Friday, September 7, 2012

Dirty Rotten Scoundrel

Thanks for all the comments on my post yesterday. I didn't want to have to retype everything to answer all the comments like I usually do, but wanted to let you guys know how it went.

DH did come home early. But in a super bad mood, and to top it all off, I had waited with my shopping because I figured we could find him some new pants, since he finally had time, right? That wasn't that bad of an idea, or was it?  Well the store was a bust, DH hated every second in there, and I only got what I really needed to get the hell out of there. (Note to self - Don't ever go shopping with DH, ever!)
We got home, DH went into our bedroom, and watched Bill Clinton's speech, which finally made him feel better, and left him alone while I went to cook an awesome dinner.
After dinner, he was definitely feeling better, food always helps, doesn't it? We put the girls to bed, and hang out. I liked where this was going. I suggested I take a shower, and "get ready", whatever that means right?! Well I got out, all lotioned up, smelling good, shaven, and in general just ready for something. Anything. DH sat in his recliner, laptop on his lap, working. I bent over to retrieve something.
"Whoa, hello there!" Ahhh, cast the fishing line and I think I sank the hook.
Or not.
I waited for some kind of instructions.
Nothing.
I went to bed to watch TV, but stayed on the covers, well arranging myself so I was hiding some parts, but showing others. Enticing, right?
Nothing.
I picked his favorite shows to watch.
Yep, that worked, he enjoyed those.

Then, I found Dirty Rotten Scoundrels with Steve Martin and Michael Cain, DH loves this movie! I figured what a great way to lure him away from work and toward me, into bed.
Nothing.
And while nothing was going on, I was drifting into sleep, thinking he will wake me up any second.
Nope.
I woke up to the sound of my stepson coming home from work at midnight, listening to DH clicking and typing on the laptop.
Every click got me madder and madder. I mean, really? He did it again. He told me he would make time for us/me, I told him don't tell me unless you mean it, and then, NOTHING.
And no prospects in sight either. I am picking up my stepdaughter today, and DH and I might get a movie out of it, but sure as hell no sex or spanking.

That about sums it up. Happy Friday everybody.

33 comments:

  1. I can feel your silent frustrated scream!!! To have to wait that long yet *again* is horrible. Sometimes the people we love are exceptionally dense. (I don't mean disrespect to your DH.) I hope that you can have a talk and that this business of making and not keeping promises can come to a stop.

    *hugs*

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    1. Yeah, I was definitely screaming on the inside! :D

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  2. That is my problem with maintenance. I love it, Ian style. But Ian is completely in control of when and if it happens. Punishments that I don't want are available based on need. Not fair. I want the closeness, not the spanking.
    Same thing here, I think, Julia. It is all up to DH and it is frustrating.
    I also send a big hug and a wish for time for you and your HoH.

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    1. Thank you Lillie, it really is frustrating, especially because I know how busy he is, and still...

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  3. Oh how frustrating, I'm so sorry.

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  4. I feel your frustration. Sorry things didn't work out. Maybe tomorrow because today sounds like a bust too.

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    1. Yeah, not going to happen now until at least Tuesday.

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  5. I'm sorry it didn't work out, Julia. Disappointment really blows!

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    1. Yeah it does. But I am grateful for being able to reconnect in different ways in the mean time!

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  6. Remember my post? Oh do I hear you! Frustration personified!

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  7. That sucks! Sorry it didn't work out, your comment on my blog makes more sense now... I hope Tuesday goes better.

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  8. Tuesday will be here before you know it. Hang in there.

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    1. I agree. Meanwhile we can work on reconnecting in other ways.

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  9. Ugh. so sorry. I also avoid shopping with my husband-- so painful. Erg. I hope you get what you crave soon!!

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    1. Actually, DH has apologized for that and asked me to go looking clothes shopping for him this weekend again. :D

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  10. We also watched Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. That is a hilarious movie. (What else can I add - cold here still too.)

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    1. Yeah I love that movie, it is just too funny!

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  11. oh no... i'm feeling your frustration! Hope things get better!!

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  12. That is really frustrating. Expectations are really difficult to handle sometimes. I hope things go much better this weekend.

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  13. Ready, willing and waiting, eh?
    Been there, done that.
    Perhaps you can have a talk, like I did with H.
    You see, there a number of things you need to clarify here. Did he set an expectation and then change his mind? Is he aware that you made great effort to please him, and you were hoping to connect and were disappointed that it didn't happen (again)? I'm suggesting that you ask *him* these Q s btw.
    Being submissive (this is my opinion, and how it works for me) is that I do my best to follow his lead. But it's also my job to ask for clarification, if I feel that I don't understand where he is leading, or what exactly that he wants me to do. How can I do *my part* when I don't know what my part is. I think it's the Dom/Top/HOH's job to do that. If a sub doesn't understand, she needs to change that.
    The other part is, that you have feelings. Does he understand those feelings? Does he want to know your feelings? (my guess is yes, but it helps to ask in a respectful way. You know, sans sarcasm and anger.- so hard to do. Take it from someone who's been there.) *Help* him to understand *you*.
    The last thing I want to say is harder for me to share with you. I don't want to be critical, and yet you may not see something that I think is important for you to realize.
    I can be the most sensitive gal in the world, and the last thing I want to do is hurt someone's feelings.
    So, I will ask that you read this and if you'd like to know the last part, just reply here that it's OK. Or you can send me an e-mail and I'll share in private.
    I know that I sound like a broken record (and I'm not the only one around here who says the same thing) but you really need to talk to him about this, or the same pattern is going to happen over and over again.
    Believe me when I tell you, I hope that it doesn't. Disappointment stinks big time! Been there! :-)

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    1. Elysia,
      honestly you made me a little scared now for the third part, but send me an email!
      DH has been very busy at work, too busy, too involved. When he gets like that he gets sucked into it, and he told me last night that he didn't even really see me that night, because he was 'at work'.
      I had followed his lead that night, because he had told me earlier that day what would happen. I think he didn't lead. I think he was stuck at work, and just wasn't really here.
      DH was dissapointed in himself, but at the same time, he has told me he is not sure that if he could go back, that he would have been able to put the laptop down.

      I could have communicated better. I could have been in a better submissive place, and sat at his feet for example. Wasn't all his fault this happened.
      Thank you so much for the comment, it really means a lot to me.

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    2. Goodness! Didn't mean to scare you! I'm just outspoken sometimes. I only want you to know that when I say something quite frankly, it isn't meant to hurt your feelings but rather to help you see a piece of the puzzle that you may not be seeing. Or it's also quite possible that I'm not seeing something. So I will send you an e-mail, and you can tell me to mind my own business- if you'd like. ;-)
      Oh, and I can't tell you the number of times that my husband has told me all day that he wants to do X and then comes home and has to work. This happens a lot lately, and I think I've gotten better at sparing myself the disappointment.
      Now if you are OK with what I say, you may want to share with the other commenters. B/c now they're probably dying to know! lol

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    3. darn it, we ARE dying to know. or at least, i am.

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    4. You know, I recently turned off moderation for my comments, and since then, comments come in and I don't see them. Sorry! I will post her emails to me tomorrow I promise!

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  14. Sorry about the disappointment-Life can get hectic and crazed and leave us feeling let down. Hang in!

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  15. Been there. I know exactly how you felt. It's those expectations again isn't it. Sorry Julia.

    Dee x

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