Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Sexy pictures

Since DH wrote my last post, and had a huge impact on my stats, I haven't been sure what to blog about. Yeah, I could blog about maintenance last night (awesome, very comforting), or I could write about our trip (awesome as expected), but I just don't know. I knew "How to spank your wife" would be popular, but is has catapulted itself to be my number five post within just three days. 
Although honestly I am pretty glad that he wrote the post, and hopefully helped some couples understand the dynamic a little better. He's the Boss got her first spanking because of DH's post. How awesome is that? 

So instead of trying to come up with something, I figured I would post some pictures!



I have the skirt, and the same stockings, even the bow. But maybe I should turn them around so the DH sees the bow when he has me turned around? Yes? No? Mhhh....














If she wore white underwear, this picture would be perfect! Well at least for DH. I actually like black more, but have way more white now than black in my drawer....





And while this looks and almost feels familiar, DH can never not lift my skirt up. Usually he just spanks me a few times over the skirt before he proceeds to lift it up to peek underneath to check if I followed his instructions....

Sunday, September 23, 2012

How to spank your wife

Hi, DH here!  I told Julia I had an idea for a blog post about how to give a spanking, and she asked me to actually write it!  What follows is my best attempt.



My beautiful wife and I have been practicing ttwd for the better part of a year now. Our understanding of what 'that thing we do' means has changed dramatically over time.  In the beginning, it was just me spanking her, usually after she asked for it repeatedly, and then finding out that the spanking wasn't long enough afterward.  Things have changed.  Just a couple of days ago, I felt myself start to melt down under the stress of working at home with a flaky VPN connection, getting ready to leave early to see my oldest daughter safely on campus, and some critical tasks at work that were hanging over my head.  I turned to Julia and told her I felt like I was 'jumping the rails.'

Julia: You're not jumping the rails, though.
Me: I know, but I am so frustrated!  Nothing is working!
Julia: I understand. What do you want to do?
Me: I... I want to give you a spanking!
Julia: OK.  You are the head of the house.  Why don't you?
Me:  Yeah, that's right!  Why don't I?

I bent her over our bed right there, and started spanking her as hard as I could though her jeans.  She started whimpering right away -- I really let her have it.  After about 20 swats, my hand hurt so badly I had to switch sides, and then started spanking her just as hard with my other hand.  With every muffled swat, I could feel my rational mind returning.  Even before we were done, I had figured out a plan for solving my problems.  That spanking made the difference between having a horrible, frustrating, failure of a day, and what it actually was: one of our best days ever.

The person who really benefited the most from the spanking?  Me.

We've both experimented. Julia used to make me work a little to get her to submit to a spanking, but noticed that I respond better when she offers her submission instead.  This has changed the dynamic between us and strengthened our trust.  We've experimented with rules, but I give her a spanking at least once a week, no matter what. I am constantly asking her how she feels, and I read her blog to find out what her perceptions are after a spanking.  I've learned a lot that way!

To be honest, Julia started us on this journey.  She read about it on TakenInHand, and thought it would be a good direction for us.  She was basically wearing the pants in our relationship at that time, and was really tired of doing all of the heavy lifting.  Looking back, I believe that many men have been unmanned by the feminism movement, to the point of disengaging with relationships because we just don't understand what women WANT anymore.  In my case, I'd also lost my job in the recession and my confidence as well.  When she started pointing me at TakenInHand articles after we had the 'spanking talk' I started to realize the potential implications if we tried this in our marriage: what if one of us decided we didn't want to anymore?  What if I actually hurt her and she didn't trust me anymore?  What if I could never 'do it right?'  

What if tryng ttwd ruined our marriage?

But I liked it.  She liked it.  I'm unbalancing my laptop on my lap just typing about it.  We talked about various scenarios, about how we would talk about how we felt at each step along the way.  I promised her that if we tried it, I would always go slowly, no matter what.  We realized an essential, permanent truth: once we started on this path, we wouldn't be going back.
So this is my little guide for seekers of information about giving your wife a spanking.  I'm writing this with the first-time spanking couple in mind, but I also hope that most of these steps apply to every spanking.

