Got a 100% on it!
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Got a 100% on it!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
otk paddle wood
girl on girl spanking
good girl spanking
is a wide conair hair brush a good spanking implement?
spanked college coed
Not sure why anyone would find my blog by looking for girl on girl spanking because that just doesn't appeal to me at all, but whatever!
What is your weirdest search term?
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
DH took the day off today to be here with me, and take care of some things around the house before the mother-in-law arrives. He is so particular that way. I love it!
Getting to the title of the blog post now. DH has been sitting next to me here at my computer, reading over my shoulder while I was doing my homework for school. I go to school online, earning my BS in Health Care Admin. Very exciting stuff, although some classes are just too amusing to us, and so he sits with me and we make fun of my class mates spelling abilities. I know. I know. Very judgy, but trust me, sometimes you just have to laugh even if it is morally wrong.
DH is in a really good mood, and we just read one blog post of Conina together. Really hot stuff! DH started snorting, laughing, looking a little embarrassed.
"OMG, do you realize that you are a co-ed?"
Here I am, trying to remember what a co-ed is. Not having grown-up here, there are some things I still don't know what they mean, like co-ed. Something college related? Right?
"Um, and that means....."
He is still grinning from ear to ear.
"I want you to wear your entire outfit again tonight. When your mom is in bed. She will go to bed early because of her jet lag, and we will try out that loopy johnny look-alike."
After reading another post of Conina's, I had an idea with materials at hand. Duct tape and window screen rope. It is not pretty, like at all. But we have not tried it yet, and so we are both a little anxious and excited.
Not sure how much time I will have for blogging over the next two weeks, but I will be back!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
My mother is coming tomorrow from Germany. I am excited! But also very anxious. My mom always makes me anxious. When I was younger, newly married to DH, I would even get really uncomfortable being in her home. Physically uncomfortable. Could have something to do with her then-husband, who was an inappropriate toucher, but I think it had more to do with her judging me, maybe? Maybe I thought she judged me for getting married at 18, and leaving the country. Could be. I don't know.
Our relationship is pretty established now though. She comes to visit at least once a year, stays for about two to three weeks, and we have a great time. She helps with cooking, laundry, and my yard. The kids, a little, not as much as I would like. She loves her granddaughters, but she always says "I have done my duty with you guys." Can't really blame her for that. My moms husband killed himself a couple years back, he was an alcoholic. And she wasn't really that sad. She was and still is sad for the time she had with him when he wasn't drinking, but after he started, he never really stopped again. I have lived with an alcoholic and know the difficulties that come with it. I can't blame her for not missing him. When I was growing up, she had a few men, but mostly, she is a strong woman, who will rather do something herself than wait for a man to do it.
When DH was going through his depression, she would mentally shake her head at the things he would get pissed at. Don't get me wrong, some of the things DH did and said and felt while depressed, made me shake my head too, even roll my eyes. But I was still here for him. He is my husband, and I am here for him. The last time my mother saw us, DH was not taking any medication yet. He is a different person now. He is free, he is happy, more relaxed, and more balanced.
I guess I am a little anxious to see what she thinks, how she will react. Does that make sense?
Today is the last real day to get ready for her. I have to clean, change offices to make room. And of course, don't forget that doing ttwd might be tricky with her here. Our last guest from Germany stayed for three weeks, and it was at the beginning of our journey. DH pulled back, and I was left hanging. At least that is what it felt like. He was a little lost, couldn't reestablish our connection. Spanking has very quickly become a necessity for us. Even just the little ones help us come back together, connect us. And not just sexually. So I am a little worried.
On the other hand, DH has changed so much, and been such a rock for me lately, that I feel like I shouldn't even worry about it. I can rely on him to be here for me, no matter what.
And we do have a wood shed!
How do you guys deal with house guests and ttwd? Tips? Advice? Stories? Failures? Would love to hear anything to reassure me a little that doing ttwd is possible with somebody else in the house.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Description: Leather paddle
Intensity: More intense than a thorough hand spanking, but not like a wooden implement.
Sound level: I was surprised at how quiet it was.
Feeling during spanking: Perfect. (Can I say that about getting a spanking?)
DH comment: This will work!
Susie and Ashley both told me about leather paddles on one of my implement reviews. Honestly, leather kind of freaked me out. Leather seems to be such a BDSM thing. You know? Like kink factor infinity, and I was always shying away from that a little. I know DH is not into that at all, and so leather implements were never really something we even thought about.
