Sunday, December 30, 2012

New Year's Eve Eve

Hi everybody! I feel like I haven't blogged in forever, like I abandoned all my blogger friends, but sometimes the 'real life' just takes over. As it has over the last few weeks. I had prepared some blog posts to post while I am in Germany, and I have been trying to check on my blog every once in a while. Surprise surprise! I wasn't forgotten. Feels so nice.
DH arrived safe and sound here in Germany, and we have been having (mostly) a great time. We didn't disconnect like we usually do while we were apart. The sex challenge really was a great idea. It really helped us focus on us before I left. I really can only recommend it!
Once DH got here, I think he was a bit overwhelmed with all these women in my family, most of them without a husband, and it took him a bit to figure out that I am not one of them, I enjoy him as a strong leader, somebody I can rely on. Although, I have to admit, my exercising went out the window. I went running three times, but it is so different here, and not just outside, but the whole dynamic and schedule. So I asked DH what he thought and we agreed that we are on vacation. And honestly I am looking forward to starting my routine again once I am home.

I have really been enjoying having family around me. I never have family around, unless of course one person visits, but not like this. I love being able to see my sisters.  One of my sisters has been coming over here to stay too so she can hang out with me as much as possible. Nothing like family.
New Years Eve in Germany is BIG. I mean BIG! We don't have a 4th of July to blow up fireworks and therefore it all happens tomorrow night. We have a big night planned with family, and I am very exciting for that, even though it brings leaving that much closer. I am excited to go home again though. Sleep in our bed. This one squeaks really loudly with every move. It sags. Sex in it makes you think  you are about to fall through the floor. But this has been the first time I have cum while in Germany. Usually I am all hesitant about having sex, and enjoying it, I mean this is my mother's home. But because of ttwd, I have realized that people have sex. As long as we are discreet, why not?

I want to wish you all a wonderful 'slide into the new year' as we say in German. I am looking forward to coming back home, to a new Year. One in which DH and I grow even closer, one in which we will pay off even more debt. I am excited for this New Year!

Happy New Year everybody!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

To treasure what I have!



I found this on Facebook a while back, and thought I would share....You have been warned.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband…."

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Frohe Weihnachten!

As you all know, I am in Germany right now, and figured I would just celebrate as we do here. Therefore, Christmas is on Christmas Eve, on Christmas Day, and on the second Christmas Day as well. 
We celebrate Christmas on the evening of the 24th. Usually we have a very special dinner with family, then send the children in a different room while we get the presents out, and then we gather in the family room and exchange gifts. 
I love doing gifts with my family, usually this is a slow process because we all want to see who gave what to whom. I like that. I like the slowness of it all. Makes you really appreciated every moment.

For my family, this is mostly it. We don't have extended family, and don't celebrate more, but other families usually go see their relatives over the next few days. 
The 25th and the 26th are a holiday, shops close early on the 24th, and nothing is open on the 25th and 26th, making this a terrible thing when it falls just wrong on the weekdays. Sundays are still closed days in Germany as well, therefore if Christmas eve falls on a Sunday, Monday and Tuesday are closed as well.

Anyway. I hope you all have a fantastic day. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays! Or simply just relax and enjoy the craziness! 

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


I have noticed a few things while studying my blog stats. No particular order...

  • Bloggers stats are not very accurate or informative. I recently signed up for StatCounter, which is free, and they offer a huge amount of info about visitors, but also about almost everything else. Very fascinating. For example, it has a map of where visitors are located, how long visitors stay, how to entered, and how they exited your blog. 
  • Did you know that you can look for your blog by typing in your URL and then colon links? For my blog it looks like this:      This will show you a bunch of sites that have you on their blogroll. 
  • Did you know you can go on Google Trends and research keywords, titles, and stuff like that to optimize your keywords? I didn't know that, not sure I will use this, but still good to know in my opinion.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Gratitude from far away!

A while back, Slightly Naughty Princess had a post that really resonated with me, and I commented saying I would write this letter to DH. This seems like a good time to do it!

"Kind words and appreciation are foundations for a good, healthy relationship, and everyone likes a compliment.  But sometimes it's hard to know what to say."

"If you struggle to put words to your feelings........try these fill-in-the-blank prompts."

*Thank you so much for making me laugh every single day. You brighten up my day, help me see the joy in little moments, and you make me feel such gratitude for my life and the love that we have. I feel so fortunate to have a family with you. To be able to raise children together. I appreciate that every single time I look at our children, and the only regret I feel is that people like my mother never got to experience this.

*I love it when you notice the little things. I love it when you follow me around because you just can't help it.