1. Take her in hand.  When it's time for a spanking, gently take her by the hand and lead her to your spanking place.  Tell her it's time for a spanking to help her get ready.  Be firm, but friendly.  Strong, but kind.  Patient, but absolutely unwilling to back down once you establish that this event, this spanking, is on.  I tell Julia to go get ready for her spanking, which can mean a particular pair of panties, or sometimes her whole outfit.  I tell her to get a particular implement, and put it within easy reach.  I like to have her wait for me by standing by our bed so that she has time to think about the spanking coming up.    

2. Discuss safety.  Let her have a 'safe' word, or some other way to tell you to stop for real if she's having a serious problem.  Like everything else I've experienced in ttwd, the safety talk works for you AND her: it reminds you that her safety is important, and that you have her trust to keep her safe. 

3. Go slowly, always.  Agree with her that it's OK to have a light spanking that doesn't do much, especially when trying a new implement.  Most guys aren't born knowing how to spank, so my advice is to freely admit that you don't know what you're doing right away, and try to set expectations accordingly. Our first spanking was nothing more than some light slaps on her ass that really didn't amount to much.  I take the same approach with each new implement we try.  The truth is that I don't want to hurt her, and at the same time, I want to find out where her limit is for the spanking.  The only way to do that is to take a slow approach and give yourself plenty of time DURING the spanking to figure it out.  There's nothing wrong with stopping and just caressing her with your hand (or the implement you happen to be using at the time) until you start up again.

4. Talk to her while you're spanking.  I love to lecture Julia about why I'm spanking her, even if she's not in trouble.  I tell her about how much more confident I am at work, or how much I love the shape of her ass as I'm spanking it.  I tell her when I'm switching implements so she has time to get ready for the feel of the paddle when I bring it out.  Sometimes I have her count the swats when I'm spanking her hard across both cheeks.  On a few occaisions, it's been necessary for me to lecture Julia about rules she's broken, which is the only time I will require her to answer me during a spanking.

5. Always (always!) follow through.  Until recently, I have been really bad with this.  Julia has been very frustrated on more than one day, where I promised her a spanking earlier in the day, and then failed to deliver.  Not cool!  For us, I think the best method is not saying anything about an upcoming spanking until I tell her to get ready for it.  I can't always guarantee that I'll have enough energy at the end of the day to make good on a promise I made in the younger, fresher part of the day.  

6. Don't spank angry.  Or, don't spank her angrily.  Even if she's broken a critical rule (one of ours is that Julia may not leave the house without her phone), I am committed to letting the spanking do the work of correction for both of us, without needing to yell at her, or punish her in some other way.  The spanking itself is the way we hold each other accountable.

7. Dominate her.  I used to make the mistake of asking Julia if she wanted a spanking.  Looking back it seems silly, almost like me asking her if I could go to the bathroom.  It's not her decision!  If there's going to be a spanking, I'm going to be the one giving it out, and I'll be deciding how, when, and where.  I will gently lead her to the time, place, and method, and administer the spanking.  In one of our recent spankings, I had her turn around and bend over to show me her thong.  I let her stand there, bent over, so I could enjoy the view, while I lightly played with her ass.  

8. Warm her up, and cool her down.  This is really a style issue, but it could be useful to beginners.  My spankings are typically 3 parts: warmup, which I perform with my hand over her panties, and then on her bare skin.  When her ass is glowing red, I switch to an implement (like our favorite leather paddle), and spank her with that.  I like to vary the tempo to keep her guessing about when the next strike will come, and also give her a little time to recover.  I finish every spanking with my hand again, which is the 'cool down' phase.

9. Express your love for her after the spanking.  We usually end up making love after a spanking, which lets me continue dominating her.  She's been able to have multiple orgasms after we started ttwd, and I think the spanking heightens her sexual experience.  I always hold her and make sure she knows I love her after spanking her.

