Monday, June 4, 2012

A good girl spanking

I am back! I survived camping for the first time! Thank you guys all for the tips.
We would have been lost, and bitten to death by mosquitoes no less, without insect repellent. We actually gave one bottle to neighbors who had forgotten. So thank you Fondlers Anonymous. And thank you Susie for reminding me to bring a broom, I actually packed up the tent cleaner than when we got it out! Although nobody reminded me to bring a knife and a spoon or two. Lol. Totally forgot. But as it turns out you can cut banana bread with a fork, and eat mini wheats with a fork, and measure out instant coffee with a fork! Its like magic!

The park was very close to the pacific ocean, and the weather changed constantly, but it was amazing. The pure power of the ocean fascinates me. When we finally got to the campsite on Friday, DH was starting to get antsy though. I knew to expect it too. He is not very good at change. Changing his environment makes him very  self conscious and he looses patience very quickly. Trying to set up the tent, he started to really freak out, and I had to take over. I was in charge again. Not something I enjoy with DH, but I can if need be. And there was need. We finally set up the tent, I could see him breathing a little easier, but at this point, he already felt like he had let me down as the leader and HoH, and he withdrew into himself. It took the rest of the day to get him to feel more comfortable in the situation and environment, but once we were along, sitting at the camp fire, he started to be himself again. That night we snuggled. It was perfect even though I didn't sleep a lot. But thank god, and Susie and SNP for reminding me to bring our own pillows.

The next day, I could tell he was still a little unsure of himself. As in, should I just stay in the background and let her lead, or should I resume my position at the head of the household. Once I realized this, we talked and I told him that I was exhausted, hadn't slept much, and I would appreciate it if he could take over.
He did.
The rest of the trip was just amazing. We had the best time, the girls did great, and I got to take a lot of pictures.
We got home Sunday afternoon. I got everything put away (amazing right?), the girls clean, husband clean, kitchen clean, dinner. I mean, I was so exhausted at the end of the day.
Once the kids were in bed, we sat on the couch, watching the season finale of Touch.
"Today is Sunday. Maintenance. I want you to take a shower, and then I might just get the paddle out."
"Huh? The paddle? But I thought that was just for punishments? I mean, if there is a day I shouldn't get the paddle it should be today! Do you know what I  have done this weekend?"
"Yeah I do. You were beautiful and amazing. I had the best weekend! I can't believe how awesome camping was."
"Well then why would I get the paddle? You told me it would only be for punishments" I was totally trying to get out of any spanking. I was exhausted. I didn't feel like maintenance simply because we had been together the whole weekend and didn't need the reconnecting.
As it turns out, DH needed it. After his stint of letting me lead, he felt the really big urge to dominate me, assure me he was the man and leader, and the easiest way for him to do that, is a spanking.
"You are right. No paddle, but get going. You are not getting out of the spanking."
Okay, well at least I got out of the paddle. I went to take my shower. Took my time, because there is no better feeling than a hot shower.
Once I was over his knees, he spanked me so lightly, its like he was too tired to do anything real too. After, I passed out (no sex even) and he watched some TV I think, although I don't even remember hearing the TV.

I seem to keep forgetting that ttwd is not just for me. It is helping DH become stronger too. He seems more confident than he has ever been before, and I think he is even feeling the difference at work and other areas of his life. I am already looking forward to this week, and at this point, I don't even remember the paddle as being that ouchy. Probably not a good sign....I should reread my last post.

24 comments:

  1. You know sometimes I forget that TTWD affect the other party too. I feel selfish and needy that I want BIKSS to do all this leading and guiding and spanking sometimes. But I suppose if I listen to him carefully, I know that he's seeing a positive change in his own life too. He's already said that he handles things at work differently these days. In a good way. So yes, I'm quite certain that DH is also reaping the benefits of TTWD.

    And also, sounds like you had a lovely camping trip!!

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    1. We did. Thank you. And I hear you on feeling guilty, but whenever I say something like that, he always tells me that he gets to spank my ass whenever he wants to and that is more than enough. :D

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  2. Beautiful Pics. I live just down the road from there (and by that, I mean a state down or so) and was at the Ocean this weekend too. It feeds my soul.

    I like that you called this good-girl spanking - did you feel like it was?

    Great post.

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    1. Yes, I did feel like it was a good girl spanking!

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  3. Ah I love camping. It's been caravanning for me in the past but Mitch and I have just bought a tent!! :) Kids love camping and I'm sooo excited :D and yes, I totally agree, ttwd does become more a part of 'them' after some time, and they actually 'need' it just as much. Pretty cool :)

    Dee x

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    1. I am glad we were tent camping. Not that we have a caravan or RV. There weren't many tents at the park. I guess people like RVs more...
      It is so nice to see that I am not the only one craving this dynamic though. For a while I felt like I was asking so much of him. Now I know that he needs it just as much as I do. Thanks for stopping by!

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  4. I love to camp, but it is a lot of hard work. Especially with kids. It really sounds like everything went well from camping to spanking :) Yay!!!

    Interesting how our guys usually start this for us and then it changes them too, lol. The couple that grows together, stays together :)

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    1. I knew it was going to be a lot of work, which helped me just enjoy it and go with it. Glad to be home again though.

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  5. Good job! And good for you realizing what your husband was needing and craving. TTWD is a two way street.

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    1. Yes it is, isn't that just amazing? I seem to keep forgetting that.

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  6. Humm...I hadn't ever really thought about it that way but I like your conclusion. He chose wood b/c he needed to assert himself. I'll have to keep that in mind.

    Still glad you got a gg one!

    Congratulations on enjoying camping.

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    1. Well he wanted to use the wood one to assert himself, but I am glad I was actually successful in talking him out of it. Although after reading any of this, that might change...

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  7. I, too, am glad you had such a good trip, Julia! And, all seems well with TTWD so that is great.

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  8. Glad you had a successful first camping trip! You two really seem to complement each other...you can tell when he needs you to step up and he does the same for you.

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    1. Thank you Tess. That is certainly one way of looking at it. He was very uncomfortable with it though. And just thinking back on his depression, he can't believe how he behaved sometimes. It is interesting to see how his medication and ttwd is changing him.

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  9. Your trip sounds great! And it's really neat that your DH needs ttwd as much as you do, sounds like you're definitely doing something right! But I agree with you on getting out of that paddle...those things are noooot fun!

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    1. Thanks Riley. And I guess we really are if he needs it as much as I do. These insights from you guys are just amazing! Thank you!

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  10. I'm so happy you had a nice weekend and that you survived your first camping trip. I do think my guy enjoys and gets benefit from TTWD in ways that he never expected and just like we sometimes need a spanking to set things right, they need to give one to set themselves to rights. What we have asked them to do is a huge responsibility and maybe the spanking gives them a physical way to express that.

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    1. Zoe, exactly right. Sometimes he needs to spank me to feel in control again, to feel like the man again. I am okay with that. :D

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  11. LOL...I bet one swat with the paddle and you will completely remember. OUCH.

    But seriously, I find it very comforting when my disciplinarian gets something out of disciplining me. If it were all for my benefit, I would be uncomfortable. I think it's wonderful that yours is a two-way street. :)

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    1. I know right! DH was just too tired last night, and in the morning we always have our ears perked for the pitter pattern of little feet....

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  12. I never thought about ttwd as a tool used to reconnect them to us as well. Very thought inducing!
    Thanks for the comments on my blog I look forward to reading yours as well. ;)
    Fondly, Addy

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    1. Yeah for DH it certainly helps him reestablish his dominance!

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