel so fortunate to have a family with you. To be able to raise children together. I appreciate that every single time I look at our children, and the only regret I feel is that people like my mother never got to experience this.

*I love it when you notice the little things. I love it when you follow me around because you just can't help it.

*The thing I admire most about you is how you have worked on yourself to not let the depression weigh you down anymore. I admire your tenaciousness when it comes to work, making sure you did it right, and the way you always try and stick up for those who can't quite keep up with you.

*It really makes me happy when you are happy.

*That really impressed me when you started doing bedtime mostly by yourself. I know this may sound cheesy or even weird, but at the end of the day, those last five minutes sometimes stretch into infinity for me, and when you take over like you do, and then don't even want credit for it after....that really impresses me every single time because you have had a long day too!

*I know you love me when you smile that smile that is just for me at me. Nobody has ever seen that smile except for me.

*I wish I were as good at working through tough situations  as you are, at believing in yourself.

*You look smokin' hot in  your work clothes. With the tie, the button down shirt, tucked into those pants,  your leather belt.

DH always says this to me: 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Giveaway Winners and He-said-She-said

I don't really have the time to write a blog today, but not sure I will have anymore time over the next 2 days, so you guys get some bulletins with random stuff. To make it more interesting, this is going to be a 'he said, she said' kind of post!

First off though, the winner of the German chocolate/candy giveaway are:

Nunuv Yobusiness, Susie, and Annie! Please contact me and we will figure out the details!

She said:

  • I have two huge suitcases full of stuff that is not my own already packed. There is not one item in there that is mine or my children's....
  • I have yet to actually start packing
  • Did you know that when you travel without the father of your children you need some kind of notarized letter with his signature that tells the custom people that I am not stealing my own children?
  • Our challenge is going pretty well: We had a day or two without sex, mostly due to real life catching us, making crazy parents out of us, making us run from ballet rehearsals to preschool Christmas concerts all within a very short time period.
  • Challenging your spouse to more sex is a fun way to reconnect I have discovered. It has put sex more in the middle of everything we do, and DH and I have both enjoyed raising up to meet this challenge.
  • Reaching six orgasms within 'one session' is not normal for me. But I like it!
  • I am going to go running in just a few minutes to meet my GOOB for the week, again. I really do like running, although I am a bit intimidated doing it in Germany. I have noticed that people in my life react differently to me working out more: Either the person is jealous and doesn't say much about it, or they are happy for me  and very encouraging. But isn't it kind of weird that I would have anyone in my life who wouldn't be encouraging? Like my friend who was here a while ago, she got really closed lipped every time I went to go running, and I really think it is because she was jealous that she is not working out.
He said:

  • OMG, Julia is leaving a long time from now in a week not tomorrow TOMORROW.  I'm working from home so I can drive her and the girls to the airport, and then I'm on my own.
  • Last night, I gave Julia a very thorough spanking with my hand and the leather paddle.
  • Our challenge is going pretty well.  And I'm proud that we put our children ahead of the challenge.  And, I'm not as proud that I took a long shower and then fell asleep instead of having my way with Julia as I should have one night.
  • I've given Julia a schedule for phone calls while she's in Germany, to make sure we stay in contact, and connected.
  • I can't help Julia pack.  She packs for everyone in the family because she is an organizational genius.  It takes her about 5 minutes to pack what would take me a day.  
  • Julia's getting ready to go running.  She's stretching right now, she's got her workout clothes on, and she's trying to figure out what her course will be.  She looks so beautiful. 
  • I can't wait to see Julia and our girls in Germany.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Cookie Recipe Exchange - Walnut Chocolate Chip

My Favorite Chocolate Chip Cookies!

