Wednesday, October 31, 2012


I don't really feel like blogging. Everything is going great here, we have power and are warm, which is making me feel very thankful, and at the same time, I keep thinking about the East Coast. The people without power, the damage, deaths, injuries, and loss of property. My heart goes out to all of them. I am not big on praying, but my thoughts are with you.

Monday, October 29, 2012

A man with a plan!

The weekend is over. Again. It seems that the weekend always goes by faster than I think it will. But to be honest, this weekend was just awesome! First, my friend offered to take our children for a sleepover, and we had a date night with lots of sex, and even morning sex. I love lazy morning sex when you don't have to worry about little feet running down the hallway, knowing they are as happy as can be.
A little snag in our weekend was the getting wet in the closet part. And I don't mean wet as in ready, but wet as in, it is raining through our roof, and dripping into our closet.

I am not sure how much I have described DH before, but he is a geek. No wait, he is The Geek! He is going to dress up as Luke Skywalker for Halloween, and to top it all off, he is going to wear a Dana Carvey wig with it. So I think that draws a very accurate picture for everybody.

Well, back to the roof. Before ttwd, he would have freaked out mostly because he didn't know how to deal with it and would have known it would be expensive.

He freaked out for about two minutes, and then put his HoH cap back on as well as his toolbelt, and climped up onto the roof in the misty, drizzling Seattle rain. And he fixed it. He did it. I was a bit skeptical, but not negatively, and wanted to wait it out until it rained again. Living where we do, that is not hard, and low and behold, it is dry!

And let me just point out that even though that picture of Dana Carvey looks totally douchy, DH did not in his toolbelt. He looked hot. Really hot.

So here is a shout-out to my HOT HoH! Rawrrr!!!!

And one more shout out to all my readers and fellow bloggers on the East Coast. You are in my thoughts and I hope everybody is safe waiting out the storm!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Doesn't seem likely...

"You know, we have ten minutes before you have to head out..." I told DH this after kids were in bed.

"Good point. Bend over the bed!" What?

"I was thinking quickie sweety, my bum is still sore you know..." Trying to talk him out of that idea.

"I don't care, I will be 'gentle'." Right.

I bent over the bed, and he started spanking me. Hard. I was still sore, really, and it hurt. A lot. I started wiggling. I tried to get away.

"Hold still." He grabs me by the hips, pulls me up, and keeps on going.

Finally he is done. I stand back up, rubbing my glowing cheeks. "Ouch, that hurt."

"Good." Big smile. "Hang on, bend over again." He is reaching over to the lotion, but I didn't see that.

"That doesn't seem likely my love...."

Have a great weekend everybody!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

100th Post

So! I figure since this is my 100th post, it should be something amazing. And if I can't do amazing than at least thoughtful and personal. I can do that!
First off, thank you guys for your suggestions. DH and I have worked through this, he acknowledged that he could have handled it better than just ignoring it, and we had our first morning alone in the house since, wait for it! Anyone remember this post? In this post, I mention what could have been our last morning alone in the house for a while. I didn't realize though that it would be this long!

I know I have mentioned in comments around blog land that DH used to read Harry Potter to me when a new book came out because we had just had our first daughter, and we both wanted to read it, couldn't decide who gets to first, didn't want to buy two copies, and therefore, we settled on him reading it to me. We also saw every movie together at the midnight premiere. Some years that took more work than other, but we always managed this little tradition of ours. Harry Potter to me is a great story, well written, fascinating, I love the world it is set in, but I also love it for what it means to me and DH. He loved the stories too, but I know he indulged me in this a little. He did get into it though.

I don't know how you all feel about tattoos, but I have several, all on different body parts. They are like a road map to my life, I have a tattoo for each of my children, I have a tattoo on my back from when I was younger. This tattoo always reminds me of how young I was even though I thought I was way more mature than anyone else.
And I have the chapter stars found on the American version of the books on my ankle. These stars always remind me of the love DH and I share. Not just Harry Potter, but us, the two of us, our lives together, our children, the things we love together, things we have done together.

