Monday, October 1, 2012

When even a white thong doesn't work.

It is a beautiful fall day in my part of the world. I just took my banner picture today and figured my blog could use an update. I love changing things around, switching furniture, organizing a room differently, and I always have. I used to switch my bedroom around all the time when I was a teenager. When I met DH though, I learned, the hard way, that not everybody loves to change their environment like I do. In fact, DH hates it when something changes, so for the sake of his sanity, I don't do it anymore. No more switching around furniture, no more redecorating whenever I feel like it. But I get to on my blog.

This weekend was not one of my favorite weekends. It was my youngest daughter's birthday, expectations were high, at least mine and my oldest daughter's, but DH had work to do. Usually that would mean he has to log into work from home in the evening. Not this weekend. Of course. That would have been easy, and way less dramatic.
Our internet just stopped working Friday. Poof. No more internet. For most people, I am sure, that means 'oh well'. For us, it means that I can't log into school, or bank, or my blogger. So you can imagine, I was not a happy camper. At all. But I tried not to let it affect me, I went to the library and did my school work there. No biggie, plus I knew we would most likely have internet again by Monday (today).
DH however, couldn't log into work. Therefore he spent the first half of our daughter's birthday on the phone with our cell provider to get our hotspot going. No luck. Then he went into the store. Somewhat successful. But at this point, he was already so  beyond frustrated, that we disconnected from each other.

I felt neglected. Silly. I know. Doesn't change the fact that I did. Putting on his favorite underwear didn't matter. Putting on my high stockings did not matter. There was no HoH in this house this weekend. Just a frustrated and really tired guy who still had to do more work. I felt bad for him having to work. I tried to make life easier for him, but honestly, I felt really neglected myself. Nobody was taking care of me or my needs. So I shelved them. Put them high up there. Not sure if I want to get them back out again, because I feel like I am just one more item on his to-do list, and I hate being a chore. I hate that my needs (as we have discovered through this ttwd journey, I have needs) are a chore to him. And even if he  mostly doesn't feel that way, I don't ever want to be chore, for anyone.

This weekend was hard. I know we didn't have the house to ourselves, and DH didn't  even think about spanking me because of it, but I know we have done it before when his son was here, and he could have. But he wasn't even thinking about it. It is one thing when we just don't have the opportunity, but quite another when maintenance is not even on his mind. I know my regulars know that I have a history of not asking for a spanking, but since then, we have figured out different ways for me to let it be known that I would really like/need one. Examples:

  • Wearing a thong
  • Smacking his ass
  • Putting my brush on his bedside table
  • Being clean and ready to go
Nothing.

But don't get me wrong, I know DH is busy. I know he would rather be doing anything but what he is doing. I know that. And still. I have feelings too.

21 comments:

  1. I am sorry to hear this, Julia. It's a completely different situation and I can't share details, but someone very important in my life has given me the brush-off for four days (not at all typical). It is hard. It's also hard not to take it personally.

    On the other hand, maybe you can find something on your own that you're not normally able/allowed to do?

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    1. I know he is just exhausted, and tired of working. I know that. Still hard. Especially when he calls me from work telling me he has to stay late again.

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  2. Sorry things didn't work out this weekend. Like Ana said don't take it personally. He is probably just exhausted.

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    1. I know. Still hard not to take it personally though.

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  3. I like your new blogger background and the pic in your post. You'll be back to regular spanking in no time I am sure. I had some frustrations of my own this weekend. Maybe something is in the air? Take care.

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    1. Thank you SNP. I hope you are right, and hopefully this will pass for both of us! Congrats on the new job!

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  4. Hi Julia :)
    It is really tough when real life interferes with the love affair we have going with our husband. That is often how I feel and kind of what this sounds like. Sometimes life is just tiring. You guys sound like you have a great thing going when conditions are right, and that is what is really important. Take care. :)

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    1. I know, but thank you Lillian, I guess I just needed to vent.

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  5. Aww Julia I feel for you chickie :( Sounds like he was very tired, but still, I imagine you're missing his energetic and playful self. I hope he's back ASAP.

    Really pretty fall picture, now you're making me want to update my blog, too! I also adore that white thong, where's it from?

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    1. You know, I have no idea! I just really like the pic! But this is what I found...http://thejetsetgirls.com/bachelorette-parties-idea-21-lingerie-shower/

      I love fall! So I had to change my blog a little. Gotte change something. :D

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  6. I know how hard it is when we need to take a back seat to the work, or plain simple exhaustion.
    Hopefully things will alter soon!

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    1. Thank you Minelle. I hope so too, and DH just read this blog post...rohroh!

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  7. Some weekends are just like that huh? Here's to hoping that you get a little alone time with your grumpy bear this week.

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    1. Thank you Susie. DH chuckled at the grumpy bear remark...:D

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  8. patience ... after a while you'll be able to better handle the lack of.


    (so i'm told hahahah... i still get edgy but then i think about how tiring it is to keep up with the housework and somedays when i feel like just NOT doing it... that's how i imagine their approach to the spanking - they know they should, they want to, just just can't bring themselves to do it... even tho the AFTER effects are so goooood. just like having a clean house. heh. might not be the best analogy, but it works for me. )

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    1. Haha, yeah not good with patience. Well I can be, and I also can really not be, depends on what it is. :D
      And I imagine it the exact same way: Sometimes the time is not there, he knows he probably should, but doesn't want to squeeze it in and all that...yup!

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  9. Some days just don't go the way that you want them to and it can be pretty disappointing. You reminded me of something important the other day, so now I will remind you...being the guy, in this dynamic and in general, is really tough sometimes! His job is an important part of his ability to take care of you and the kids. His focus on that issue may have caused him to overlook your needs, but like you said, it wasn't because he wanted it to be that way. Life just happens sometimes:) Hope you guys get to reconnect real soon!

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    1. Well I am glad we can remind each other of this every once in a while. And I agree, his job is very important, and I usually don't get that whiny, unless he had to work through the weekend and then some... Thanks for you encouraging words Tess!

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  10. Hi Julia. I love the changes you made to your blog. Looks great! I know it's really hard when Hubby gets so busy. Blue often works much too hard and doesn't have time for much else when he gets home but food, shower, and sleep.
    Then, he sometimes gets grumpy, just due to being tired.....The only good side to that is that when he does have time to play, it is just that much sweeter. If it happened everyday, I don't think I would appreciate it as much.
    I hope things slow down soon for your DH and you get to reconnect.
    We had major problems with our internet connection about a month ago. I went for days without it. I was amazed at how lost I felt! I didn't realize how much I rely on it until I didn't have it.

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    1. Thank you Cowgirl!
      And you may be on to something, because if we had the time all the time, we might not appreciate it as much as we do otherwise. Thank you!
      And yes, I love my internet, it is a type of therapy for me to just sit here after the kids are in bed, and blog, or surf, or play games, or netflix. Ohh the possibilities are endless!

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  11. You can make $20 for a 20 minute survey!

    Guess what? This is exactly what big companies are paying for. They need to know what their customer needs and wants. So large companies pay $1,000,000's of dollars each month to the average person. In return, the average person, like myself, answers some questions and gives them their opinion.

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