1/2 cup (100 grams) granulated sugar
1/2 cup (120 grams) firmly packed light brown sugar
8 tablespoons (1 stick) (115 grams) unsalted butter, cold, cut into 1/2-inch (1cm) pieces
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/4 cups (175 grams) all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt or 1/2 teaspoon flaky sea salt (Deb option)
1 1/2 cups (200 grams) semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup (130 grams) walnuts or pecans, toasted and chopped
Adjust the oven rack to the top third of the oven and preheat to 350F (170C?). Line three baking sheets with parchment paper.
Beat the sugars and butters together until smooth. Mix in the egg, vanilla, and baking soda.
Stir together the flour and salt, then mix them into the batter. Mix in the chocolate chips and nuts.
Scoop the cookie dough into 2-tablespoon (5cm) balls and place 8 balls, spaced 4 inches (10cm) apart, on each of the baking sheets.
Bake for 16 minutes, or until pale golden brown. Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack.
Store at room temperature in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

I found this recipe at:  

Just as a disclaimer, this is not my recipe, I just love it and I am sharing the cookie joy!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I need ideas plus a giveaway!

Thank you so much for everybody's very kind words of wisdom for my last post. It is very much appreciated by both of us, and I am happy to report we are already changing our sexual dynamic a little. Details to follow at some point in time.....

But for now, I am starting to pack, and I am wondering what to bring. I have gifts for everybody, but I also like to bring the odd thing here and there. Like M&Ms in different flavors, like mint or coconut. So I would like your help please!
Please post some ideas for what you can think of.

If you are in North America: Something you think is a must to bring
Anywhere outside of North America: What do you know that you would love to have again?

So! Think about something, leave a comment, or leave the blog, think about it, and then come back again! Pretty please!

DH told me to make this a contest! Being the good girl that I am, I am following his wishes: The winners (Three to be exact) will be selected by a randomizer, every comment left will be counted, and the winner will get a bar of German Chocolate upon my return to the USA.

 I will  bring back different flavors, such as White chocolate, Dark, Milk, Super Dark, with Crisp...You get the idea!

Monday, December 3, 2012


Very graphic post advisory

Kitty for Mr. Woods wrote this post. Her blog being on my blogroll, DH saw it and clicked on it. He loves when I suck his cock, but I don't think he knows (or believe) quite how much I like it. This must be yet another left-over from his lovely ex-wife.
When we met more than ten years ago, I had never given a blow job. I have had two boyfriends, had sex with them (not good sex. At all. But at 16, I mean....), but was always intimidated by The Penis. Boyfriends never insisted, and therefore, I never did it. Then at 17, no boyfriend, a person in my life touched me inappropriately, very, and I was too shocked to do anything. I withdrew from everybody and just waited for my time to get out of Germany.
This person also had porn lying around, and kept trying to tell me that a blow job for a guy is the greatest. Needless to say, this really grossed me out.

DH enters the picture. Such a funny, gentle, damaged guy. He introduced me to giving blow jobs the way he likes them. Ten years later however, I know he never actually lets me do what he would like to have done. Does that makes sense?
Back to Kitty's post. He read it. He told me about it. I nod cause I had already read it.
"Do you feel that way about my cock?"
Blushing. "Well yeah, but I am not that good at describing it. Plus, I think she wrote that for the CWS challenge, and I am not part of that."
"Why not?"
Good question. In my mind I am thinking, mostly because I don't know if I am good enough for that yet, and honestly I hardly ever feel like a sub. I go with being honest.
"What do you mean you don't feel like a sub?"
DH had been working on being more vocal, letting it out, not thinking, enjoying, but most of the time, he just gets quiet, and then pulls away so he can fuck me. Lucky me, but I love to just give him pleasure too. Sometimes, its supposed to be just for him.
I told him most of this, then pointed him to Spanky's blog, and left the room to entertain the children so he would have some alone time to look, read, explore.

A few hours later, the stars aligned just right for us, the kids went to bed, and fell asleep, and my step son left to cook dinner for his new girl friend. Took a shower, put on some white panties, waited by the bed.

"You haven't really been a good girl lately, but I wouldn't say you were a bad girl either. Lean over the bed." And he started spanking me. He only used his hand, holding on to me with his other hand.
"You know I don't like it when you spank me" he said. Oops, I needed some attention and smacked his ass. I apologized and admitted I was trying to get his attention. Apparently that isn't a spanking offense anymore though, because he stopped, grabbed the new butt plug, and started to get me ready. He grabbed the lube, moved me around on the bed a little, and started to insert his finger, shortly after, he inserted the new plug.
"Get on all fours on the bed", which I did, "Mh, what a view. Stay like that, I will be back." And he left. I was alone, feeling the plug fill me deliciously. I felt myself getting more wet. I kept rolling my hips, getting more sensitive to everything by the second.