10. Listen and learn.  Listen to what she says during a spanking, and after.  Let her give feedback on the implements you use, but make the final decisions on what you actually use ;) .  Let her speak 'out of character' once in a while so you can have a frank discussion about where you really are.  Julia and I love this part of our relationship, where we can step out these roles and talk about what we're doing.  After all, we chose to pursue this lifestyle.

What do you think?  What other things should be on this list?  How does a man successfully spank his wife? 

Friday, September 21, 2012

Happy Friday!

DH's daughter left for college this week, but DH was discouraged by his exwife to come, because she had always envisioned this as a "mother-daughter" kind of thing. Being the nice guy that he is, he decided we would go a day later (its a 2 hour drive) and say our goodbyes there. We want to leave kind of early to get there in time, but DH has to work for a few hours first. Only, his connection keeps dropping, and he is generally in an anxious mood. So when yet another thing wasn't working this morning, he started to get frazzled, and started to loose his cool, very quickly. But thanks to our improved communication skills (at least that is what I think :)), he was able to identify this emotion, turned to me and told me what was going on.  
Before his depression medication kicked in, this would have been my cue to get started. To step up, take over, organize everything, and keep us going. But doing what we do now, I didn't want to do that. I thought I     could try and support him coming to his own decisions. 
"Well, what do you feel like doing instead of dealing with all this crap?" I asked him.
"I want to spank you...." And I looked at him, like, and...what-is-stopping-you-kind-of-way?
"You are right." And he turned me around, and bend me over the bed. 
He really started to spank me, hard swats, just with his hand. After about 20, he stopped because his hand seemed to hurt, and switched sides, and continued in the same manner. I tried to be quit, to not make a sound. I thought that would have distracted him from what he needed to do. It really hurt. I don't think he has ever spanked me that hard in such a short time. I whimpered, biting my lips, and he softened, spanked me a few more times, softer, and stopped. He pulled me up, and held me. He looked me in the eyes, I looked at him, blushed and turned away. He held me for like two minutes, and went to fix his problems.

This is how our relationship has changed since we started ttwd. Before, I would have taken charge. DH would have done what I said, but retreated into himself, and we probably wouldn't have said much for the rest of the day. We would have had a horrible drive to his daughters college, lots of silence. Our children were always quiet when we didn't speak in the past and so the car would be mostly silent.
I am so grateful for having found out about this type of relationship. When I first found it, I wasn't sure that could actually be achieved and not just read about on the internet. But the more I read on the Taken in Hand website, the more I realized that people actually live this way, change their lives and relationships to live this way. And once I realized that, I had to tell DH, and see what he thought. He kind of agreed, but spent months waiting, seeing if that is what I really wanted, asking me questions. Tentatively,  he started to accept that this really could be what I wanted.
Today, this morning, was really a turning point for us I think: My butt still hurts, I had never felt my cheeks glowing hot through my jeans before, and I am smiling. I am excited for us, to see where this will take us next! And for our trip!

Have a great weekend everybody!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Kirk or Picard?