I don't know about you guys, but I always start thinking about my next tattoo, I start thinking about what I want it to represent, and this next one will be one just for DH. But I have no idea what yet. Our ten year anniversary is coming up, and we are thinking we want to get one together. Not one of those cheesy ones, two halfs of a whole, but something that will mean something to both of us. We have not figured it out yet....

And here, to complete the Harry Potter theme, one of my favorite songs. You don't have to watch the video, but the song is amazing! I found it once on EL James YouTube channel as a song she listened to when she wrote 50 Shades of Grey. I just love the song!

Here is to this great community of people! Without you, I don't think I would still be here!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

As it turns out

I know I have been moody lately. Blame my period. Sure, why not? It is, afterall, a very emotional time of the month. Every single time. Doesn't help that DH has to work like crazy, and is tired at the end of the day. I get that. I really do, but that doesn't mean he can't hold me tight while he is going to sleep, instead of not looking at me, feeling guilty that he is that exhausted.

Tried to find a woman hanging over a cliff, had to settle for TOM CRUISE!
I have been hinting at needing more for two weeks now. I want more ttwd in our lives, but it feels like I am the only one. I told him that, I told him that if he doesn't like this lifestyle, or just can't handle it, he needs to tell me, so we can figure out what to do, instead of letting me hang, waiting. I compared the feeling to him dangling me over a cliff, and when he has to go to work, he just ties me up and lets me hang there, when he comes home and is too tired to do ttwd, and doesn't even hold me, I feel like he let me hang on that cliff, waiting.
I was chatting with a blog friend over email, and she mentioned that ttwd can cause more problems than not. She was the first one to point this out, and I agree. I mean, I wouldn't have these feelings if we weren't trying to incorporate ttwd into our lives. If he was busy, I still wouldn't like it, but I wouldn't loose my footing like I have over the last two weeks.
I have been questioning his desire for this. I have been questioning whether we even have the same view of ttwd.
Today, DH stayed home from work, children are at school, and this is the first time in a long time I have gotten a spanking. I knew it was coming. The slaps love pads on his butt. The hair I forgot in the shower. The overall disrespect that came out every once in a while had to lead somewhere. And I am a little embarrassed to admit, I did most of those things to see if he even still cares notices. In my heart, of course I know he cares and notices, but to me ttwd is an ever present thing, that weaves itself into our relationship, our daily lives. It doesn't require DH to constantly spank me. If the house just doesn't allow for it because there are children and adult children everywhere, then of course I don't want that either. But at the same time, there are other ways for him to establish who is boss.
And so, as it turns out: DH has been so frustrated with spankings not working out, that he just pulled away. He didn't just pull away in general, but from me, from ttwd, making me feel like I am alone in this. I understand this now. Doesn't make it easier to bear though. To feel like I am alone in this.
So this morning, we finally talked, and talking let to spanking. Spanking let to him getting the wooden paddle out. I hope we can figure out how to live with ttwd even if we can't spank to reconnect/maintain on a regular bases. Sometimes it just doesn't work out, and we still need to be feel connected.

Advice? And please don't tell me I need more chocolate. I am really serious. DH and I both welcome any thoughts you may have.  And also, thank you Bonny! For all you have done for my blog.

Friday, October 19, 2012

The Power of Chocolate

I had a really bad day yesterday. Wasn't really one particular thing, but all kinds of things pooling together to make it a not so pleasant day. But at the end  of it, I allowed myself some chocolate. I have been really good eating wise, stayed healthy, went running, and just watching what I eat. So when I decided yesterday that I deserved some chocolate, I had no idea how much I needed that. I love chocolate, always have, always will. 

So! Just in case anyone is wondering: Chocolate never tastes as good as it does when you actually deserve chocolate, when you don't feel guilty for eating it. When you can just enjoy it! And no, I did not share my chocolate. 