"Good girl, now come over my lap."
 He took me over his lap, and spanked me really hard, just with his hand, over and over, in the same spot.

"Okay, get off, and roll on your back. I want to try this new position I saw on that blog." The diaper position. I did, and he started spanking me again. Very intimate position. Being exposed. I like this position, although don't care for the name at all. DH kept getting distracted by the view though, panties long taken off, never to be seen again (I can't find them).

"Suck my cock" he said as he moved closer to my face. I did. Happily. I love how soft the skin on his cock is. Such soft skin over such a massive and hard cock. The head slipped into my mouth, I enveloped him, taking as much as I could. I pulled back, and he grabbed me by the hair and held me in place. As if I was done, which I was not. He held onto my hair, guiding me to take more, instructing me to take a big breath, let it out. "Such a good cock sucker", I moan, enjoying giving him pleasure. I let go of his cock, and start to lick his balls, taking them in my mouth, licking my way back to his cock, and letting him enter my mouth all the way. "You are a good girl. You love sucking my cock, don't you", unintelligible sound coming from me, I am greedily trying to get more into my mouth and throat without gagging. I gag, take a big breath and do it again. He pulls away, sliding his head and out of my mouth. "Leave it open, let me fuck your face", and I do.
And then he pulls away. I think he pulls away because he wants to make sure I get to come too. He pulls away because he doesn't think I would like him to cum on my face or in my mouth, and I think he pulls away because he realizes that I can't possible be doing what all those girls in porn always do. I am his wife after all. But I want to be his everything. I want him to be able to let go, take me however he wants to. I am his for the taking.

He did fuck me silly after that. And it was perfect, I am not complaining. But sometimes I would love to just give him pleasure, show him how much I love to suck his cock. Maybe after reading this, he will understand a bit better. I am not his exwife.
His cock is so beautiful, of course I want it in my mouth, in my pussy, slapping my breast, or entering my ass. I am all his.

Saturday, December 1, 2012


I formally accept Julia's challenge to have sex once a day! And, I'll make sure that at least one of us cums.  However, a little back story might be helpful to understand why that last condition applies.

Julia is German.  When we started our relationship, I promised her that I would get her back to Germany whenever possible, and that her friends and family were always welcome in our house.  Our favorite way of handling these trips is for her to go over with our girls a week or two ahead of me, and then I arrive to symbolically 'claim' my family and we all come home together on the same flight.  We do this because I can't afford to take 3 weeks off from work, but we want the girls to spend as much time in Germany speaking the language and enjoying our Deutsche Familie as possible.

Here's the rub: I have totally disconnected from her each and every time she's gone to Germany.

After a year of ttwd, I think I understand why that's happened.  I have connection issues in general, due (I believe) to my adoption as a baby.  When Julia has left for das Vaterland I've withdrawn, unconciously believing I would never see her again, even though I had a plane ticket to follow her just 2 weeks later.  I lacked the confidence to believe that our relationship is permenant.

Until now.

Our trust has deepened over the last year.  It's not always apparent how - we both find out in big and small ways.  Last night after we had finished making love fucking like crazy, I noticed how I was holding and touching her: I'm much more possessive and dominant when I touch her, but at the same time, much more considerate and gentle than I was before.  Julia used to describe me as 'polite,' but now I hope that she would say I'm much more genuine in how I touch her body.

I'm not sure how many times Julia came last night, but I was the big winner this morning.  I will keep posting status updates until the day she departs.

GOOP Update: she hasn't finished her week yet, so she will go running tomorrow!  Or it's the paddle for her.  No pressure.  ;)

Thursday, November 29, 2012

My challenge to DH!

Not DH, and he wore much less clothing....
I think I have mentioned before that DH used to have a blog. I am not going into much more detail on the blog, because he wasn't trying to conceal his identity and our friends read his blog.
Well one winter, I was reading his newest blog post, and he stated that I had made a bet with him, and if he lost, he would have to run outside naked and make a snow angel. I never made a bet like that, in fact, it was the first time I had heard anything about it. Basically, DH loves being dramatic, funny, and will do anything for a laugh. Including running out in the freezing snow, lying down, and making a fricking snow angel. Crazy Man!