Ten years ago, DH came home from work. I was alone in the house, his kids weren't there, I wasn't allowed to work in the US yet, and spent a lot of time watching TV.
"Why are you watching that?"
I turn to the TV, see Picard standing on the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise. I look at him, a little embarrassed.
"Um, well I ....."
"You like it?" Duh, I wouldn't watch it otherwise.
"Yeah sure, I grew up watching this. And it is kind of cool to watch it with the actual voices of the actors."
"I can't believe you are watching this." Wow, okay, at this point I am almost embarrassed. I mean really? Do you have to make a girl feel bad for loving Star Trek? DH turned away from the TV, toward me, sat down, and never got up again.
As it turns out, he was mostly speechless because he loves Star Trek, the original, and TNG, although he did lose interest with the other ones. I did too. So ever since, Star Trek is a must in our house.
This past Saturday morning, I was still lying in bed. There was no need to get up yet. DH had set the girls up with some cartoons, and he was sitting on the side of the bed, drinking his coffee. We got to talking, about his work, the home life, the kids, and ttwd.
Recently, DH updated/upgraded his work attire, and looks really hot. I mean, how in the world am I married to the hottest guy out there? Too bad he leaves every morning and I don't get to see him all day....
Our conversation was getting more intimate: nobody could overhear, and it seemed to be just us. We were in a world of our own. He told me about how his upgrade in clothing has made him feel more confident, to which I replied "I bet, you look hot! I especially love the belt, I keep looking at the belt, and imagining things." Oops, that is what happens when I talk before having coffee. Usually I am not that open, takes me longer to reveal something like that.
DH lifted one eyebrow like he does, "Yeah? What do you think about when you look at the belt?"
Mind as well tell him, right? I told him that I think about him coming home from work, the kids are at a sleepover, and he is displeased with me for some reason. He takes off his belt, has me lean over the table, and spanks me. Hard.

This of course led to us to figuring out why he would be spanking me.
"Why would I spank you though? Is it like role play? Am I the boss and you the secretary? Or teacher?" So I told him that in my fantasy, I think of me as not having finished something that I was supposed to. Like my homework. So no role play really. The real thing. I think he had to work on that for a bit.
We switched conversation to something light-hearted, giving him time to figure out what he thought about it. We got to Star Trek, like we usually do at some point during  a conversation, and he said:

"So you see me as a Kirk? Kind of alpha, all there, loud, impulsive." Mh, I had watched a few of the originals but by no means all of them.



"Because I see myself more as a Picard. Quiet, considerate, thoughtful, not impulsive." And I told him that Picard never has any women though. He doesn't really have a woman, but DH said "Exactly. You don't see that part." Which is true. But.
"If Picard had a woman, I see him as a strong leader. He wouldn't want anything to happen to his woman. He would be her leader, have expectations for her, set guidelines, and if she is out of line or did something that could harm herself or the crew on the ship, I see him as taking her to his quarters, and spanking her. Hard. To make sure she doesn't do anything to hurt herself or endanger anyone on his ship."


Monday, September 17, 2012

BFF and TTWD

I just talked to my oldest and best friend who lives in Germany. We have been friends since we were three. We were neighbors for years, lost touch, my sister ran into her and told her where I am, gave her my address, and we wrote letters. Then emails. Phone. Now she comes and visits me at least once a year and is the godmother of my children.
Over our busy summer, I didn't have time to talk to her. We like to talk to each other for hours, and I just didn't have the time, plus the time difference, to talk to her this summer. So we finally spoke today, and I was a little sad, I have to admit.
"What's new with you? How are you? How is your life?" Well, I want to tell her about DH and I. About how our relationship is just so amazing. How we continuously work on our relationship and keep bringing it to the next level. I want to tell her how amazing our sex is, after all, girlfriends talk about this, right? But I can't. I am not even sure I would want to tell her that I am spanked by my husband. How it makes me feel. I don't think she would understand. 

So I am feeling a little alone today. Which is wrong. We had the best weekend ever last weekend. We had a very focused on us weekend, lots of spanking, talking, intimate talking, fantasies, sex, and even family time. The outfit came out. I grew the courage to put it on without him asking for it, and surprised him. Blow jobs (oh yeah, plural). Piggy tails. He loves those. And the pearl on top of that weekend was me riding DH last night and cuming like that for the first time ever. Just amazing. But I can't tell anyone. I can blog about it, and I love the community here, I really do, but sometimes it is just not the same. 



So cheer me up! Leave me a comment with the best thing that happened to you this weekend!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Lily Allen at her best


I just love some of her songs! DH just said: It's just such an offensive little song....

Friday, September 14, 2012

Organizing around spankings?

