Friday, September 21, 2012

Happy Friday!

DH's daughter left for college this week, but DH was discouraged by his exwife to come, because she had always envisioned this as a "mother-daughter" kind of thing. Being the nice guy that he is, he decided we would go a day later (its a 2 hour drive) and say our goodbyes there. We want to leave kind of early to get there in time, but DH has to work for a few hours first. Only, his connection keeps dropping, and he is generally in an anxious mood. So when yet another thing wasn't working this morning, he started to get frazzled, and started to loose his cool, very quickly. But thanks to our improved communication skills (at least that is what I think :)), he was able to identify this emotion, turned to me and told me what was going on.  
Before his depression medication kicked in, this would have been my cue to get started. To step up, take over, organize everything, and keep us going. But doing what we do now, I didn't want to do that. I thought I     could try and support him coming to his own decisions. 
"Well, what do you feel like doing instead of dealing with all this crap?" I asked him.
"I want to spank you...." And I looked at him, like, and...what-is-stopping-you-kind-of-way?
"You are right." And he turned me around, and bend me over the bed. 
He really started to spank me, hard swats, just with his hand. After about 20, he stopped because his hand seemed to hurt, and switched sides, and continued in the same manner. I tried to be quit, to not make a sound. I thought that would have distracted him from what he needed to do. It really hurt. I don't think he has ever spanked me that hard in such a short time. I whimpered, biting my lips, and he softened, spanked me a few more times, softer, and stopped. He pulled me up, and held me. He looked me in the eyes, I looked at him, blushed and turned away. He held me for like two minutes, and went to fix his problems.

This is how our relationship has changed since we started ttwd. Before, I would have taken charge. DH would have done what I said, but retreated into himself, and we probably wouldn't have said much for the rest of the day. We would have had a horrible drive to his daughters college, lots of silence. Our children were always quiet when we didn't speak in the past and so the car would be mostly silent.
I am so grateful for having found out about this type of relationship. When I first found it, I wasn't sure that could actually be achieved and not just read about on the internet. But the more I read on the Taken in Hand website, the more I realized that people actually live this way, change their lives and relationships to live this way. And once I realized that, I had to tell DH, and see what he thought. He kind of agreed, but spent months waiting, seeing if that is what I really wanted, asking me questions. Tentatively,  he started to accept that this really could be what I wanted.
Today, this morning, was really a turning point for us I think: My butt still hurts, I had never felt my cheeks glowing hot through my jeans before, and I am smiling. I am excited for us, to see where this will take us next! And for our trip!

Have a great weekend everybody!

21 comments:

  1. Ah! I enjoyed reading this. You're both really finding your way. I also started with the taken in hand site, which led me here :)

    Dee x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't it amazing that so many of us found out about ttwd through taken in hand? I think its really awesome!

      Delete
  2. I've had hand spankings like that before too...like I could literally feel his frustration with each slap! Glad you BOTH felt better after:) Safe travels!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm happy it's working for you, Julia. Glad to know you're smiling too :) You have a wonderful weekend yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I am definitely enjoying mine. :D

      Delete
  4. Awww I'm excited for you, too! Isn't it a nice, taken care of, settled, feeling? Have a lovely weekend with your DH!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, very taken care of, I know where I belong.

      Delete
  5. Glad things are working for you. Hope the ride and the visit was as great as you expected. Enjoy the time. Have a good weekend and a safe trip.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IT was, DH was very relaxed, and very happy to see his daughter without the ex there. Who decided to come and see her daughter again right when we were supposed to be there. But we figured she might do that, and went early...:D

      Delete
  6. All the best Julia with your weekend and all the plans! The Taken In Hand Website is a good resource and I've read there often. As the others have said above...just so happy things are well for you and DH. Good for you guys!
    Enjoy the weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you SNP, that is a really nice thing to say and to hear. :)
      I love reading on the Taken in Hand sight, although I have to admit, I haven't since I started blogging. This seems more real, and I like actually following people, you know?

      Delete
  7. And here you weren't sure when you'd get another spanking! Happy Julia..

    ReplyDelete
  8. I don't know if it's my favorite but the frustration spank is cathartic for both of us. I urge it when I think the time is right.

    So nice to hear of the milestones in your journey :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had to look up the exact definition/translation for cathartic, because I wanted to get this right. "A release of emotional tension after an overwhelming vicarious experience, resulting in the purging or purification of the emotions". Which is just so perfect for this spanking because it really was. For him, and for me. And I guess I did urge it, trying to see what would happen, and this time it really just was amazing. So yes, very cathartic!

      Delete
  9. I've often wondered if BIKSS would benefit from such a spanking. I've asked him, but we've yet to experience such a one. i read the Taken in Hand website often too, that's what started this whole interest in the lifestyle in the first place.

    good to know things are working out so well for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How interesting that there are so many of us here because of the Taken in Hand site. Really like that!
      DH has needed to do it several times now, really only though when the situation allows, which has been difficult. But it sure was easier for him to get back again, quickly.

      Delete
  10. I started at the Taken in Hand website as well. From there I learned about DD, and now we do ttwd.

    Glad you guys are working your way though this in such a positive way! (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is exactly what we did. I had never even heard of DD before, then saw some christian dd, which wasn't for us, and landed at ttwd in the definition of Us!

      Delete
  11. Hi Julia,
    Ian just told me the other day what ttwd does for him. He admitted that it is a re-set for him as well - which really surprised me. Obviously there is therapeutic value in this for HoH's. You guys are growing in leaps and bounds.
    Lovely :) and ouch

    ReplyDelete

I love reading comments, and would love to hear from you!