But after reading how many of you guys have them, and the fact that it is not as harsh as wood, made me reconsider. So I browsed, and found one on eBay that I liked. It is fairly long, which surprised me.
DH tried it out for the very first time in his office, me leaning over, and him spanking me with it over my pants. He was very careful, didn't want hurt me, and he wanted to get a 'feel' for it.
"Tonight, I want you to wear your whole outfit. So after the kids are in bed, I want you to take a shower, and then put it on. Get the new paddle out and wait by the bed."
Grrr. That is almost like corner time for me. Although never had to do that, so I am sure corner time is even more humbling. So I went and took a shower, and then put on my outfit. My outfit is a short plaid skirt, white underwear, long white socks, black bra, white blouse, I am sure you get the idea..... This outfit has been perfected over the last few months, and I just got new stockings/long socks with a bow at the front. Very cute. I was feeling very cute at that point. Whenever DH sees me in this outfit, instant hard-on for him. He makes me feel so desired and sexy. I love it!
I waited for a few minutes at the bed, just standing there, thinking about the fact that I should really clean his nightstand. It was super dusty (cleaned it yesterday actually).
He came in the room, and just stood there, looking at me. He had me spin around.
"Lift your skirt."
I did, in the front, and not enough for him to see anything. I dropped it.
"Lift your skirt now."
I did it again, this time a little more. He was getting an idea of what panties I was wearing at this point, but not the whole view.
"Last warning, lift it now, or we will skip the leather and I am getting my favorite paddle out."
Okay, at this point, I lifted it all the way, and even spun around slowly. Jeez! I was just teasing.
He had me over his knees, and just lifted up my skirt again to expose my white panties.
He hand spanked me for several minutes over the panties, then slid them down just below the spot where a spanking really, really hurts, and continued with his hands.
About twenty swats later, he grabbed the leather paddle, and started with it.
I think he was still being pretty careful. I could have handled more, but the way he did it, it was just right. DH also likes to rub my bottom with implements, to give me a feel for it. Especially after, when my butt feels like a glow in the dark button, he likes to lay the cold implement on my cheeks, which always feels good, and is a nice way to end a spanking.
So, I like the leather paddle. I didn't bury it underneath all the other stuff we have in our newly appointed kink box. (I did however, bury the wooden paddle underneath everything else....)
Monday, June 18, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
June is DH's favorite month. When he was younger, several good things happened to him over the course of a few years, always on June 7th. His second child from previous marriage was born just minutes passed midnight on June 8th. He likes to think that his ex did it on purpose to spite him, but having gone through labor, I really don't think so. This year, June seems to be even bigger. His last child with his ex wife turned 18, and she graduated just last week. We are done paying child support for that one (we refer to her (ex wife) that way because we don't want to invoke her name...Harry Potter anyone?). A huge accomplishment for us. Plus this weekend is Father's Day, and June supposedly also means Summer will be here at some point.
I think these feelings of being overwhelmed are still cling-ons from his depression. He would totally loose sight of everything, and I would have to talk him down, while he was sitting in his car at work. Today, was a little reminder of those times. He called me, and I talked him down. But while I was talking to him, I realized that he would probably spank me tonight. Not because I had done something, but because he will most likely need to reconnection and even assurance. And I am looking forward to it. I am excited! I love the fact that I can make him feel that way. I love that it is not just about me talking him down anymore, but that I can provide (or my ass) such a relief to him.
While I was talking to him, we talked some more about his exwife, who we, of course, saw at the graduation ceremony with her new husband. Not so new anymore, but I had never met him before. And I can't say I have met him now either. I mean, to some degree, we share a family. To some degree at least. And this guy didn't have the balls to step toward me or DH, stick out his hand and introduce himself. Making me realize, that, jeez, what a man. What kind of a man would do that? Well not an HoH. That is for sure. I am so lucky to have found DH, and not some guy who doesn't even have the balls to introduce himself to his stepchildren's father and stepmother.
You guys ever think that about people you meet? How relieved you are that you are not like them? That you can't even imagine being married to such a guy? I know I sound mean, but we have spend a lot of our money on that one, and have gotten a lot of crap from her that I am not going to get into.
It all boils down to: Ex-Wife! And we are done!
