Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A spanking a day will help with refinancing?

This weekend was perfect, absolutely perfect. It started with DH manager sending him home at 2pm on Friday because of the beautiful weather. We worked in our yard, enjoyed ourselves. The kids were amazing, and DH worked really hard at making it a wonderful Mother's Day. He even picked flowers from the yard instead of spending money on buying them. Love it!

DH has the tendency to be very grumpy after such a weekend. He sometimes feels like he is spending his life working to pay off our debt, and nothing brings that home like a Monday morning. And I understand. I really do. Doesn't seem quite fair that I get to stay home and take care of our children and home while he has to be gone all day. But we got ourselves into the debt and we are trying to get back out from underneath it. This includes refinancing our mortgage.

Which is almost impossible for us because we have student loans. So today, Tuesday morning, he had to call our refinance person, who keeps saying ,yeah not a problem, and then calls back saying, hey how do you feel about 3.5% for a 15 year? Well that is great, if you want to pay half of that. There is no way we can afford that. Arg, so frustrating.

So, DH and I were just on the phone, and I snapped. I yelled at him because this is soo frustrating. We are doing everything we can, and still. He just wrote me an email:


I understand, and I agree, this is extremely stressful.  

We’ll talk more about it tonight.  And by talk, I mean something totally different.

Now, I am in for it. Which is good if it happens, but if it doesn't, then I feel even worse because it will feel like he is not being consistent, and that seems to me like he doesn't care enough about ttwd and me. And I know that is not true, not after this last weekend, and really the last nine years together. So, I am going to relax about it, try not to freak out about our finances, and just not spend any money.

11 comments:

  1. Try not to get ahead of yourself! Easier said than done, I know:) The last line of his text made me giggle.

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    1. Yeah, the last line made me sit up straight in my chair...:D

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  2. Not freaking out is a good idea, lol. Though as Tess mentioned, easier said then done. You seem to have a good perspective on the situation now, maybe that will help tonight no matter how it works out.

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    1. Yeah just writing my blog post made me be able to take a step back and look at the situation again objectively.

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  3. I hear you on the money stress. I hope that you get things worked out.

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  4. If money grew on trees...well, I'd have a yard filled with money trees! lol But, I suppose then the value would go down and everything would cost so much more, huh? Bummer. I hope things work out for you to refinance and I hope that will ease some of the monetary stress for you. Talk or "talk"...yeah, I'm familiar with that. I hope it goes well, the "talk" that is.

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    1. Grace, thanks for stopping by! Yeah, not sure money growing on trees would salve anything. Although what a weird concept right? I have noticed that there are only two things that really end up causing friction with us: Differences on opinions concerning money and his older children...!

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  5. Debt is only debt if you're not paying it. That's what I tell myself when my credit card takes a hit :) Hope your 'talk' went ok.

    Dee x

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  6. No kidding Julia, they ALL say the same thing. This talk about talk which doesn't mean talk at all! There's a secret HoH file folder in the back of their head that they pull out. Makes me giggle...most of the time.

    I'm real sorry about the finances and all the stress. We've never quite been in this spot but have been in some rough spots and my stress was over the top.

    A spanking a day to ease stress. Hey, why not!

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