Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Back to school

First day of school, which means I have the first moment to myself in a long time! I haven't done any homework, I watched TV, I ate blackberry cobbler and frozen yogurt for breakfast, and then washed it down with more breakfast. What a relaxing morning!

My youngest goes to a christian preschool for a few hours every day. This morning, all the parents were there of course. All parents seemed to be lingering, but my daughter was ready to begin her school day without parents, so I left. On the way out I talked to a father of a boy, saying how excited I was about some alone time. Nothing wrong with that. In my opinion. I know she is safe, happy, and with great people. So I know I don't have to feel guilty about being excited for some alone time, right? Well this father said:
"Yeah, you shouldn't feel too guilty."
Excuse me? Why should I feel guilty at all? I think I have a very healthy relationship with my daughters. I know I am raising both of my girls to be independent children, who can be without mommy or daddy holding their hands. Plus, I do really think there is nothing wrong with having some alone time. He is probably one of those people that has all his family within five miles to watch the kids for date night, or whatever. I don't. My family is very far away. DH family is very far away.
I have not had an hour to myself since June!
Here's to all those parents that love their children, and still maintain being their own person with needs, wants, and joys that have nothing to do with their children! Enjoy back to school!

That could have been me, but my kids actually all smiled too!

27 comments:

  1. I couldn't agree with you more, Julia. I think it's very healthy to have some time apart from your kids and there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying that time to the fullest! I always loved it when school started again, lol! Any parent who spent all summer with their kids knows exactly what you're talking about.

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    2. Yeah, except for that one guy! JK, well somewhat. But I do agree with you, it is healthy to be apart, makes you wish you were together again!

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    3. Yeah, but I doubt that guy was home with his kids all day every day!

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  2. We all have our own way of living and raising our kids. Here is to alone time!!

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  3. Totally agree Julia! I've got 3 all at school, and I have to say, having that 'me' time helps my sanity and no, I'm not ashamed to admit that either. I actually feel I am a better parent for having that 'free' time. I'd like to say I'm one of these 'earth mothers', but I'm not. My girls are lovely, but they can be hard work and I truly believe that they also benefit from 'their' time for a few reasons too!
    There...... can you tell I feel strongly on this subject lol?

    Dee x

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    1. Yes, I know, right? I mean having kids around all the time is exhausting, and I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting some me time. And yes, I can tell you and I feel pretty much the same about this!

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  4. You definitely deserve some you-time...especially after the full house this summer! My oldest had a hard time saying goodbye, as did I, but I know when it's my daughter's turn she's going to hit the ground running and not look back. I am so glad I have a few years to prepare my heart for that!!

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    1. Thank you Tess! I had a hard time with my oldest, but this year, I was just so happy for them to be this happy about returning to school. Makes me a proud mama! And it does get easier, the letting go part...

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  5. My husband just got mad at me for wanting some alone time. I do not want to give the kids away I just want to pee by myself.

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    1. Yeah, DH used to be like that, but I think I left him alone with them for a day once, and he got over it. Can you even imagine how long it would take a guy to pee when there were constantly little ones coming in to check?

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  6. As a mother of three, my youngest in high school, I can say with some confidence it is all roots and wings.
    You give them deep, sensible, strong roots so that you can relax when they start to fly.
    Julia, you can sit back and enjoy your little bit of free time because you know you have done a good job, you feel confident.

    I cried when my kids went to Kindergarten, but not because I felt guilty, but because it was the end of an precious era.

    Guilt comes from a sense of failure, I think and has nothing to do with feelings of sadness.
    Your feelings of satisfaction, my dear, are from a job well done. :) Enjoy that frozen cobbler! :)

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    1. Thank you so much for saying this Lillie! I really do feel like I am doing a pretty good job with my children!

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  7. It sounds like you are off to a great start! There is one dad at my son's school who is also passive aggressive, so I have learned to ignore him. His son got held back last year, and I was glad to have him move on. (but felt bad for the kid!)

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    1. Yeah, I actually talked to this one before and he seemed pretty nice, but like Cowgirl Up said, I doubt he is home with them all day!

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  8. Hope it is a good school year for all of you. Enjoy your time. My boss has always said she is a better Mom being away from her kids during the day and so there has to be a healthy balance with it all.

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    1. Yeah I agree, a healthy balance is a must. And I think some mothers are just not meant to stay home either, although I enjoy it most of the time! :D

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  9. Balance is what we all need. My mom used to say, be sure you take care of yourself, you'll be a better mom!
    abby

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  10. Here, here! Alone time isso important! Enjoy yours.

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  11. I may be off-base here, but I wonder if this guy wasn't even thinking about what he said? Maybe "you shouldn't feel too guilty" didn't implicitly mean "but you should feel a little guilty" and instead meant "I don't know what to say, so I'll just sort of agree with her without committing myself too much." Or maybe he was agreeing with you and that's just how it came out.

    I can see how it would make you feel bad, but...if you didn't feel at all guilty taking time alone as a very busy mother, would some random guy's offhand comment matter that much? I always try to remind myself of this when someone's offhand comment (telling me to be grateful, for example...I think what the heck does that mean?? that I don't deserve it?) hurts a lot more than the person intended.

    Sometimes people are just clumsy conversationalists.

    Hugs.

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    1. Yeah, I see your point, but he is one of those loud guys that feels comfy talking to all the moms around. Maybe he didn't mean it that way, but it certainly sounded like it because of the way he emphasized 'too'...

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    2. Ah, I see. He was being patronizing.

      You could always say something like, "Well, you shouldn't feel too unmanly taking your son to school."

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  12. LOL, love your breakfast! You most definitely deserve some time for yourself. You have had the summer of all summers. Don't let any passing yahoo tell you what is best for your kids. You know it in your heart and are doing what you two want for them. That's what matters.

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    1. Thank you Susie! You just put a big cheesy smile on my face!

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