As a disclaimer, I don't have anything against people who are divorced and are ex-wives. It is just this one.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Intensity: Not the paddle, in a good way!
Sound level: Not that loud actually
Feeling during spanking: Nice sound, nice slap, stingy, but not like the paddle
DH comment: My new favorite!
As you may remember, my first paddle hairbrush broke a while ago. I went out shortly after to buy a new one. This time though, I wanted to buy one that was finished to avoid damage to it or my bottom. So I went to Target. I love walking through a store, looking for spanking implements. Not that I have found many, but still, I like to look around, imagine, try it out in my hand. So I found this one. It felt pretty stingy in my hand, sent DH a pic via nifty cell phone. He liked it too, so I bought it. Shortly after, we got the paddle and DH fell in love with it. The hair brush moved into the bathroom (where it should be :D) and DH didn't think much more of it.
But once I finally got DH to understand that I was really not kidding about the paddle and how I feel about it, mainly that it really should be reserved for punishment, and I will do almost anything to not deserve a punishment), he became more interested in the brush again. Although we did finally order a leather paddle too, but haven't received it yet.
Last night, DH asked if I wanted one more spanking with the hairbrush for my review. :D Yep, what girl could say no to that!
He started warming me up with his beautiful hands. He has been getting so much more confident, I can feel it in the way he spanks me. No more hesitation. He can read my body language better, and knows when I tense up. This morning he told me that he understand that when my legs go up, I am at my limit, and depending on his mood, he will slow it down, or even stop at this point, or go and get the paddle. Last night, after a good warm up, he got the hairbrush, and started spanking me with it. It is stingy, no doubt about it, but it doesn't pack the wallop that the paddle does. It seems the hair brush is not as intense, and is lighter. The sting is perfect, although depending on how hard he does it, I can't take much of it either.
After about 20 spanks with it, my legs started to move. I tensed up. Slowly the legs were coming up, I was reaching my limit. DH stopped, rubbed my hot, red cheeks, chuckled a little, and kept massaging them a little. I was starting to relax, and bam. bam. bam. Ou! Then he was done. He followed it up with some more hand spankings, but honestly those feel almost soothing at that point.
You guys have a paddle hair brush? Do you guys like it? So far, I would have to say this is my favorite as well.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Are you awake?
Mh, not really.
Well, since you put the hair brush on my night stand, I figured you wanted a spanking.
Mhh, no, not anymore. I am good. I feel perfect. (DH has been spanking me every single night since Friday.)
Well you look perfect. Spanking?
Okay, yeah, you are getting one now.
And he pulled me over his lap. I was suddenly awake. Cold. Shivering, but not from the cold, more from the anticipation. He rubbed my cheeks, told me about his perception of our day. He had given me some tasks to complete, but my day got interrupted by having to drive him to work in the morning for some reason, and I hadn't gotten any of the tasks done because I had to finish my homework which was due last night. He wasn't dissappointed, but wanted to remind me that he hadn't forgotten. He understood why I didn't get it done.
He spanked me. Just with his strong, big hands, but it was perfect. He kept on going.
After DH rubbed lotion on my backside, tucked me back in, and I fell back to sleep.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Over the last week it feels like my emotions have been all over the place. Started out all the way on top, then tanked, and now I am back up again. Although I think at a more healthy (and probably more achievable) up. I feel good. I am so thankful for having you guys to keep me sane, even in moments (okay, lasted longer than moments) of insecurity and neediness.
DH has been very much in charge over the last few days. I have been getting spankings left and right. Just today I may have been a little snarky, but mostly because I feel happy, content, and even playful. DH got up, closed the office door, had me get up, bend over, and he spanked me, over my pants right then and there while telling me not to talk to him that way. He finds it highly disrespectul. Honestly, I appreciate his openess, telling me he doesn't like something is just so much better than swallowing it down. It seems like a very healthy reaction, but one we are still working on.
We are working on being honest with each other regarding a lot of things, from blow jobs (which I love giving when we just took a shower, kids are not likely to waltz in) to how we are dealing with our children. I think ttwd has allowed us, maybe guided us, to this open communication. I always try to be honest with people even though I avoid conflict at all cost. I think this is a weird combination. I always think of people who are honest to a fault as being ready to fight, to argue, no matter what it is. But that is not me. The only person I have ever argued with is DH.