Have a great weekend everybody! I know I am looking forward to some fall laziness this weekend, baking a pie maybe, and just enjoying my beautiful family!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Different types of Orgasms

I started masturbating fairly early, at least I think so. I think I was about 11 when I discovered myself, although it took me a bit longer to actually get somewhere with that. Then I had sex at 13, and never came, driving my then boyfriend to try harder and harder, to start complaining, leaving me feeling inadequate and trying that much harder to cum. But I think we all know, THAT never works!
When I met DH, we had sex pretty quickly, okay actually, we had sex the same night I first made a move on him. So you see, he really didn't stand a chance.
At the beginning of our lives together, I would still do the freaking out about trying to cum. All the time. DH and I even tried getting me drunk to help me relax, but I am not big on drinking. But something changed after I had my first child, I remember the first time having sex after, and I came. It was unbelievable. So I thought it would be fun to describe some different types of orgasms.

Masturbation Orgasm

To me, these are mostly maintenance at this  point in my life. I will do it when DH is really not around. It doesn't take very long, usually I only do it when I am super horny, and it usually just satisfies the urge for that moment/rest of the day/ or until DH is back.

Clitoral Orgasm

The other night, DH and I were watching TV in bed. I was  a little frisky, but knew he was tired, so I tried to keep the butt wiggling to a minimum. But he noticed anyway. He paused the TV (love our DVR, I mean what did people do before DVR's?), and went under the blanket. Sometimes he has to approach me slowly, touching my thighs first and moving closer to his target. He didn't do that that time. He went straight for my clit, and it was heaven. I think I came within a minute. I don't think my body is always capable of these types of orgasms, sometimes it  is just too much stimulation, but this was perfect.

Mental Orgasm

Sometimes when we have sex I am too distracted with the thought of children coming in (although we have a lock now), or making too much noise. I still get really into it, I feel myself moving up to the edge, but then it doesn't feel like I can get over it. And then DH tells me to cum on his dick, now as he is cuming, and while it is not a body orgasms, I can feel myself going there with DH. I usually don't know I came until after, when we are lying there together.

Little in-between Orgasms

Often after a spanking, DH has a lot more for me in store, and we will have crazy sessions of a lot of sex. Really hot sex. We switch positions like there is no tomorrow, and I get to come a lot. But usually with these types, I want more. I want to feel more cock inside me. I want to feel more fucking. I just want more! This usually leads to

Anal sex and Orgasms

I love anal sex. I know I never talk about it on my blog, because I feel like it is just too personal, but I love it. We usually have anal sex after he has worked me over a bit, I have cum a few times already. He will then slowly enter me, and just that feeling gets me to the edge. I have to stop  touching myself at that point, and tell DH that I am really close, aka, I hope you are right there with me close. Because once I cum during anal sex, I clench up so tight that it hurts DH and he has to pull out. We have had a few times now where he hadn't cum yet, and he will find some other way to finish. To me, these types of orgasms are the kind of leave me feeling drained, happy, content, taken care of, and all around amazing. I can usually feel my muscles clenching for hours later, and if at night, there is no better drug that can put me to sleep then an orgasms from anal sex.

I am sure I forgot some, but these are usually the ones I experience. What about you guys? I am sure some women can have orgasms from breasts stimulation, but I am not there yet, but DH and I have loved trying it out lately.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Feeling good about yourself!

A little all over today I'm afraid.  HNT=Half-Nekkid Thursday

Something has been swirling through my mind lately. That something is posting a pic of myself on my blog. The thought came to me after reading Emen's comment on Kitty's blog post.

I have always struggled with the way I feel about myself. Finally, at my very old age, okay, not that old, but still, I feel like I like who I am, and how I look.
I like being tall.
I like being mostly blonde.
I like, actually love, my hair.
I like my mischievous smile that is mostly reserved for DH.
I like my legs, and I really like my boobs. Realizing all this has made me feel so much more womanly. Does that even make sense to anyone else?

Ever since DH and I started this journey, I have started to like myself more. When we first talked about ttwd,  we would talk about fantasies, about rules, and expectations. DH never told me what to wear or how to look, and still doesn't tell me what to wear, but he will make his desires or expectations known. Like wearing a skirt. I have never felt comfortable wearing a skirt or even a dress. This was a major issue with my boyfriend when I was 15, and it kind of escalated after that. But I have been wearing  skirts all  summer long, no problem there.
I feel so much more comfortable with who I am. I feel more confident with myself, if I want to change something about myself, I have realized that nobody can do it for me,  I have to want to do it, and then I can. It is that simple.

