Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I shouldn't have.

I shouldn't have written my post yesterday.
I said I don't really get emotional when I get my period. I bet writing it down yesterday, or just thinking it, resulted in the way I feel today.

Backing up: Tomorrow is my birthday. My birthday is always special to me of course, and I like to be with family and friends. Over the last nine years, somebody from my family was either here, or we were in Germany.  Not this year. My mom is coming in June, and I am really excited, but as of right now, I am sad. Crying. Unhappy. Which is silly I know. But its true.

Last night, I was snuggling DH, and it occurred to me that ttwd hasn't been on my mind a lot over the last few days, for whatever reason. So I asked DH:

We are still doing this right? I mean, we are just getting used to it, right? Adjusting, things are settling in?

Why are you asking me this? Of course we are doing this.

I don't know, I haven't felt it I guess.

He sits up, turns off Conan, flips me over, and starts spanking me, really hard. Like he was insulted that I would even ask that. And thinking about it today, I realize that I guess I needed some reassurance because I am needy today, and yesterday, and probably tomorrow.
After a few minutes, I started to really fight him. It hurt. After he got the last word spank in, he soothed me and my poor bottom, cuddled me, and I fell asleep pretty blissfully.

This morning we woke up, and heard my oldest daughter proclaim that our stupid little dog had peed on the carpet. Again. And this is how my day is continuing it seems. At this point, at it isn't even noon yet, I would like this day to be over. Or at least have a good book and sit on the couch, but lately I can't even find anything I would like to read anymore.
I called DH, and started crying. I mean really? Yeah, I really did. I know he doesn't like it because he is so far away and he feels guilty, but I just can't keep the water works off today.

Going on the couch now. Hopefully Super Mario with the four-year-old will lift my spirits.

20 comments:

  1. I am not the best around my birthday either. See if you can't get a little me time somewhere in the middle and go easy on yourself!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I always associate birthdays with family and friends, and when family isn't around....

      Delete
  2. Oh Honey, I'm sorry you're sad :( Birthdays can be tough, especially if you can't be with loved ones. If it makes you feel any better, we woke up to 2 piles and one wet spot on the rug from our senile old dog. Not the best way to start any day :) Embrace the kids, play, have fun and celebrate. If I was close I would bake you a cake.

    And now, something a little different, Happy Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday, to YOU!! Be grateful you can't hear me singing, I'm tone deaf, lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you faerie. I feel a little better already, and DH just told me he is working from home tomorrow. huge sigh of relief.

      Delete
  3. I hope your day improves. Also I hope you find some happiness in celebrating your birthday. Take care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. Focusing on the positives is helping. Plus, what is there to complain about when I have DH and my beautiful girls? This is the life I chose, so I am trying to be okay with not having my whole family around.

      Delete
  4. So sorry you are bumming today Julia. Everyone has days like this once in a while. Wouldn't it be great if we could have do-overs? Or maybe fast forward;) I hope tomorrow is brighter and that it's still a special day, even though you won't be celebrating with your extended family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Tess. I would like a fast forward for today. Do over could end up even worse than it already is. Feeling a bit better though.

      Delete
  5. Im sorry its not one of the best says, and here's to hoping tomorrow is better.. happy almost bday!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope your day picked up and you are feeling better. Happy Happy Birthday!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Happy Birthday Julia! I've had a couple of yucky days and so I am ready to fast forward to the long weekend myself. Really, enjoy your birthday! Just sending you a blogging hug.
    Regards,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I don't have to ff anymore because DH is working from home tomorrow and has Friday off. Yeah for me! And I hope you are better tomorrow too!

      Delete
  8. Sometimes posting does help...especially when you're having a blah day. Your Taz pic made me laugh. I hope your spirits are lifted soon and that you have a Very Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rogue - it really did help! And then I went on the couch and took a nap. Awesome!

      Delete
  9. Aw, Julia, I hope your day picked up after your post. I'm glad your DH took care of you and showed you he was serious about the lifestyle, I think that shows a lot. Many hugs to you and Happy Birthday!!! I hope you have a good one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Thanks Riley. I did pick up, and I am feeling much better. Glad I got it out of the way before my birthday...:D

      Delete
  10. It's not silly at all. I can become a puddle of a mess over the smallest things sometimes (especially when hormones are involved.)

    Happy Birthday Julia!

    ReplyDelete

I love reading comments, and would love to hear from you!