Everybody is talking about rituals, which is making me think about DH and my rituals. I think rituals are a way to organize. I love to organize. Give me a messy closet and I will make sense of it within a few hours. I love it. So I tend to organize other parts of my life too. Doing my homework for school for example. I have certain things I do on certain days, which allows me free time when I need it, like on weekends. I organize my kids' schedule. I have always done it, I always read how important it is for children to have  a set schedule, so I did, and now I couldn't deal with it otherwise. I always make pizza on Fridays because it signifies the weekend for us. (Yeah for Fridays!) I started doing it when DH was still  working through his depression (not as much working through as much as being really down there), and that glimmer of pizza and movie with us at the end of his week always helped him through it and it stuck.
DH has rituals when he gets home, he goes into the bedroom, changes his clothes, and generally needs to be left alone for a few minutes. He will come out when he is ready.
We have rituals going to bed, rituals for having sex, and some rituals for spankings. Although we started this less than a year ago, we are still working on it. Especially with the circus in the house. I think we are still finding our footing again. Not quite there yet.
For example, maintenance has been moved to Saturdays from Sundays. It works, although for whatever reason, I don't like it as much. But as long as it does happen, I am not going to complain. For maintenance, he usually has me take a shower, and either he tells me to get in the outfit or not. He does change it around depending on his mood, I guess. Maintenance usually occurs with some kind of touching on his part, whereas  'punishments' (we have had one so far, good girl, right?) is me leaning my elbows on something and bending over. He doesn't hold or touch me for that. Which is how I feel the difference.
I think rituals are very important. They help me stay focused, organized, in control because I know what to expect. Although I wish we had been doing more of maintenance lately. I hope we settle into our routine for the school year again soon.

I hope everybody has a great weekend!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

When e-mails get lost

Here I was, all ready to write about the email Elysia wrote to me after commenting on this post. I have my coffee standing next to me, door closed, no children in the house. I open my email client, and poof, not there anymore. As you can tell, I am having some email issues. I have it set up that all my gmail mail gets send to my Windows Live Mail, which is great, but I have noticed, email seems to disappear out of it, and not even gmail has it anymore. I am sure I just have a setting wrong, but yeah, so much for that.

Well I will try to write from memory, we will see how well that goes.
Elysia had left me a really nice and long comment on the post Dirty Rotten Scoundrel (I love you DH!), if I had to use one word to describe what she was talking about, it would be 'communication'. Communicating with one's other half is so important. I like to think that DH and I have always had great communication going, but ttwd has definitely moved it to the next level. If I had to describe me, it would be shy, quiet, honest, organized, efficient, emotional, and if you want my opinion, you will get my opinion.
What happened last week was a failure to communicate effectively. I knew he was working on something important. But I also knew I had been asking DH to not promise me spankapades unless he is sure. Well he did promise me, and in fact came home early to make up for being gone a lot. Really sweet right? Well he was a bit, how should I put it? Pissy. Yeah lets go with Pissy, really really pissy! And to top it all off, he had to log into work again. This generally doesn't bother me. I can handle it. We have been in the situation where he didn't have work, hence we didn't have an income, therefore, if my man has to work, I try to not make him feel bad for that. But DH was feeling guilty about having to work. And usually, not always, when DH feels guilty about things like that, he acts very defensively, and gets pissier. (Just made that a word...:D)
Elysia was pointing out that it was a failure to communicate that led to me feeling very disappointed and even led down. DH should have recognized that he had a re-shuffling of priorities, and should have taken the five minutes to tell me instead of feeling guilty. I think he should have stood tall and told me what was going on, instead of feeling guilty. This would have probably ended up making me a little mad/disappointed, but not seething like I was that night.

