Thursday, May 3, 2012

Don't not make a sound!


Speaking of Fifty Shades of Grey. I love reading! I love reading romance novels, although lately I have been moving into a different genre. Mainly erotica. But the story still needs to be good, I don’t just read it for the sex scenes. After I finished FSOG, I was longing for a strong male in my life that would love me as much as this guy does in the book. And then I started thinking, I am married. I love my husband like that. Why not have sex like that too?
DH and I have been together for over nine years now. As we approach this ten year anniversary, I keep hearing about other couple’s who don’t make it. To us personally, sex is the essential part to our marriage. Whenever we don’t have sex for a few days, or gasp a whole week, he starts to get a bit distant and it gets harder to get back into the groove!
Practicing ttwd has let us be more open with one another. When I first brought it up, I opened a whole can of worms I was not prepared for. I mean, who would have thought that I had to spill my guts and tell him my most secret fantasies? I didn’t think of that I guess. But I got over it. I mean we are together. We chose to marry and spend our lives together, so why not be open and honest with one another and be the absolute best we can be?

Yesterday, after we put the kids to bed, I surprised DH by putting on a skirt, blouse, and knee socks for the Sunday maintenance. I was unsure of myself when I walked into his office, he didn’t notice the outfit at first, and then couldn’t look away. He guided me into our bedroom, had me get my new hairbrush, and lay down over his lap. He started telling me how pleased he is with our progress, how I have been behaving, and how this spanking is supposed to last me all week.
All week? As in, he is going to spank me that hard, or he won’t have time this week, and mentally this is supposed to last all week.

As it turns out, I have a high tolerance for pain, at least that is why DH says. I can handle a lot, apparently. And after Sundays's maintenance, he asked me to be more, how do I put this? Vocal? When I am in pain, I have to concentrate on it, I get quiet and I don't hear what is going on around me. Now though, he is asking me to make some sound so he knows where I am at. But I am not sure I can do that. How do you guys handle it? Do you take it quietly? Or make sounds?

It is now Thursday, and I have to admit, so far it has lasted me this long.

12 comments:

  1. I'm like you in that I don't hear what's going on around me. I don't get quiet, but I'm not verbal either. What works best for us is Musicman forcing the issue by asking questions and checking in with me. It still sometimes takes me awhile to answer, if I answer at all. Still very much a work in progress for us.

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    1. He does check in with me too, he might just have to do it more often to force the issue like you said. And yes, it really is a work in proggess. I like that though!

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  2. I think like faerie said in her comment, maybe him asking questions and checking in with you during the spanking will help you to be more vocal. If he asks certain questions once in a while during it, it'll help you focus on whatever he is asking about. I always feel that helps a bit. Good luck!

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  3. I feel like I yelp an awful lot...lots of ows:) My husband often lectures and asks me questions during a spanking too, so I don't have a lot of hope for keeping quiet.

    Congrats on the upcoming anniversary! We are closing in on 10 years too.

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    1. Thank you Tess! Doesn't feel that long.

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  4. I was once a silent one. I took my spankings with hardly a peep or squirm. I'm an introvert and I like to soak things in. Of course, he took this as, "If she's not gasping, I'm not doing it right." So then, he'd wail on me. Yeah, eventually if they hit hard enough, even the quiet ones will yell! But in all seriousness, he asked me to be louder, he wants to gauge my pain. Not that a gasp will make him hit less hard or end the spanking, but he just wants to know where I'm at, he wants to be safe. It was hard for me at first, to make noise. In fact, it felt fake! In time, it became less fake, and now I'll naturally squeal. I don't know if that helps, but I guess what I'm trying to say, is if I can find a way to be vocal, anyone can! :)

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    1. Yes! This is exactly where we are at I think. So I guess I will get over the fake feeling of it at some point. Maybe.

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  5. I like what faerie says but I think I identify with what Riley said more. I'm not a screamer either :) but I will say that now that it's down the road a bit, I'm not quite as quiet as I was! It takes a little time for both of you to settle into it and before you know it, it's easier to tell where you're both at.

    Dee x

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  6. I yelp a little sometimes. I often get verbal and complain. But...the more he's actually getting at the heart of things the quieter I become. He often doesn't realize I'm crying right away unless it's an angry cry. They really do have to pay a lot of attention and I suppose when we can remember, it's good to give them cues.

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  7. I am a like how Susie described herself. I make some noise but not a crazy amount. More gasps and complaints. Like her I can cry before he realizes it. I think it confuses him sometimes. I appreciate that it sounds like all our guys like to make sure we are OK.

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  8. I am also quiet, perhaps a gasp here or there, even crying is quiet. I respond when spoken to. I'm not much of a wiggler, either. I'm a tenser, my arms pull in tight under me, and my belly tightens up...sometimes it feels like the world's most effective ab workout - though somehow I don't see it as a very marketable product.

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