Monday, April 30, 2012

My own set of expectations, Please!



My husband was married before we got married. Obviously their marriage did not work out. I think partly because he can be very passive aggressive ( I can imagine him mentally checking out), and apparently she was very lazy. She stayed home with the kids, never cleaned anything, never cooked dinner, and just watching TV all day, while he was working at least two jobs. I know from personal experience of walking into her home, that she is dirty. She lives dirty, and her house stinks. She also spent all his money, all the time. She never paid any bills on time, and managed to bounce more checks than not.

Well last week, it hit me! I want my own set of expectations from my husband please! I don't want to measure up to her expectations anymore. At the beginning of our marriage, it was all about doing it better than her to please and impress him. Like making sure dinner is on the table at the same time every week. He has clothes to wear to work.....

Well, I realized last week, that I surpassed her expectations years ago! I want my own expectations! He knows me, my cooking, what I am capable of, and my desire to please him. So I told him I want higher standards, and I want him to ask for higher standards for us. Why did this never occur to me before? I have no clue. All I know is that I want him to want more for us. And to enforce these raised expectations.

After some discussion about his, we have come up with a few more rules. Love that! I love having expectations from him that I want to meet. The kitchen now has to be clean all the time, as well as vacuuming once a day. Doesn’t sound like much I am sure, but just the fact that I know he is paying attention to this more now than he used to, makes me feel all warm and content (which could also be from our maintenance last night....)!

13 comments:

  1. Possibly neither of you ever thought of it before because things are so much better then his first marriage.

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  2. Yes, so true. But I still think it is weird. But I feel so much more appreciated now too.

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  3. Sometimes it's nice to get that little bit of extra focus going. It can be rather ......... motivational :)

    Dee x

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  4. That sure sounds reasonable to me! I hope that together you can come up with some unique things that make you smile. Come up with a couple for him too--things that will challenge him a bit. He might enjoy it.

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    1. Susie! What a great idea to come up with some for him too. Although no clue yet as to what, but I will have to think about this....

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  5. I think it's great that 1.You know you can go above and beyond the former expectations, and 2.That he sees it as well. Sounds like it's going very well. :)

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    1. It is going pretty well, I am pretty satisfied! I can always tell because I stop reading romance novels...:)

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  6. Sounds like it's going really well! Expectations sound so much better than rules..lol. I call mine "guidelines" ha ha, but he calls them rules ;)

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  7. I love that you're taking his expectations of you to a whole new level, that's what this is about, being the best you two can be for one another. Nice. :)

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  8. Having him pay attention is one of the things I love about ttwd. Sounds like you are doing well.

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    1. Yes, that is definitely one of my favorites too!

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