Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Sex in the WoodShed

I was 13 when I had sex for the first time. He was 15 and the love of my young life. We planned our entire lives together, how many kids we would have, and what we would name them. I was so in love with him, I would have probably married him at some point, but he left for a year in the US and came back and didn't want anything to do with me. Which probably let to me wanting to go to America and experience something like it too. But instead, I met DH.
Looking back at it now, I can tell we clicked right away, but the language barrier made it quite interesting difficult to communicate. DH didn't want to be with an 18 year old, and honestly, who can blame him? I mean how does that sound? How do you tell your parents, oh by the way, Julia is 18 and I am in love with her? So, in retrospect, I understand. But back then, I just went for what I wanted. I seduced him.
We had a lot of sex during our first few months, but I was never able to cum. I have never been able to cum during sex, not with my first boyfriend, the one-night-stand I had in high school,  or with DH. DH would try and try, but the more he made it his mission, the less likely it was going to be.

I know having sex that young had something to do with it, but I never really learned about it from anyone either. I didn't have a dad around to talk to. Or my mother for that matter. My mother is famous for avoiding things that are more difficult to talk about. I was very shy with boys, and about my body. My first boyfriend telling me that I would be the perfect girlfriend if I lost 20 lbs, didn't help either.
Fast forward to meeting DH, I had major self confident issues. I felt fat no matter what I looked like, and always wanted the lights out. DH told me he really wanted to see my ass, and I was so self conscious about it. I have a small butt, and I knew he was more of an ass man than a boobs man.

I think  I had sex too early and wasn't ready for something like that yet. Over the first three years, I had never learned to trust DH enough to tell him what I wanted sexually. I was too shy to say the things I wanted out loud, things that turned me on.
After I first daughter was born, having sex was very rare, and for some reason, we started having better sex, I even came once. Whoopee! Over the last seven years, we have come very far sexually. At least that is what I would say. We used to be fairly quiet during it, never talked, no dirty talk, no, "I like when you do that". But as I have become more confident in myself, I have become more comfortable telling DH what I like, and what I don't like.

On Saturday, after the spanking DH blogged about for me, I came, for the first time, while being fucked from behind but without touching myself. This is new territory for me. I have never been able to cum without at least touching myself while being fucked. But on Saturday, after the thorough spanking (very thorough, I have to say), DH wouldn't even let me get up. He just dropped his pants, and entered me. I was so wet and ready. My pants still around my upper thighs, I had no way to actually touch myself, but DH kept on going. Every once in a while I would open my eyes, and I could see his shadow on the floor. I could see how he was moving, I could see the shadow of his hand, while he was moving his hand up to grab my hair. He pulled, hard. "I want you to come for me. Cum on my cock." and he pulled my hair and pinched my nipple with the other hand through my shirt.
And I came.  A lot. I mean, holy fuck! Who knew I could cum like that? I had no idea.
After he pulled out of me, and helped me stand up again, I was suddenly so self conscious, and had a hard time looking him in the eyes. I was embarrassed. Now, two days later, I don't know why I felt that way, but at that moment, I felt like I had let him all in, see everything I am and have. I told him I was embarrassed (how is that for communication? I was so proud of myself for just saying it.), he grabbed my hands, spun me around, and held me for a long time.
As I sat in the car an hour later, I could still feel tremors in my stomach region. I leaned back into my seat, and breathed loudly. "I have never been fucked like that before. I love you. You can give me a spanking anytime you know."
And all DH replied, was "I know."

21 comments:

  1. The door's open, yeah. Great sex is GREAT.

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  2. That's awesome! Hopefully you can get there that way more often.

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  3. Oh Julia. That was such a great post on so many levels... the emotional introspection, the sex...
    I loved it. And where are you? I'd imagined you were in the US...

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    1. I am in the US, but I came here from Germany. Thank you!

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  4. This is awesome.

    My husband and I started our relationship online, and talking about these things to him there came pretty easily - but once we were married and living together, and the words had to physically pass my lips, it was hard. It took several years for me to adjust enough to be comfortable telling him things again, too.

    And I know about being embarrassed, feeling like he can see straight into you too.

    I'm also proud of you! Go, Julia!

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    1. Hu! How fascinating to find out that you guys started online. DH and I chat all day long at work, and things are definitely easier to say there than standing in front of him sometimes.
      Thank you Conina!

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  5. WOW Julia. That is about all I can think to say. I am glad you had such a mind blowing expereince. Just happy for you and DH. Have a good night:)

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    1. WoW is all I could say on the drive after. Wow!

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  6. First, I hope someone smacks your first boyfriend for having said that...no girl should have to hear that.

    Second, I'm happy to hear about your fun time. It's scary to let go like that and I definitely know how it feels to be embarrassed after the fact. In the moment, I ask for the most outrageous things, and then, it's over, and I feel shy. But, I've found that the more I do something, the less embarrassed I'll feel after. I guess you'll just have to have more fun to see how it goes!

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    1. Thanks Riley. The more I think about my first relationship, the more I realize what an ass he was, or at least very selfish. I met him again years later with DH, and it was nice to see him, but as we talked we both noticed how young we had been. He didn't remember things that stand out for me, and vice versa!

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  7. Oh I totally know that embarrassed feeling. You're all caught up in it and not paying attention to what you're doing, but after it's over... that's why it's called intimacy :) Glad you had such a great time!

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    1. Yeah I guess you are right, that is why it is called intimacy and that is also why I could never imagine having a good time with one-night-stands.

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  8. Hmmm... Riley beat me to it - there are a lot of boys who seem to say those kinds of things, what's up with that?

    It really is interesting how the body works - such a mish mash of receptors and feelings - who knows what the correct cocktail (ha, pun!) is for orgasmic pleasure - I just know that when it works, it really works.

    Sounds fantastic!

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    1. Lol! You crack me up! Yeah, well the cocktail must have been just right! :D

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  9. Whoa, congrats on the breakthrough! I think it's so awesome how very far you two have come in your relationship. (no pun intended;)

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  10. I know from my own experience, that I've only ever been able to achieve this level of 'letting go' with Mitch. I wonder if loving our other halves the way we do, because of the level of trust we feel and because of the whole 'ttwd' thing, has something to do with it?
    Glad you had such a mind blowing time :)

    Dee x

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    1. Exactly, it really is amazing that I could let go like that. I am still amazed actually.
      And I do think that we have achieved this level of trust so far because of ttwd.

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  11. If you want your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (even if they're dating somebody else now) you have to watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Have your ex CRAWLING back to you...?

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