Another factor of how this post came together: In Emen's comment she says she likes to know how people she follows look. And I don't think she meant a full body picture, more of just something real. So I have seen a picture of Kitty and a picture of Conina. I don't want to say that I want to copy what they did, but at the same time, they really inspired me. I talked to DH about it. I asked him if it was too self-centered of me to want to post a pic. As usual, he is amazing. He told me what he thought, and gave me permission to do it as long as he approves the picture first. So I used his phone and told him to take his time deciding and just send me The One.

So, the night before, I was lying in bed, waiting for DH to join me, when my cat came over and lay
down on me. I took a picture and I actually liked it. DH saw me waiting for  him, and said:
"My two favorite things, and a pussy too!"

I liked a picture of my own breasts, my boobs.
When I met DH, he wasn't much into boobs, then we had kids and they were off limits with breastfeeding. After I finally stopped breastfeeding, it took another long while for my sensitivity to come back, but while we ignored my boobs mostly, DH discovered that he actually likes MY boobs, or as he calls them, HIS now.

So, there are my breasts. I love my breasts. I love my small nipples. And I love showing them off to DH, flashing him while walking by, or shaking them at him. He loves to motorboat them, I have no idea why, but they are his to do with as he pleases. And if that pleases him, that is fine with me.

Isn't being comfortable in your own skin just the greatest feeling?

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

14 Things Every Woman Should Know to Have Better Sex!

I just found this article while browsing the internet, finding excuses not to get up and clean my house for the upcoming play date. I do think this is pretty accurate, at least for me!

1.  Every Woman Has a Surefire Happy-Making Position — Find Yours    Did that! Doggy style for us! 

2. Sex in a Soft, Clean, Comfy Bed Is Underrated: You're supposed to want to do it on the  kitchen floor, in the airplane bathroom, and hanging from your light fixtures. Bah! There's no shame in enjoying your good sheets.   I love sex in our bed, its my favorite spot int he world!

3. Everyone Else Is Not Having More (or Better) Sex Than You Are There is no "normal" amount we should all aspire to, no magic number of times per month that signifies your relationship is hunky-dory. There's only one question you need to answer: Are you having enough sex for you?    I used to struggle with this, thinking I wasn't normal. But with age, I have relaxed about this. I love DH and my sex life. We have GREAT sex!

4.  Asking for What You Want Is Worth the Embarrassment What's a brief awkward moment of sounding like one of those women at the end of a 900 number compared to, well, getting what you need? Yeah, we know I did that one. It was very embarrassing, but sooo worth it!

5.  You Need Transition Time into Sex Look at all the people who want a piece of you — your kid, your client, the guy who's supposed to be renovating your kitchen. So don't expect to make the leap from corporate exec or general contractor or mommy-on-the-spot to sex goddess without a little time to reassemble yourself. When you're done with the dinner dishes, take a shower — alone! — or read a book. Better yet, get your guy to do the dishes. After that, you might want to give him some action, after all.  I love taking a shower in the evening, although DH does too, and often ends up coming in too. And that is our magic time!

6. The More Sex You Have, the More You Want It's simple: Delicious recent memories make you want to reenact the fun. But the reverse is also often true — if you go too long without, you forget how much you like it. Mhh, sure does!
7.  Masturbating Isn't Just for Dry Spells First of all, it's plain fun, and second, when was the last time you disappointed yourself? Not to mention the fact that more frequent orgasms will keep you craving partner play, too. I can see that, but I haven't done it in a while. I have been pretty happy lately. The other night, DH paused whatever we were watching, slid under the blankets, and just enjoyed himself. So delicious! After, he snuggled me. Mhhhh, just thinking about it is getting me all horny again.