I am leaving for Germany on the 10th, and with our issues of not having time for sex, I really wanted this time we have left, under two weeks now, to be filled with sex! Lots of sex! Horny me, I know.
Yesterday after writing my post, DH tried out the new butt plug on me. He gave me a spanking first, but I could tell he was excited about the plug, and rushed toward the plug. Which was lovely. Really awesome. Only, DH was on cold medicine, and having a hard time focusing...he kept wandering off, it was almost comical, and ended up making me feel like I took advantage of my poor husband.
Cuddling in bed later, he started touching me. I knew he wasn't in the mood for sex, but kept touching me, spread my legs, and fingered me until I came. Also lovely. I feel a bit more toward being caught up on sex. Maybe. Well, not quite. I know, I am greedy. Oh well!

I love her expression
So, this morning, I had a flash of brilliance going through my head (Surprise, surprise!), and I told him, I am challenging him to having sex once a day until I leave! He wasted no time, since we were still in bed, and I am not allowed to wear panties in bed, he pinched my nipples, grabbed my hair, and started fucking me.

After, he asked what the rules are. Actually, I think he said stipulations, but I don't know that word. Anyway: Once a day, at least one of us has to finish! There, not too much to ask, right? Nothing too fancy, no new room every time, or whatever, just one of us has to finish.

Workout Update: Going running right now. :) While listening to this:

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Where did the month go?

I haven't really known what to blog about after my friend left. I am still trying to figure out how her visit was: She came here on pretty short notice because she is switching jobs and wanted to relax before doing so, which for her, is here, with us. I know that. I also know what she loves to do when she is here. Shopping. A lot of it. And as it turned out, DH's company had given his entire department the entire week of Thanksgiving off and he was home the whole week. Which was great, only my friend wanted to go shopping, resulting in us being gone a lot during the last week. Toward the end, DH started to get mad about the situation, I could tell, but instead of withdrawing, he started to assert himself, make it known how he felt about it, and in the end giving us 'curfews'.
I was fine with that, and so was my friend.
I think ttwd has finally allowed us to find a solution to a problem that has popped back up every time I had a visitor from Germany: he withdrew. But not this time.

I just read Christina's post on raising children in a Domestic Discipline household, and agreed with everything she said. Since starting this ttwd journey, I have stepped away from interfering when he dealt with the children about situations, I let him handle it. He can handle it. He doesn't get overwhelmed by his own children anymore, and it is making him feel confident, wanting to be more present in the daily family life that he used to withdraw from.
DH is the head of our household, and he has really asserted himself over the last year. And I have learned to let his decision be his decision. I do have a say, and there have been many times I have told him my opinion on things and he changed his mind based on what I said, but not in the way it used to be. No nastiness, sarcasm, bad humor.

I feel like this is going great, and at the same time, the spanking part of it, maintenance, connection, reconnection, or fun ones, is not really happening. Once again, live is getting in the way. Sick, that time of the month, DH's children living in our house (teenagers with friends who stay the walking into the kitchen at midnight and there are a bunch of people in there). It can be so frustrating having to deal with stuff like that. Like work. I mean who would have ever thought that when you get married you would be too fucking busy to have sex? Or that you wouldn't be able to have the kind of sex in your own house whenever you wanted? For some reason, not something I ever considered when I dreamed about my future!
So, as you can see, I am here. My visit with my friend was great, though tiring, and expensive. But I am mostly done with Christmas shopping. DH inserted his authority in something he never felt comfortable in before.

Workout Challenge: I went running on Tuesday, going tomorrow morning, rain or shine!

Sorry for this all over blog post.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

To really love a Woman

As I sit here in my corner of the house, finally alone for the first time in two weeks, the sun is shining through the trees and mostly blinding me as I try to see my screen. I am listening to my favorite love song of all time. You know this song? I have never actually seen the movie with Johnny Depp, but I have seen the video many times.