I am sorry Elysia, I really did lose the emails. I have been having this problem lately. And for somebody who is as organized as I am, that is pretty bad.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Making up for lost time

As it turned out, DH hadn't actually read my blog in a while because he had been too busy with work. We chatted via email all throughout the day, and I warned him to read it in order if he got bored on the train home.
I was pretty excited for this weekend. Even though I knew there might be no spankapades. To get ready, I straightened my hair (don't do that a lot because I don't want to damage my hair too much), put on a skirt and a new shirt. His favorite underwear. I stood by the train tracks with our children, waiting. He finally gets off the train, and looks a little bit like a deer that was finally tracked down and is ready for slaughtering. Mh, that was not the look I was going for. I was going for: I missed you, and I understand why this happened. But apparently he didn't see me that way.
It is kind of hard to talk about personal stuff though with the kids in the car. Don't get me wrong, my children are awesome in the car, usually very quiet, as they were that day, but quiet just means they listen. To everything.
We went and picked up his daughter and she babysat while we went out to dinner by ourselves. What a treat, and much needed retreat to talk.
He understood where I was coming from in my two posts. He was dissapointed in himself, and in the fact that he had to work. I know that. I know he would rather be with me than work. But I did ask him to please just either not announce something or to tell me if things change. I understand. I can handle it. I may be dissapointed but not like I was on Friday morning.
On Sunday, DH had had enough though. Of situations keeping him from doing what he wanted. Kids everywhere. His children up all night. He sent the big kids away with the young, locked our door, and was finally mine.
He had me bend over the bed, and really let me have it. After, he crawled up on the bed, and had me lay over his lap, this time, first time ever, the other way around. He is left-handed. I am not sure why we never did that before. Or if I want it to happen again. Lets just say that his left hand is much more precise, accurate, and stronger that his right hand. He spanked me not just because I wanted it, but because he needed it. Spanking me seems to refuel him, center him. Taking charge over me makes him so sexy. Manly. Hot.
When he let me up, I was disoriented. But being a helpful guy, he steered me down, and held on to my head while I started admiring his cock. I mean, his cock is big. Big, hard, and oh so soft. I love that first moment right before I taste him. The velvety  feeling of him in my mouth.

It was unbelievable. Really. It was the kind of sex we usually only have at night because we know there won't be any kids. It was the kind of sex that ended up draining both of us so completely, not just physically but emotionally as well.

Last night, TUESDAY! FINALLY! My bottom is still a bit tender. He had to work again, but I asked him if he could at least sit with me while I watch TV. We did. I tried to leave him alone. No touching. Let him work, you know. But that can be hard. Finally, he sent me in the shower. After, he again, had me lie over his lap, and spanked me, thoroughly. With the leather paddle. After, I lay in his arms, his hand cradling  my warm cheeks, while I blissfully fell asleep.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

A day remembered.

Today is September 11. I keep thinking about this day in 2001. I was at work as a customer service phone person. I had to call people and ask if they were interested in receiving a free catalog. Some people were normal that day, but others would yell at me, asking me how I could ask this silly question, when WW III had started today. I was 17 years old. I don't know about you, but at 17, I had no clue of politics, let alone politics in a different country.
One year later, I arrived in the USA just a few days before the first anniversary of 9/11, everybody was tense, nobody knew what would happen, how flying would be. It was scary.

Over the last ten years I have learned that I came to this country after it had changed. 9/11 changed America, made it more vulnerable. People didn't feel so confident anymore. Security at airports doubled every year. But the economy changed too. I came to this country at the height of the economy I think. House prices were high, DH had a great job, great benefits, great pay. And I think of 9/11 as a start to the downfall that we are working ourselves out of now. And by we, I mean DH and I, but also the American people. 

Here is to America, my home. I am sad I never got the know the country before 9/11. From all I have heard it must have been amazing. I hope this country can get back to it. Taking care of its people. Making sure everybody who wants a job, can get a good job. Pay off debt. Nationally, but also just at home. Debt is awful. I am trying to teach my kids, but also my step children how awful it is to have to pay banks back over and over. I know sometimes people have to make their own mistakes to learn from them, like DH and I are doing at the moment, but I hope to spare all our kids this lesson. It sucks.

Here is to all the people who have been affected by 9/11. To people who lost somebody that day, or any day after because of this day. To the people that helped that day. The firefighters responding to this act of terror.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

How do you spell Love?