8. Worrying About Your Orgasm Is the Best Way to Chase it Away When your mind is roiling, It's not happening ... concentrate ... he'll think he failed ... what's wrong with me? you're thinking, not feeling. Focus on the lovely physical sensations instead and soon you won't be able to think straight — in a good way. This is why I didn't come  during sex for the first ten years of having sex, maybe even more. Sometimes I can still feel myself slipping toward it. 

9.  Planned Sex Can Be Even Better Than Spontaneous Sex Anticipation as foreplay.

10. Yes, You Can Give Him a Hand Touching yourself to speed up your happy ending is not only allowed, it's appreciated, especially when your guy has had his neck in an awkward position for the better part of an hour. I used to be embarrassed about this, thinking that I shouldn't. Didn't want to make him feel like he can't do it. Needless to say, that is not the case. He loves telling me to touch myself.

11. Sometimes What Your Body Lusts for Most Is Sleep An "off" night or a dry spell doesn't mean your relationship is tanking. It usually means you have children or a demanding job or you need to be alone in your head. Go ahead, take the night off. Yup, sometimes life just gets in the way, oh well.

12. But Sometimes, "Just Do It" Really Does Work If you wait to be struck with a spontaneous urge to tear his clothes off, you may be waiting a very long time. But if you simply decide to give it a go, your body (and your desire) will often catch up.

Yes, I have noticed that too. Sometimes we are lying there, don't feel like it, but then try anyway, and we have had awesome sex that way!

13.  The Way Your Vagina Looks, However, is Perfectly Normal And no, we don't have to see it to know that. I really used to worry about this. And my butt. Before DH ever saw my butt naked, I was scarred be wouldn't like it because I have a rather small butt. But as it turns out, my butt is his favorite!

14.  Sex Gets Better with Age (Or practice, or time with one partner, or all of the above.) The future is looking bright! YES! YES! YES!

How about you guys? What do you think of these suggestions?

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Spanking Implement Review # 7

Description: DH's leather belt

Intensity: Depends on how it is used....

Sound level: Pretty slappy

Feeling during spanking: From too soft, to very ouchy

DH's comment: "Hard to get it right, but I can see the potential with some practice."

"Go put on your outfit." DH told me once I got out of the shower. He was still dressed in his work clothes, looking really hot. I giggled a little and walked into the closet. I put on the entire outfit, including the stockings, with the bows facing back. Once I put on my skirt, I noticed it was a little looser, yeah the working out and eating healthy is working! I reappeared from the closet, and DH is not looking too pleased. Mhh.
"This is not a maintenance or reconnection spanking." Huh? This sounds like he is going somewhere I don't want to go, but I knew it was coming.
Earlier that evening, there might have been some rudeness on my part, as well as his I might add, and there might have been some 'whatevers' thrown into the mix as well. It was a long day, that ended with him being late, screwing up my whole schedule, me having to run into the store with him after I picked him up, hurrying through the store to find something fast to cook for dinner so we would be done in time to pick up our oldest, and upon paying for dinner, smelling that the chicken I just bought smelled really nasty. Of course I didn't have time to stand in line and return in, and I got so mad at the entire store, I just walked out with the nasty smelling chicken. (Returning it today) Oh, and I forgot to mention I was HUNGRY. Really really hungry. When this girl is hungry, don't get in her way, seriously.

"I am going to give you a spanking because you were incredibly rude to me tonight. And it is unacceptable for you to speak to me that way." Yup, I agree. But what about the HoH that is being an ass? He was just as rude (and hungry and tired) to me as I was to him.
"I don't think that is right. I don't think you should get to give me a spanking for being rude when you were such as ass yourself."
Following that statement was a lot of figuring out what went wrong, how it could have gone different, and all that.
"Bottom line, you are getting a spanking. I am sorry I was rude to you. I will try to be more human next time, but you are getting a spanking. With my belt." Gulp.
He turned me around, hands on the bed, and started spanking me over the skirt, not light taps though, like he usually does when he starts, but really stingy ones. He then lifted my skirt a little, and spanked me on my white panties and a little lower too, covering a pretty broad area. He got a little sidetracked, started playing with me, pulling down my panties, getting me really hot and bothered, and then spanked me some more. Really hard.
"Your pussy likes this, its getting all wet already."  Next thing I hear is silence, then the unbuckling of a belt, his belt. He switches sides and is standing on my other side. I was terrified. Seriously. Him switching sides really made me more anxious, and I started moving around. I kept moving my body without shifting my feet, trying to find him, to lean into him, feel his comfort, strength.
"Stop fidgeting, stand still."
And he started. The first slap was light, I could barely feel it, but the ones following got more and more stingy and really intense. He aimed the belt to hit me all over, from the side of my hips, to underneath my bottom, right where the thigh meets buttocks. And he just kept going. I actually have a bruise, no buns of titanium anymore...
After, he held me in his arms.
"I am sorry I was rude to you today, and thank you for my spanking."
"I know my love. I am sorry I was rude today, I will try to handle it better next time, and just make you eat something. And you are welcome."