DH has been telling me about his fantasies which revolve mostly about my mouth on his cock and him coming on my face. I think he has had that fantasy for a long time, but just now felt confident enough to tell me about it. And I was happy to oblige. This morning, the kids were still quiet, he woke up a little and gently, but firmly, nudged my head down. I love when he knows what he wants and isn't too shy to act on it.
I love this. I love the open communication and just need to remember that the next time he doesn't have a lot of time for me.
Friday, June 8, 2012
That morning we had been in the shower together, nothing sexy, just time saving, and he asked why I was so quiet and withdrawn again.
"Do you miss this thing we do?" I could not believe he was actually asking me this. Was he being serious? Of course I was missing him being here, his presence, his influence, his comfort, his dominance. I was so hurt that I couldn't really say anything to him, and mostly just left and got everybody ready to go.
During the day, we send some emails, and in one of them, I admitted it, "Yes, of course I miss it." I mean, isn't that why we are supposedly doing this thing we do? Because we both want to? At that point, I was feeling like I was asking too much of him again. Like I was too much work, too much bother, too needy, too everything, and pulled back even more.
Back to him being home yesterday afternoon. I was sitting with him in his office, quietly. He stopped working, turned to me, and we finally talked. He admitted that apparently he wasn't doing his job right, in taking care of me. (great, I feel like I am work again). He told me that he would take care of it that night, and I would be getting the paddle.
"The paddle? That is for punishments remember?"
"I know, I will use to as punishment for me." Huh? How does that work? I don't think it hurts when you swing it, I think it only hurts when you lie there over his lap, getting it on your bare ass. I didn't say any of this out loud though.
For the rest of the day, he was attentive, held me, was there for the kids, but still distant from me. After the kids were in bed, he had me get into his favorite outfit, including a white thong and long white socks, and get the paddle. (yes, I didn't talk myself out of it this time)
Once I was in position, he started talking. I look forward to this. It seems that he can express himself the best while in this position. So he started talking, lecturing. I may have called him that afternoon before he got home, and told him I was buying liquor and that I was going to get drunk this afternoon. He is a dry alcoholic and therefore liquor is on our rules. Once a week for me. That is fine, I don't care, but that afternoon, I was so tired of not getting any attention (4 year old here). Well DH was upset about this. He couldn't believe I was saying it. When on his lap, he told me that it is still hard for him at times not to drink and me talking like that, was making him really mad.
"Not everything is always about you!" (yes, I said that while I was over his lap, skirt up, butt exposed, paddle lying there).
He warmed me up, which was great. I mean can I say that? I love the warm up. He grabbed the paddle, and started slowly, but that thing really hurts. The way it stings but it stings to deeply, and on the same spot, I can't handle it. Wasn't even the good kind. I can take a really long hand spanking, but I think he may have done 15 with it, and I begged him to stop.
"Please stop!" And he did. You probably remember that I am fairly quiet during spankings, so to him that was my safe word. (On a side note, I think we really do need a leather paddle, this wooden one is just so awful, and we haven't tried the new hairbrush yet, although it is awesome for my hair!)
We had great sex, although we still have to work on our timing, I usually come once, and that is mostly it for me. I get so tight that he has to pull out because it is too uncomfortable, and so that was an issue.
DH is blaming the good girl spanking. He thinks that because we didn't do maintenance on Sunday, this happened. I am not sure I agree with that 100%. We were both so tired that day, and in such a good place, but I guess Monday would have been good to do it, but he wasn't here.
I think I am feeling better today. I have done my chores that I hadn't done all week, and the house is pretty clean, laundry folded and put away. I still feel like we haven't figured it out yet. I still feel like too much work, I still miss his dominance, even in the little ways. I mean, I am not asking him to spank me all day, there are so many other ways he could be showing it. I mean, we have established that this is what we want, right? So he should have the confidence to act on it. But he doesn't at times. And I don't understand it, but at the same time, DH is still tired, still hasn't caught up on his sleep yet, so I am trying not to be too much bother. But that will result in us not working correctly. Vicious cycle.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
DH takes the train in the mornings, leaves the house by 7.30 and hasn't been back home until about almost 10 pm since we got home from camping.
I really did know this, which was one of the reasons why I enjoyed camping as much as I could. But I miss him. It feels like it has been forever and a day, since he has held me. We cuddle at night, always spooning, but it is just not the same, especially when I know he is tired. How can blame him? He is working like crazy this week. I even put on his favorite underwear last night, and he didn't even notice. Once he hit his pillow, he was unconscious within seconds. And I don't want to add more hours or even minutes to his day.