*The thing I admire most about you is how you have worked on yourself to not let the depression weigh you down anymore. I admire your tenaciousness when it comes to work, making sure you did it right, and the way you always try and stick up for those who can't quite keep up with you.

*It really makes me happy when you are happy.

*That really impressed me when you started doing bedtime mostly by yourself. I know this may sound cheesy or even weird, but at the end of the day, those last five minutes sometimes stretch into infinity for me, and when you take over like you do, and then don't even want credit for it after....that really impresses me every single time because you have had a long day too!

*I know you love me when you smile that smile that is just for me at me. Nobody has ever seen that smile except for me.

*I wish I were as good at working through tough situations  as you are, at believing in yourself.

*You look smokin' hot in  your work clothes. With the tie, the button down shirt, tucked into those pants,  your leather belt.

DH always says this to me: 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Giveaway Winners and He-said-She-said

I don't really have the time to write a blog today, but not sure I will have anymore time over the next 2 days, so you guys get some bulletins with random stuff. To make it more interesting, this is going to be a 'he said, she said' kind of post!

First off though, the winner of the German chocolate/candy giveaway are:

Nunuv Yobusiness, Susie, and Annie! Please contact me and we will figure out the details!

She said:

  • I have two huge suitcases full of stuff that is not my own already packed. There is not one item in there that is mine or my children's....
  • I have yet to actually start packing
  • Did you know that when you travel without the father of your children you need some kind of notarized letter with his signature that tells the custom people that I am not stealing my own children?
  • Our challenge is going pretty well: We had a day or two without sex, mostly due to real life catching us, making crazy parents out of us, making us run from ballet rehearsals to preschool Christmas concerts all within a very short time period.
  • Challenging your spouse to more sex is a fun way to reconnect I have discovered. It has put sex more in the middle of everything we do, and DH and I have both enjoyed raising up to meet this challenge.
  • Reaching six orgasms within 'one session' is not normal for me. But I like it!
  • I am going to go running in just a few minutes to meet my GOOB for the week, again. I really do like running, although I am a bit intimidated doing it in Germany. I have noticed that people in my life react differently to me working out more: Either the person is jealous and doesn't say much about it, or they are happy for me  and very encouraging. But isn't it kind of weird that I would have anyone in my life who wouldn't be encouraging? Like my friend who was here a while ago, she got really closed lipped every time I went to go running, and I really think it is because she was jealous that she is not working out.
He said:

  • OMG, Julia is leaving a long time from now in a week not tomorrow TOMORROW.  I'm working from home so I can drive her and the girls to the airport, and then I'm on my own.
  • Last night, I gave Julia a very thorough spanking with my hand and the leather paddle.
  • Our challenge is going pretty well.  And I'm proud that we put our children ahead of the challenge.  And, I'm not as proud that I took a long shower and then fell asleep instead of having my way with Julia as I should have one night.
  • I've given Julia a schedule for phone calls while she's in Germany, to make sure we stay in contact, and connected.
  • I can't help Julia pack.  She packs for everyone in the family because she is an organizational genius.  It takes her about 5 minutes to pack what would take me a day.  
  • Julia's getting ready to go running.  She's stretching right now, she's got her workout clothes on, and she's trying to figure out what her course will be.  She looks so beautiful. 
  • I can't wait to see Julia and our girls in Germany.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Cookie Recipe Exchange - Walnut Chocolate Chip

My Favorite Chocolate Chip Cookies!

1/2 cup (100 grams) granulated sugar
1/2 cup (120 grams) firmly packed light brown sugar
8 tablespoons (1 stick) (115 grams) unsalted butter, cold, cut into 1/2-inch (1cm) pieces
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/4 cups (175 grams) all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt or 1/2 teaspoon flaky sea salt (Deb option)
1 1/2 cups (200 grams) semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup (130 grams) walnuts or pecans, toasted and chopped
Adjust the oven rack to the top third of the oven and preheat to 350F (170C?). Line three baking sheets with parchment paper.
Beat the sugars and butters together until smooth. Mix in the egg, vanilla, and baking soda.
Stir together the flour and salt, then mix them into the batter. Mix in the chocolate chips and nuts.
Scoop the cookie dough into 2-tablespoon (5cm) balls and place 8 balls, spaced 4 inches (10cm) apart, on each of the baking sheets.
Bake for 16 minutes, or until pale golden brown. Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack.
Store at room temperature in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

I found this recipe at:  

Just as a disclaimer, this is not my recipe, I just love it and I am sharing the cookie joy!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I need ideas plus a giveaway!

Thank you so much for everybody's very kind words of wisdom for my last post. It is very much appreciated by both of us, and I am happy to report we are already changing our sexual dynamic a little. Details to follow at some point in time.....