To really love a woman, to understand her
You gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought, see every dream
An' give her wings when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
You tell her, that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
'Cuz she needs somebody
To tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
Really, really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman, let her hold you
Til' you know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her, really taste her
Til' you can feel her in your blood
An' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
You tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
'Cuz she needs somebody
To tell her that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really
Really, really ever loved a woman?

You've got to give her some faith, hold her tight
A little tenderness, you gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you
You really gotta love your woman, ya

And when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
You tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
'Cuz she needs somebody
To tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
Really, really ever loved a woman?

Just tell me have you ever really
Really, really, ever loved a woman?
Just tell me have you ever really
Really, really, ever loved a woman?

I feel like DH listened to this song, and we are living what Bryan Adams sings in this song. Lucky, lucky me. I hope everybody is having a great Sunday with your loved ones today!

***Edited to include Ana's Exercise Challenge
I plan to run three times this coming week for at least 25 minutes each.***

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving for Non-Americans

Ten years ago today, DH and I were getting ready to go to his sisters for Thanksgiving. She is a great cook, and loves to cook anything but turkey on Thanksgiving. That year however, she did make a turkey, for me, the Au-Pair. You know, let me experience the way Thanksgiving is supposed to be experienced because I was just supposed to be here for one year and then go back....
Back then, DH and I were living together in the same house, I was taking care of his two unruly children, and we slept in each others arms every night. One child knew, the other didn't. The family didn't know, of course, that he was having sex with the Au-Pair, and let me just tell you, it was awkward. Very very awkward. During the evening, I found myself drifting toward DH, needing to be close to him, wanting to only sit with him. My English was still a work in progress, and talking to all the family members and friends present was a lot of work, exhausting. 

That year, I had no clue what Thanksgiving meant. That it is a very important holiday here in the US. I didn't know it is one of the most American holidays. Growing up in Germany, Christmas was the biggest holiday. I never even considered that it might be different in different countries.
Thanksgiving here is one of two (?) holidays that are not religious. Any American, no matter their religion, celebrates Thanksgiving. The family gets together, there is no pressure about gifts for everybody. Thanksgiving is about being with the ones you love, celebrating being thankful, and just having a great time together.
Our plans today include:
No shopping
I need to start the apple pie
Less computer time, more kids time
Playing as much Uno as we can stand, and have me win at least once!
I feel like Christmas here in the US is turning into more of a business and religious struggle than anything else. The children are not allowed to celebrate Christmas in Public schools, but instead celebrate the "Happy Holidays". 
Thanksgiving seems like it is the only untarnished holiday left, it is very traditional, and we all know I like traditional...

In this sense, something very traditional for Thanksgiving is stating things you are thankful for. 
I am thankful for my entire family's health, for our beautiful children, my husband,discovering ttwd, and actually doing it, and my life. I am so thankful for this feeling of happiness that surrounds me most days.

On another note, I brought up ttwd/TiH exactly a year ago! Amazing!

Have a great long weekend  everybody! Enjoy your family!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Seattle in the Rain!

Since there is not much going on in the sex department, for various reasons...., I figured I would post some pictures I took the other day while visiting Pike Place Market in Seattle.

First Starbucks:

On our trip here, I saw a sex shop which I really wanted to go into and look for something, but didn't want to do it with my friend there. DH and I have been looking for something (very personal, lol, okay, an anal plug) on the internet, but we can't find one that is in the stock of the one we want. I might just have to get back to an actual brick and mortar store to find the One!

Friday, November 16, 2012

Picture Friday!

Okay, I am not that thin, but that is exactly what DH loves to do and was describing in the last post.....

Very pretty pic! I love how you can see his hand going to his favorite place...

And I love doing this.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012


I just wanted to let you guys all know how much your comments meant to me . DH and I were very excited about our LOL spanking, and although it turned into something very unexpected (and painful), we had a great time. I don't regret it. It was very intense, and I think we were both not quite ready for it yet, or it was just so unexpected, either way though, it opened up our communication channels even more, and I am quite happy with how everything is going.
My BFF I have written about before, is here at the moment, therefore I am a bit preoccupied. I am sorry I don't have time to read most of your guys' blogs. I try to sneak on every once in a while, but wanted to let you guys know what is going on. I appreciate your input so much, and I know DH did/does too.
I hope everybody is having a great day today!