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Gonna give that white thong another try!

Thanks for your encouraging words guys! And thank you Riley for listening to me! Feels good to have somebody to talk this stuff over with!
DH came home super late last night, actually had to take a cab. But at least he got to have a slow morning. Honestly, I was a bit reluctant this morning. Not him. He really tried, and even told me the things I am in trouble for. Oops. But honestly, I don't think it right for him to say I am in trouble for things he didn't notice until after he read my blog post. But, not sure if that worked or not. "We will see later" sounds like I didn't.....
To be continued.

Monday, October 1, 2012

When even a white thong doesn't work.

It is a beautiful fall day in my part of the world. I just took my banner picture today and figured my blog could use an update. I love changing things around, switching furniture, organizing a room differently, and I always have. I used to switch my bedroom around all the time when I was a teenager. When I met DH though, I learned, the hard way, that not everybody loves to change their environment like I do. In fact, DH hates it when something changes, so for the sake of his sanity, I don't do it anymore. No more switching around furniture, no more redecorating whenever I feel like it. But I get to on my blog.

This weekend was not one of my favorite weekends. It was my youngest daughter's birthday, expectations were high, at least mine and my oldest daughter's, but DH had work to do. Usually that would mean he has to log into work from home in the evening. Not this weekend. Of course. That would have been easy, and way less dramatic.
Our internet just stopped working Friday. Poof. No more internet. For most people, I am sure, that means 'oh well'. For us, it means that I can't log into school, or bank, or my blogger. So you can imagine, I was not a happy camper. At all. But I tried not to let it affect me, I went to the library and did my school work there. No biggie, plus I knew we would most likely have internet again by Monday (today).
DH however, couldn't log into work. Therefore he spent the first half of our daughter's birthday on the phone with our cell provider to get our hotspot going. No luck. Then he went into the store. Somewhat successful. But at this point, he was already so  beyond frustrated, that we disconnected from each other.

I felt neglected. Silly. I know. Doesn't change the fact that I did. Putting on his favorite underwear didn't matter. Putting on my high stockings did not matter. There was no HoH in this house this weekend. Just a frustrated and really tired guy who still had to do more work. I felt bad for him having to work. I tried to make life easier for him, but honestly, I felt really neglected myself. Nobody was taking care of me or my needs. So I shelved them. Put them high up there. Not sure if I want to get them back out again, because I feel like I am just one more item on his to-do list, and I hate being a chore. I hate that my needs (as we have discovered through this ttwd journey, I have needs) are a chore to him. And even if he  mostly doesn't feel that way, I don't ever want to be chore, for anyone.

This weekend was hard. I know we didn't have the house to ourselves, and DH didn't  even think about spanking me because of it, but I know we have done it before when his son was here, and he could have. But he wasn't even thinking about it. It is one thing when we just don't have the opportunity, but quite another when maintenance is not even on his mind. I know my regulars know that I have a history of not asking for a spanking, but since then, we have figured out different ways for me to let it be known that I would really like/need one. Examples:

  • Wearing a thong
  • Smacking his ass
  • Putting my brush on his bedside table
  • Being clean and ready to go

But don't get me wrong, I know DH is busy. I know he would rather be doing anything but what he is doing. I know that. And still. I have feelings too.