So I am sucking it up. As he puts it, I am checking out. He told me this morning that I have checked out.
Not really true, I see it as taking a step away so that at least our children get to spend a moment with him this week, and I am also taking a step back because I don't want to make his day even a minute longer if I don't have to.
This morning our youngest has her last day of preschool, and he stuck around this morning for a bit. In the past, he drove her to school, came back, and hang out with me while she wasn't here. And by hung out, I mean sex, spanking, really anything we wanted to do with no children in the house. Our only chance to be alone for two whole hours. Well, today, right now, was the last chance to do this for the summer (!) and he didn't have time. He has a meeting. He left. And god, how can I blame him? I can't. I am glad he has work, and that he enjoys it as much as he does. So I am sucking it up again. I don't want him to think I am ungrateful, and unreasonable, even though I have to admit, I was really thinking, and hoping, he would have time and come back to me.
Monday, June 4, 2012
We would have been lost, and bitten to death by mosquitoes no less, without insect repellent. We actually gave one bottle to neighbors who had forgotten. So thank you Fondlers Anonymous. And thank you Susie for reminding me to bring a broom, I actually packed up the tent cleaner than when we got it out! Although nobody reminded me to bring a knife and a spoon or two. Lol. Totally forgot. But as it turns out you can cut banana bread with a fork, and eat mini wheats with a fork, and measure out instant coffee with a fork! Its like magic!
The park was very close to the pacific ocean, and the weather changed constantly, but it was amazing. The pure power of the ocean fascinates me. When we finally got to the campsite on Friday, DH was starting to get antsy though. I knew to expect it too. He is not very good at change. Changing his environment makes him very self conscious and he looses patience very quickly. Trying to set up the tent, he started to really freak out, and I had to take over. I was in charge again. Not something I enjoy with DH, but I can if need be. And there was need. We finally set up the tent, I could see him breathing a little easier, but at this point, he already felt like he had let me down as the leader and HoH, and he withdrew into himself. It took the rest of the day to get him to feel more comfortable in the situation and environment, but once we were along, sitting at the camp fire, he started to be himself again. That night we snuggled. It was perfect even though I didn't sleep a lot. But thank god, and Susie and SNP for reminding me to bring our own pillows.
The next day, I could tell he was still a little unsure of himself. As in, should I just stay in the background and let her lead, or should I resume my position at the head of the household. Once I realized this, we talked and I told him that I was exhausted, hadn't slept much, and I would appreciate it if he could take over.
The rest of the trip was just amazing. We had the best time, the girls did great, and I got to take a lot of pictures.
We got home Sunday afternoon. I got everything put away (amazing right?), the girls clean, husband clean, kitchen clean, dinner. I mean, I was so exhausted at the end of the day.
Once the kids were in bed, we sat on the couch, watching the season finale of Touch.
"Today is Sunday. Maintenance. I want you to take a shower, and then I might just get the paddle out."
"Huh? The paddle? But I thought that was just for punishments? I mean, if there is a day I shouldn't get the paddle it should be today! Do you know what I have done this weekend?"
"Yeah I do. You were beautiful and amazing. I had the best weekend! I can't believe how awesome camping was."
"Well then why would I get the paddle? You told me it would only be for punishments" I was totally trying to get out of any spanking. I was exhausted. I didn't feel like maintenance simply because we had been together the whole weekend and didn't need the reconnecting.
As it turns out, DH needed it. After his stint of letting me lead, he felt the really big urge to dominate me, assure me he was the man and leader, and the easiest way for him to do that, is a spanking.
"You are right. No paddle, but get going. You are not getting out of the spanking."
Okay, well at least I got out of the paddle. I went to take my shower. Took my time, because there is no better feeling than a hot shower.
Once I was over his knees, he spanked me so lightly, its like he was too tired to do anything real too. After, I passed out (no sex even) and he watched some TV I think, although I don't even remember hearing the TV.
I seem to keep forgetting that ttwd is not just for me. It is helping DH become stronger too. He seems more confident than he has ever been before, and I think he is even feeling the difference at work and other areas of his life. I am already looking forward to this week, and at this point, I don't even remember the paddle as being that ouchy. Probably not a good sign....I should reread my last post.