Sunday, November 11, 2012


When Julia told me she had an idea for her blog on LOL day related to getting spanked for the number of comments she received, I immediately liked the idea.  I emailed her back a little table of the number of swats per implement, but taking pictures were her idea.

She has great ideas.

On Friday, instead of changing my clothes when I came home, I stayed in my work clothes. Julia loves to look at me when I wear my work clothes. I see her stealing looks at me. After the kids were in bed,Julia took a shower, and then put on her outfit.  She had gathered the implements and had already started taking pictures of them.

I had her bend over the bed.  I lectured her on how I was going to spank her with my hand to warm her up, before I started the real spanking.  I reminded her that I would expect her to count each swat out loud, and made her agree with me.

I lifted her plaid skirt to find my favorite white thong between her firm cheeks.  I put my finger in the loop in the waistband, and pulled hard as I started spanking her with my hand.

"Do you feel your panties against your pussy?" I spanked her hard on her right cheek for several swats.

"Yes!" Her ass started weaving back and forth.  I spanked harder, released the tension on her thong, and then pulled it tighter.

"Do you like it?"  She moaned, squirming as my finger traced down the narrow cotton, pressing it between her lips and rubbing hard.

"Yes," she sighed.  I pulled her thong down carefully, past her knees, and off, enjoying the wet fabric.   She returned to her position, kneeled across the bed with her feet on the floor.

"Count the swats of my hand," I commanded.  I swung hard.

"One!" she yelped.  "Two!"  "Those are pretty hard, you know!"  I paused for a second, and decided she was right: I was probably a little too excited.  I backed off my swing, but kept it hard enough.  At 7, I aimed low, covering both cheeks right where they meet her upper thighs.

After 10 swats, I rubbed her cheeks with my hand.  "You know," I muse, "at least one of your readers commented about my belt."  I unfasten my belt and pull it through the loops of my pants.  "I want you to count as I swat you with my belt, OK?"  I made a loop by holding both sides of the belt in both hands, and then snapped the belt by pulling the ends apart.

"OK," she promised.  I raised my arm in a high backswing and then brought the belt down across her ass.  The belt slaps together as it makes impact, creating more of a flogging effect.  I adjusted by swinging harder.

"Two! Three! Four..." Her hips started their dance as I increased the tempo of the strikes that crashed down across both cheeks, stopping at 10 and rubbing her red ass with the belt.

I let my finger wander down the cleft of her ass as I found the hair brush.  10 hard swats.  Without pausing, I got out the leather paddle, and administered 10 hard, painful swats across her ass.  Her counting got quieter with each swat as the pain drove her deep within her self.  Her hips shifted wildly.

"OK, that's 40!" (When we chose the cut-off, that's what we had, sorry to those who commented after.) "Now just 2 more.  With the wooden paddle."

She had collapsed forward on the bed.  I perched on my knees, and lined up the paddle with her left cheek.  I pulled back, and swung the paddle hard into her red skin.

CRACK!  Almost immediately, she went over on her side, bringing up her knees as she breathed, "41".  I pulled her back over by her hips, lined up with her right side, and swung again.

CRACK!!!  The sound literally echoed in my ears.  She swung over on her side again, twitching as her knees came up to her chest.  There was no mistaking the sob in her voice as she got it out:


And then the bottom fell out.  What had I done?  She was ... crying?

"Are you OK?  Did I go too far?" I asked her, lying next to her on the bed.  I recognized that we had pressed up against the boundary of the "next level" for us: her crying as the result of a spanking.  Don't get me wrong, I've caused Julia to cry in other ways, mostly out of frustration.  But I hadn't ever made her cry during a spanking, and to be honest, it scares me.  In some ways, I'm fascinated by the idea, but Julia can bear a lot of pain.  I don't know if that's somewhere I want to go.  Or somewhere we need to go.  But for now, I'm willing to play it by ear.

Julia's feedback to me about our session was that I was the only one that had brought up the wooden paddle (true), and that she wished I hadn't questioned myself at the end.  She also said I should hold her more, after every spanking.

