Friday, September 14, 2012

Organizing around spankings?

Everybody is talking about rituals, which is making me think about DH and my rituals. I think rituals are a way to organize. I love to organize. Give me a messy closet and I will make sense of it within a few hours. I love it. So I tend to organize other parts of my life too. Doing my homework for school for example. I have certain things I do on certain days, which allows me free time when I need it, like on weekends. I organize my kids' schedule. I have always done it, I always read how important it is for children to have  a set schedule, so I did, and now I couldn't deal with it otherwise. I always make pizza on Fridays because it signifies the weekend for us. (Yeah for Fridays!) I started doing it when DH was still  working through his depression (not as much working through as much as being really down there), and that glimmer of pizza and movie with us at the end of his week always helped him through it and it stuck.
DH has rituals when he gets home, he goes into the bedroom, changes his clothes, and generally needs to be left alone for a few minutes. He will come out when he is ready.
We have rituals going to bed, rituals for having sex, and some rituals for spankings. Although we started this less than a year ago, we are still working on it. Especially with the circus in the house. I think we are still finding our footing again. Not quite there yet.
For example, maintenance has been moved to Saturdays from Sundays. It works, although for whatever reason, I don't like it as much. But as long as it does happen, I am not going to complain. For maintenance, he usually has me take a shower, and either he tells me to get in the outfit or not. He does change it around depending on his mood, I guess. Maintenance usually occurs with some kind of touching on his part, whereas  'punishments' (we have had one so far, good girl, right?) is me leaning my elbows on something and bending over. He doesn't hold or touch me for that. Which is how I feel the difference.
I think rituals are very important. They help me stay focused, organized, in control because I know what to expect. Although I wish we had been doing more of maintenance lately. I hope we settle into our routine for the school year again soon.

I hope everybody has a great weekend!

16 comments:

  1. I haven't joined in the ritual thing because it just makes me a little sad...but it is neat to read about everyone else'. :) Yours sound very nice.

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    1. Yeah I guess if I didn't have them, I wouldn't be too happy either. Blog-Hug!

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  2. Thanks Julia. It's interesting that almost everyone has a distinction between maintenance and punishment.

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  3. Hope you have a great weekend too.

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  4. I liked your explanation of why you like rituals. There is a benefit to them for sure. And I suppose when they are overlooked, there is a draw back too. But life is about taking those risks and reaching for more.

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    1. Yeah I am sure there is drawbacks too but for a person who loves organizing and rituals, the drawbacks can't even be seen!

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  5. I don't think we've settled into any kind of ritual. And it would be impossible to get my husband to agree to a set maintenance night-- the man hates to be tied down to a commitment of any kind!

    But I can always hope...

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    1. No set maintenance? Mh, I don't think I would like that, but I am sure you guys are making it work, sure sounds that way!

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  6. Maintenance and punishment are really different. It is interesting that your DH doesn't touch you during punishments, as opposed to other maintenance for example. I can see why that would make quite a difference to the experience. Very interesting.

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    1. Yeah I think DH would feel like touching me would distract him from the actual intend of the spanking.

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  7. I've always been terrible at organizing things. I do try, but not my forte. I do try to keep the kid's organized. I think it helps them a lot too.
    Your rituals are interesting to read. My husband does make distinctions too, but some of them morph from one type to the next. It depends on his mood, and I accept his way of doing it. I think, for us, it's b/c we have limited time to do any spanking, so he has to combine things. ;-)
    You are one of the few to mention an outfit. I do like the idea. I usually wear the same thing, unless we're alone and being romantic.
    Lillie had a great idea, didn't she.
    Hugs to Ana too! :-)

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    1. I love having an outfit. The process of putting it on, getting my hair right, gets me into the right headspace within seconds.

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  8. We do pizza on Fridays too! It says "weekend" for us. Recently I heard my very busy, glamorous girl say to her friends : No way! I need a Friday with pizza and a movie in the den with my family night" I smiled.

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    1. How funny! And my daughters area already starting to worry about missing out on Fridays too. I love it!

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