So true! Just wanted to share that while there have been no maintenance in the physical sense, there has been lots of maintenance and most importantly reconnecting in the hugging-and-kissing-all-day-in-front-of-anyone-sense. I am so grateful for this personal thinking spot of mine and for all your comments. I love this place!

Friday, September 7, 2012

Dirty Rotten Scoundrel

Thanks for all the comments on my post yesterday. I didn't want to have to retype everything to answer all the comments like I usually do, but wanted to let you guys know how it went.

DH did come home early. But in a super bad mood, and to top it all off, I had waited with my shopping because I figured we could find him some new pants, since he finally had time, right? That wasn't that bad of an idea, or was it?  Well the store was a bust, DH hated every second in there, and I only got what I really needed to get the hell out of there. (Note to self - Don't ever go shopping with DH, ever!)
We got home, DH went into our bedroom, and watched Bill Clinton's speech, which finally made him feel better, and left him alone while I went to cook an awesome dinner.
After dinner, he was definitely feeling better, food always helps, doesn't it? We put the girls to bed, and hang out. I liked where this was going. I suggested I take a shower, and "get ready", whatever that means right?! Well I got out, all lotioned up, smelling good, shaven, and in general just ready for something. Anything. DH sat in his recliner, laptop on his lap, working. I bent over to retrieve something.
"Whoa, hello there!" Ahhh, cast the fishing line and I think I sank the hook.
Or not.
I waited for some kind of instructions.
Nothing.
I went to bed to watch TV, but stayed on the covers, well arranging myself so I was hiding some parts, but showing others. Enticing, right?
Nothing.
I picked his favorite shows to watch.
Yep, that worked, he enjoyed those.

Then, I found Dirty Rotten Scoundrels with Steve Martin and Michael Cain, DH loves this movie! I figured what a great way to lure him away from work and toward me, into bed.
Nothing.
And while nothing was going on, I was drifting into sleep, thinking he will wake me up any second.
Nope.
I woke up to the sound of my stepson coming home from work at midnight, listening to DH clicking and typing on the laptop.
Every click got me madder and madder. I mean, really? He did it again. He told me he would make time for us/me, I told him don't tell me unless you mean it, and then, NOTHING.
And no prospects in sight either. I am picking up my stepdaughter today, and DH and I might get a movie out of it, but sure as hell no sex or spanking.

That about sums it up. Happy Friday everybody.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

I enjoy a good spanking when I can get one

DH has been working almost nonstop. Over the long weekend, he actually went into work one day, and worked all day on Monday. So much for "Labor Day". I have been trying to not get all mean about it. I am glad he has work. We have been in the situation before where he did not have work, and we didn't have money, therefore, if he needs to work, I try to let him. I  know he would rather be with me having awesome spankapades, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.
Like this last week. We had awesome sex once, and lazy sex once I think. One spanking.  A good spanking, but its been a while now. I know I would definitely like one. Last night after dinner, which was late, because DH was late, DH announced he had to log in again, and I really tried to not make him feel guilty. I think I did a good job, encouraging him, being close to him anyway (usually I will sit close by and do something by myself) but last night, DH thought I was being distant. I wasn't. But you know, you can't really have it both ways, right?
So today, he said he would be coming home early, to be with us. Which is great, if it happens, but if it   doesn't, I haven't gotten excited yet anyway. There have been to many times now where he didn't get off work after all. But tonight is the night, he has already told me. But at this point, I don't want him to announce it in the morning and then I am excited all day, and then nothing happens. I would rather have him say something like: Hey there, get over here. Bend over. Like he did last time. Mhhh.
It went something like this:
I had just gotten out of the shower, put on my nightgown and asked: "Any preferences for underwear?"
"Yeah, the white thong." No big shocker there, he loves me in that one.
He sat down on the bed, "Come here, turn around, facing away from me."
Okay, that is new....
"Bend over."
I looked over my shoulder at him.
"Now!"
Okay okay, I did. He started stroking me, marveling at the sight I think. He lifted my nightgown up over my ass cheeks.
"Mh, perfect. I love this sight." And he just kept on talking. It was so sexy. I was really turned on. I love when he talks because he used to be so quiet during sex. Not anymore.
He guided me to lean over the bed, and went and retrieved the box, got the spoon, and  leather paddle out, and started spanking me.
DH has been trying to spank longer, so he will start slow, and go all the way, then stop, grab a different implement, and go as far as he thinks I need, and he will do this for a while.
So, as the time approaches to hopefully pick him up, I am  getting excited after all. I want to jump into the shower now, and get ready, but nope, I have to wait a while longer after all.......

