Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Where did the month go?

I haven't really known what to blog about after my friend left. I am still trying to figure out how her visit was: She came here on pretty short notice because she is switching jobs and wanted to relax before doing so, which for her, is here, with us. I know that. I also know what she loves to do when she is here. Shopping. A lot of it. And as it turned out, DH's company had given his entire department the entire week of Thanksgiving off and he was home the whole week. Which was great, only my friend wanted to go shopping, resulting in us being gone a lot during the last week. Toward the end, DH started to get mad about the situation, I could tell, but instead of withdrawing, he started to assert himself, make it known how he felt about it, and in the end giving us 'curfews'.
I was fine with that, and so was my friend.
I think ttwd has finally allowed us to find a solution to a problem that has popped back up every time I had a visitor from Germany: he withdrew. But not this time.

I just read Christina's post on raising children in a Domestic Discipline household, and agreed with everything she said. Since starting this ttwd journey, I have stepped away from interfering when he dealt with the children about situations, I let him handle it. He can handle it. He doesn't get overwhelmed by his own children anymore, and it is making him feel confident, wanting to be more present in the daily family life that he used to withdraw from.
DH is the head of our household, and he has really asserted himself over the last year. And I have learned to let his decision be his decision. I do have a say, and there have been many times I have told him my opinion on things and he changed his mind based on what I said, but not in the way it used to be. No nastiness, sarcasm, bad humor.

I feel like this is going great, and at the same time, the spanking part of it, maintenance, connection, reconnection, or fun ones, is not really happening. Once again, live is getting in the way. Sick, that time of the month, DH's children living in our house (teenagers with friends who stay the night....like walking into the kitchen at midnight and there are a bunch of people in there). It can be so frustrating having to deal with stuff like that. Like work. I mean who would have ever thought that when you get married you would be too fucking busy to have sex? Or that you wouldn't be able to have the kind of sex in your own house whenever you wanted? For some reason, not something I ever considered when I dreamed about my future!
So, as you can see, I am here. My visit with my friend was great, though tiring, and expensive. But I am mostly done with Christmas shopping. DH inserted his authority in something he never felt comfortable in before.

Workout Challenge: I went running on Tuesday, going tomorrow morning, rain or shine!

Sorry for this all over blog post.

14 comments:

  1. Sounds like you had fun with your friend, AND DH was able to stay in control through the hectic fun. Congrats on being almost done with your Christmas shopping! That is no small task!

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    1. Yep, everything non-intimate worked out just beautifully! So I know, I know, gotta enjoy it, and I am, but sex just has gotten so important between us. Just two years ago, we didn't have sex the way we have it now. Its kind of weird. :)

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  2. Hope things will quiet down a little for you guys and you can have some "alone" time.

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  3. I absolutely share your frustrations with life getting in the way!!

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  4. Yep, life sure does get in the way but good for DH! You may not have time for everything you'd like in this dynamic but the undercurrent is strong and that will carry you through until you get a bit of time together.

    Okay, that's my theory anyway. LOL. I know it's frustrating. Hang in there Julia.

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    1. Great way of putting it Susie, the undercurrent. I am actually really proud of him for this undercurrent.

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  5. Sounds like you had a good time with your friend, and good job DH! I'm glad he was assertive. :)

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  6. I'm sorry about life being too hectic to enjoy certain things to the fullest extent...but I think it's awesome to hear about his command of the everyday stuff and the company issue. For me, feeling his dominance in non-physical ways when things get stressful and crazy helps keep me balanced even when we aren't able to address things in our *other* way, because of the kids, or company or we're staying with family or whatever. Hope you get some alone time soon though! You know I can relate to that feeling;)

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    1. Tess, reading your post, I could really tell how happy you were with his presence on your trip. Very awesome! DH has been really great at establishing his HoHness too, in the house, his family. Now I need to wait for him to be comfortable with this just toward me. :)

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  7. It is amazing when you think about it how life can get in the way. I think the same thing quite often, one or two things come up, next thing you know it's been a couple of days since you have really seen each other, let alone had sex.

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    1. Exactly! How in the world is that possible! Crazy crazy life!

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