Sunday, May 6, 2012

The one where I feel like Monica on Friends

This weekend was a long one. We had a bunch of stuff to do because we are in the process of refinancing our home and need to get some stuff fixed before we can get the loan. DH is not that handy. He is a computer guy. Give him any stupid computer that doesn't work anymore and he can fix it, but a new railing on the front porch, or painting the house is just not his thing.

I am still sick, but at least my head is not pounding anymore, but it still meant I was off limits to DH. He has this thing where he is just not turned on by a sick lady. Makes me think of Monica on Friends when she is horny and trying to seduce Chandler.

So of course, maintenance didn't happen. :(  And not much else happened between us the entire weekend. He seems to not know how to be around somebody who is sick I guess. Since we have started this new journey together, we have done the one side of ttwd, spanking and to a degree discipline, but never the taking care part. He realized this yesterday evening before he had to log into work on a  Sunday. He realized that ttwd means taking care of me to a degree, making sure I don't overdo anything, and maybe even telling me to go rest. Well he didn't all weekend. And I know, if I need to rest, I should just say that, but part of me wanted him to notice and to send me to bed. To keep the girls away from me to make sure I rest.

Instead, I mowed half the lawn until I ran out of breath and got really dizzy. Just thinking about it makes me realize that I wanted him to take me in hand, make me stop. But he didn't. At the same time, this makes me wonder, am I weak? Why do I want him to take me in hand? Why do I need this? Makes me think of Saoirse's post. What do you guys all think? I am being childish for wanting him to make me rest?

6 comments:

  1. Julia, I hope you are feeling better today! I don't think you're weak, I think the need to feel cared for comes with the territory of ttwd. You make yourself so vulnerable to him through submitting in body and mind, you want to know he's taking good care of you. For us, the "care" came a bit later as well. When we originally started ttwd, we went through the motions, but the emotional aspect took a bit more time. Have you tried telling him you need this? It may help. Even if he doesn't "get" it immediately, I do think he will at least have it in the back of his mind, and as you two progress, perhaps the "caring" part will come as well. Hope that helps and that you're having a better day today!

    PS, I love Friends!!

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    1. Riley. Thank you for your kind words. I am feeling better.
      I did try to tell him how I feel, but I think he felt mostly overwhelmed, and I know that we are still learning this, its just the learning process can seem so long when you are sick like this. You know?

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  2. I think Riley sums it up really well. What we forget is that even though 'we' are adjusting, so are they. Everything doesn't fall into place all at once. I'm sure 'the care' thing will fall into place too given time :)

    Dee x

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    1. Dee, you are right, I am adjusting, and so is he. Good to keep this in mind, but hard to do when you are sick and all you want is somebody to take you in hand....:D

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  3. I agree with Dee in saying that Riley sums it up really well. I don't think you're weak at all for wanting to be taken care of. I feel like not only does that come with the territory of ttwd, but it also comes with the territory of a relationship. You want your significant other to take care of you and I think we all just want that feeling of being cared of. That doesn't make you weak at all, it makes you human. As hard as it is, I think talking to him and expressing how you feel is your best bet. I hope you're feeling better, being sick is no fun!

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    1. I am feeling better, finally! I always forget how terrible I feel when I have a cold. We talked this morning, a little. He hasn't had time yet to read my blog, and I don't like him to do it when I know that he is doing it (If that makes sense). But we have a date for tonight...:D

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