To be continued! I hope.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Back to school

First day of school, which means I have the first moment to myself in a long time! I haven't done any homework, I watched TV, I ate blackberry cobbler and frozen yogurt for breakfast, and then washed it down with more breakfast. What a relaxing morning!

My youngest goes to a christian preschool for a few hours every day. This morning, all the parents were there of course. All parents seemed to be lingering, but my daughter was ready to begin her school day without parents, so I left. On the way out I talked to a father of a boy, saying how excited I was about some alone time. Nothing wrong with that. In my opinion. I know she is safe, happy, and with great people. So I know I don't have to feel guilty about being excited for some alone time, right? Well this father said:
"Yeah, you shouldn't feel too guilty."
Excuse me? Why should I feel guilty at all? I think I have a very healthy relationship with my daughters. I know I am raising both of my girls to be independent children, who can be without mommy or daddy holding their hands. Plus, I do really think there is nothing wrong with having some alone time. He is probably one of those people that has all his family within five miles to watch the kids for date night, or whatever. I don't. My family is very far away. DH family is very far away.
I have not had an hour to myself since June!
Here's to all those parents that love their children, and still maintain being their own person with needs, wants, and joys that have nothing to do with their children! Enjoy back to school!

That could have been me, but my kids actually all smiled too!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Change of Seasons

You know, sometimes I think our (DH and I) live together is too perfect, and I wait for the proverbial second shoe to drop. I know I shouldn't do that, its not healthy to constantly look for something bad to happen, but I can't help it. I worry. I even passed it on to my oldest daughter. She constantly worries about the cutest stuff, like what she should wear for school, or which book she should pick when we go on road trips. 
But I have to admit, after this summer, I feel like we really do deserve some quiet us time. By us I don't even mean just me and DH, but our children too. The constant guests in the house: I had my mother here, meanwhile our friends moved in, my mother left, then  my nephew arrived, my stepson moved in, and our friends left, and now my nephew is out of the picture too. Finally! It is mostly just us. And of course, DH has been working on one critical thing after another at work, working late hours all the time. Through almost all of it, we have been able to stay connected though, to have little moments here and there of just us time. 

This weekend, Labor Day weekend, signifies the end of summer, and it really does for me too. My children are returning to school this week, starting some activity in the afternoon, and I will have much more to myself again. I am a little worried I will have too much time on my hands, but is there ever such a thing? There are a lot of different things I want to try out. Which is kind of a new feeling for me. I have always been hesitant about my own accomplishments, rarely taking credit for anything. But lately, I feel more confident with who I am, with my likes, my opinions, and I feel like I value myself more. I think this is because of ttwd, this dynamic that seems so natural to us at this point. I ask his opinion, and he actually considers his answers because he knows I wouldn't ask otherwise, the way he treasures my feelings, the way he takes care of me, maintains our sexual relationship, and makes sure I get to cum whenever we have sex. And lately, I don't just cum once, but several times. 
http://www.nature-hd.com/autumn-colours-hd/
Image found at  http://www.nature-hd.com/autumn-colours-hd/

I am excited for this change of season. I feel like we really lived this summer, took advantage of it as much as it was possible. I am excited to see where this leads us in the fall. Happy Labor Day Weekend everybody. I hope you have a great long weekend with your loved ones!