I'll have to get started on that last one right away.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Come out, come out wherever you are!

When I found out about ttwd and Taken in Hand, I surfed their site all day. I would just read any article that interested me, trying to figure out if that is really what I wanted. And the weird thing was - it was. It really was. After I told DH about the site and DD, I created an account on the TiH site and started commenting, leading me to other people's blogs, and shortly after finding out about blogs, I started My Personal Thinking Spot.

DH and I have come a long way I think in some ways, not so much in others, but overall, I am a pretty happy camper here on my side of the earth. I love reading the comments I get, but I just love sitting here, reading the statistics about where my pagehits come from:

United States
United Kingdom

Saudi Arabia

I mean, doesn't this sound just awesome! I love the fact that people from all over the world read my blog. Maybe not regularly, but still, I find it incredible! So when I saw Bonnie's annual Love Our Lurkers post, I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to hear from the quiet ones (which btw, - usually that is me), the people who don't have an account, and never comment. Maybe you don't have the time? Don't feel like you have anything to add? Well, I always like leaving a comment, even if just a smiley so people know I was there and can smile back! Lurkers, this is the day! Please come out and make me smile!

To make this more fun for everyone, lol, DH has added that I will get a spanking tonight, the number of spanks depend on you guys however:
Under 10 comments – 10
10- 20 comments – 20 
20-30 comments – 30 
More than 30 - you get the idea...
 Leave me a comment with an implement of your choice (browse through my implement reviews to see what we have), and he will take a picture of my bum after, which I will post over the next few days!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Book review: Alice Liddell - Straits Academy

Since you guys all asked me exactly what I was reading, I figured I would write a short review about the book. Now, just imagine me sitting here with red cheeks because I can't believe I am actually going to 'talk' about this book. This is one of my guilty pleasures, reading books like this one. Okay, moving on...
The story is this: The year is 1921 and a young Englishwoman named Adelaide has sailed halfway around the world to marry, only to learn that her fiancĂ© has been brutally murdered. His friends Drake wants to investigate what happened to his friend, and persuades Addy to pretend to be his niece. He then enrolls her in Straits Academy, which he beliefs played a role in the finance's murder.
Straits Academy is a finishing school for girls. Girls here get prepared to become wives, lovers, concubines, but Drake doesn't really know that when he enrolls Addy here.
This book includes spankings, although not too harsh, and anal play, not sex, but play as school discipline. And some of you may know, I love anal sex, so this was really a book I thought I would enjoy. And I did. 
The book is said to be a full-length novel, but I think it could have been longer and included more of a story even. 
I usually don't really go for the F/f thing, but it totally worked in this book. I did like the heroine because she wasn't one of those women who pretend to not like the spankings and discipline, but secretly she does like it. She just kind of goes with it. Definite plus for me.

So there you go guys. My cheeks are no longer red, I guess just talking about it makes it less naughty, which is good. I mean DH and I do everything that was mentioned in that book, therefore I should be okay right?
Any book suggestions for me after reading this?

Sunday, November 4, 2012


As I sit here, with my second coffee, working away at my homework, I realize how much I have already done today. And not only done, but accomplished, left my stamp of approval behind it, as it were!
Most importantly, DH got up way early, grabbed his laptop, and left our room to let me sleep in. I did. So on my list already:
Sleeping in. Check!
I started a sexy book last night, and got to read for a little while this morning already too. Lucky me. I love those tucked away 15 minutes of just me time. And I love DH for letting me have this time, taking care of the kids, and mostly leaving me alone.
Reading. Check!
Even though DH left me alone for a while, he did need some attention after a while. He came into the room, saw me reading, asked if I was enjoying myself, which I was. He came up onto the bed, pulled down his pants, and I could see his dick getting really big really quickly. He tweeked my nipples, and started caressing me. I did mention that sexy book I was reading,, right? so I was already really turned on.
I started licking DH's penis, taking him in my mouth. Within two minutes, he was so turned on, he grabbed my head to hold me still, and was lost in the moment, he pulled out just in time to come all over my face. He had the biggest, cheesiest grin on his face after. "It was the hair around your head, you just look so beautiful!" Awww.
Pleasured DH immensely. Check!

