Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Reassurance.

I am sitting here. Wednesday Morning, my cup of coffee for the day in front of me, almost gone. My butt cheeks a little tender, I have to say. And not from last night, but yesterday morning. I was with DH in the office, and he just told me to turn around and bend over. Short smacks over the pants. Later, we were getting dressed in the bedroom, little one in the living room, and he sees me lowering my pants. I see the glint in his eyes, and lean over the edge of the bed. New position. Stretching my butt cheeks more, making it that much more effective. He only hand spanked me, but there shouldn't be an 'only' in that sentence. As I said, I can still feel it.
Found online at http://www.moggit.com/2009_04_01_archive.html

My mother is coming tomorrow from Germany. I am excited! But also very anxious. My mom always makes me anxious. When I was younger, newly married to DH, I would even get really uncomfortable being in her home. Physically uncomfortable. Could have something to do with her then-husband, who was an inappropriate toucher, but I think it had more to do with her judging me, maybe? Maybe I thought she judged me for getting married at 18, and leaving the country. Could be. I don't know.

Our relationship is pretty established now though. She comes to visit at least once a year, stays for about two to three weeks, and we have a great time. She helps with cooking, laundry, and my yard. The kids, a little, not as much as I would like. She loves her granddaughters, but she always says "I have done my duty with you guys." Can't  really blame her for that. My moms husband killed himself a couple years back, he was an alcoholic. And she wasn't really that sad. She was and still is sad for the time she had with him when he wasn't drinking, but after he started, he never really stopped again. I have lived with an alcoholic and know the difficulties that come with it. I can't blame her for not missing him. When I was growing up, she had a few men, but mostly, she is a strong woman, who will rather do something herself than wait for a man to do it.
When DH was going through his depression, she would mentally shake her head at the things he would get pissed at. Don't get me wrong, some of the things DH did and said and felt while depressed, made me shake my head too, even roll my eyes. But I was still here for him. He is my husband, and I am here for him. The last time my mother saw us, DH was not taking any medication yet. He is a different person now. He is free, he is happy, more relaxed, and more balanced.
I guess I am a little anxious to see what she thinks, how she will react. Does that make sense?

Today is the last real day to get ready for her. I have to clean, change offices to make room. And of course, don't forget that doing ttwd might be tricky with her here. Our last guest from Germany stayed for three weeks, and it was at the beginning of our journey. DH pulled back, and I was left hanging. At least that is what it felt like. He was a little lost, couldn't reestablish our connection. Spanking has very quickly become a necessity for us. Even just the little ones help us come back together, connect us. And not just sexually. So I am a little worried.
On the other hand, DH has changed so much, and been such a rock for me lately, that I feel like I shouldn't even worry about it. I can rely on him to be here for me, no matter what.

And we do have a wood shed!

How do you guys deal with house guests and ttwd? Tips? Advice? Stories? Failures? Would love to hear anything to reassure me a little that doing ttwd is possible with somebody else in the house.

22 comments:

  1. Just try to relax and I am sure thinsg will go fine, of course I can never seem to relax in those situations so easier said than done.

    We have rsorted to going for a short drive, parking and spanking in the truck. those are actually some of the most intense spankings I have ever received. The wood shed is a good option.

    And yes, the hand is no joke. I always wonder howthey do that without reallu hurting their hand.

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    1. I know, just relax. It is the 'just' part! The short drive might work in our van. Mhhhh.

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  2. I wish I had somereally great advice butI just don't. We are too new to this to know anything. I hope your visit is simply wonderful

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    1. Thank you Kat! It usually is wonderful!

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  3. Julia, I, too, don't have any good advice to share, but wanted to wish you all the best for your Mother's visit. I guess ask DH to go to the Woodshed with you if you feel uptight! Hope you were able to get a lot done today and you feel ready for her to arrive. Hugs,

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    1. Thank you SNP! I am very excited to see her, speak German again, see my children happy with grandma delight...!

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  4. I understand spanking being so integral, we were quite that way as well! However, sometimes it wasn't possible, and there are other ways to submit that will put you in that place. They took a while for me to get used to, but now they're nearly on the same level as a spanking (mentally). Things like kneeling or laying in a vulnerable position will do it for me. I find those things require aftercare as well, so you get the reconnection. Hope that helps, good luck. And I hope you have a great visit with your mother.

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    1. Riley, thanks! I think we talked about those in email before and I have started doing some of that by myself without him noticing I think. Well, at least I will be able to tell you guys after....

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  5. My mom lives in a tiny apartment with us, for quite some time now, and for the next six months. It's... different. No more adult activities outside the bedroom, for one. No more subtle submission like sitting at his feet every single night to watch TV - though I do manage it once in a while.

    But as for what we do in our bedroom when the door is closed, she just minds her own business. We're adults and she's aware we have made our own choices and are deeply in love and that what goes on behind that door isn't any of her concern. If our bedrooms shared a wall though, I can see being far more self-conscious.

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    1. I think I knew that your mother lived with you. Read that somewhere on your blog. That must be very hard at times.

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  6. Just relax and enjoy your Mom's visit.

    You'll find a way to have some private time. Go for a ride, a large closet for spanking or like Julia said, writing lines, corner time etc. you'll figure it out.

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  7. I'm sure you'll figure it all out and be able to enjoy your mum visiting. The woodshed may be the answer :)

    Dee x

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  8. Good luck! Im sure u'll find the time to reconnect over the next few weeks. N trust ur man!

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    1. I am! I am leaning back and relaxing about it reading all your comments is making me realize that we will have a great time no matter what!

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  9. Ah, the spanking - it happens a lot when guests are in the shower or we meet up at the office. But, no matter how great your guests are, it is hard to stay on a rhythm - with anything in life, so I found that making sure we went to bed at the same time and took a few moments to share what had happened and to giggle a bit and to just be cozy together went a long way in keeping up very connected. So yes, there is probably less spanking, but the connection is the important thing to maintain. IMO.

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    1. OMG! Kitty, you are brilliant! I never considered guests taking a shower! That will totally work, even if just for a minute or two in the closet! Thanks!

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  10. Everything stops when we have house guests. The thing is they are usually unplanned guests. People that need a place to crash for awhile. Hopefully that phase is past. Wish you well with your visit and your relationship. Hope all works out and goes smoothly.

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    1. Well we have two kinds of visitors: One long planned from Germany and two, the unexpected, we-lost-our-house-friends who will be staying here starting July I think. I am not excited, but we know what it is like to not have money, so we try to help.

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  11. We have teenagers around all the time so we have been discussing alternate punishments here too. Grounding, writing lines or essays, corner or bedroom time are all things we have discussed. We've not done much of it yet but we probably will. Some people use creams like Ben Gay or capsaicin although we haven't tried either of those.

    Enjoy your mom and your visit. I hope you get to have lots of fun time with her.

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    1. Thanks Zoe! I am really excited!
      DH's children are young adults now, and come to stay every once in a while. But just for a few days if that long. Our kids are still pretty little and I am glad, we get to figure ttwd out now and hopefully have it well established by the time they are teenagers. We will see....:D

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