I got up, put on my running clothes, and even though I had tried to talk my way out of having to work out that third time this week, and DH relenting, I got up and did it anyway. For some reason, I keep trying to see how much I can talk my way out of, and when it works, I feel bad for having done it. So I thought going running would make me feel less guilty. I also told DH about how I feel, that I would like him to be a bit more firm about this, when I try to get my way out of something. He told me he doesn't like conflict, which of course I know, but that doesn't mean you can avoid it in your life. I told him he can use us to learn how to handle conflict.
Running for the third time this week. Check!

I came back in and DH was making popovers for breakfast. I was watching him with our little one, and just had such a happy moment. I feel bad for my mother at times like these, because she never got to see her best friend and lover have such a tender moment with their child. It was all her, no dad in sight.
Falling in love with the father of my children all over again. Check!
We had great breakfast, and now I am sitting here, doing my homework/facebook/news/blogs. I just looked at the clock, and it is not even 11 in the morning yet. I would say this is a great start to a day!
Homework at least started, which is the hardest part for me. Check!
Caught up on blogs, facebook, news. Check!

Happy Sunday Everybody! And for my US readers, this is the last weekend before the election. Please vote! Get your voice out there, be informed, and vote! And then, we will be done with all these political ads everywhere!

Friday, November 2, 2012

Picture Friday!

Well, since I always have a post with mostly just pics, I thought I will just make it official, therefore Picture Friday!

Doesn't she have a beautiful butt? I love it! And I am usually not big on girls....

Mh, I love spanking pics when you can see some of the guy, especially a guy in work clothes like slacks, belt, you get the idea....


This last one is a gif, so give it a moment to load. That moment captured is just so sexy, scary, and intimate.

Happy Friday everyone! 

Thursday, November 1, 2012

No catch?

Free Candy (Seems Legit)

While trick or treating early the other day, we came upon this candy being offered.

Its just too funny not to share!

I hope everybody had a great Halloween! We did. It didn't rain, although we didn't have many kids coming by the house, but the kids that did come by, got huge handfulls of candy to avoid having any leftover. Because.
 Leftover Candy = Julia eats it, which is not good. Don't want to get in trouble with DH.
I hope all my readers are safe and sound, have a roof over their heads, and are warm.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012


I don't really feel like blogging. Everything is going great here, we have power and are warm, which is making me feel very thankful, and at the same time, I keep thinking about the East Coast. The people without power, the damage, deaths, injuries, and loss of property. My heart goes out to all of them. I am not big on praying, but my thoughts are with you.

Monday, October 29, 2012

A man with a plan!

The weekend is over. Again. It seems that the weekend always goes by faster than I think it will. But to be honest, this weekend was just awesome! First, my friend offered to take our children for a sleepover, and we had a date night with lots of sex, and even morning sex. I love lazy morning sex when you don't have to worry about little feet running down the hallway, knowing they are as happy as can be.
A little snag in our weekend was the getting wet in the closet part. And I don't mean wet as in ready, but wet as in, it is raining through our roof, and dripping into our closet.

I am not sure how much I have described DH before, but he is a geek. No wait, he is The Geek! He is going to dress up as Luke Skywalker for Halloween, and to top it all off, he is going to wear a Dana Carvey wig with it. So I think that draws a very accurate picture for everybody.

Well, back to the roof. Before ttwd, he would have freaked out mostly because he didn't know how to deal with it and would have known it would be expensive.

He freaked out for about two minutes, and then put his HoH cap back on as well as his toolbelt, and climped up onto the roof in the misty, drizzling Seattle rain. And he fixed it. He did it. I was a bit skeptical, but not negatively, and wanted to wait it out until it rained again. Living where we do, that is not hard, and low and behold, it is dry!

And let me just point out that even though that picture of Dana Carvey looks totally douchy, DH did not in his toolbelt. He looked hot. Really hot.

So here is a shout-out to my HOT HoH! Rawrrr!!!!

And one more shout out to all my readers and fellow bloggers on the East Coast. You are in my thoughts and I hope everybody is safe waiting out the storm!