But for now, I am starting to pack, and I am wondering what to bring. I have gifts for everybody, but I also like to bring the odd thing here and there. Like M&Ms in different flavors, like mint or coconut. So I would like your help please!
Please post some ideas for what you can think of.

If you are in North America: Something you think is a must to bring
Anywhere outside of North America: What do you know that you would love to have again?

So! Think about something, leave a comment, or leave the blog, think about it, and then come back again! Pretty please!

DH told me to make this a contest! Being the good girl that I am, I am following his wishes: The winners (Three to be exact) will be selected by a randomizer, every comment left will be counted, and the winner will get a bar of German Chocolate upon my return to the USA.

 I will  bring back different flavors, such as White chocolate, Dark, Milk, Super Dark, with Crisp...You get the idea!

Monday, December 3, 2012


Very graphic post advisory

Kitty for Mr. Woods wrote this post. Her blog being on my blogroll, DH saw it and clicked on it. He loves when I suck his cock, but I don't think he knows (or believe) quite how much I like it. This must be yet another left-over from his lovely ex-wife.
When we met more than ten years ago, I had never given a blow job. I have had two boyfriends, had sex with them (not good sex. At all. But at 16, I mean....), but was always intimidated by The Penis. Boyfriends never insisted, and therefore, I never did it. Then at 17, no boyfriend, a person in my life touched me inappropriately, very, and I was too shocked to do anything. I withdrew from everybody and just waited for my time to get out of Germany.
This person also had porn lying around, and kept trying to tell me that a blow job for a guy is the greatest. Needless to say, this really grossed me out.

DH enters the picture. Such a funny, gentle, damaged guy. He introduced me to giving blow jobs the way he likes them. Ten years later however, I know he never actually lets me do what he would like to have done. Does that makes sense?
Back to Kitty's post. He read it. He told me about it. I nod cause I had already read it.
"Do you feel that way about my cock?"
Blushing. "Well yeah, but I am not that good at describing it. Plus, I think she wrote that for the CWS challenge, and I am not part of that."
"Why not?"
Good question. In my mind I am thinking, mostly because I don't know if I am good enough for that yet, and honestly I hardly ever feel like a sub. I go with being honest.
"What do you mean you don't feel like a sub?"
DH had been working on being more vocal, letting it out, not thinking, enjoying, but most of the time, he just gets quiet, and then pulls away so he can fuck me. Lucky me, but I love to just give him pleasure too. Sometimes, its supposed to be just for him.
I told him most of this, then pointed him to Spanky's blog, and left the room to entertain the children so he would have some alone time to look, read, explore.

A few hours later, the stars aligned just right for us, the kids went to bed, and fell asleep, and my step son left to cook dinner for his new girl friend. Took a shower, put on some white panties, waited by the bed.

"You haven't really been a good girl lately, but I wouldn't say you were a bad girl either. Lean over the bed." And he started spanking me. He only used his hand, holding on to me with his other hand.
"You know I don't like it when you spank me" he said. Oops, I needed some attention and smacked his ass. I apologized and admitted I was trying to get his attention. Apparently that isn't a spanking offense anymore though, because he stopped, grabbed the new butt plug, and started to get me ready. He grabbed the lube, moved me around on the bed a little, and started to insert his finger, shortly after, he inserted the new plug.
"Get on all fours on the bed", which I did, "Mh, what a view. Stay like that, I will be back." And he left. I was alone, feeling the plug fill me deliciously. I felt myself getting more wet. I kept rolling my hips, getting more sensitive to everything by the second.

"Good girl, now come over my lap."
 He took me over his lap, and spanked me really hard, just with his hand, over and over, in the same spot.

"Okay, get off, and roll on your back. I want to try this new position I saw on that blog." The diaper position. I did, and he started spanking me again. Very intimate position. Being exposed. I like this position, although don't care for the name at all. DH kept getting distracted by the view though, panties long taken off, never to be seen again (I can't find them).

"Suck my cock" he said as he moved closer to my face. I did. Happily. I love how soft the skin on his cock is. Such soft skin over such a massive and hard cock. The head slipped into my mouth, I enveloped him, taking as much as I could. I pulled back, and he grabbed me by the hair and held me in place. As if I was done, which I was not. He held onto my hair, guiding me to take more, instructing me to take a big breath, let it out. "Such a good cock sucker", I moan, enjoying giving him pleasure. I let go of his cock, and start to lick his balls, taking them in my mouth, licking my way back to his cock, and letting him enter my mouth all the way. "You are a good girl. You love sucking my cock, don't you", unintelligible sound coming from me, I am greedily trying to get more into my mouth and throat without gagging. I gag, take a big breath and do it again. He pulls away, sliding his head and out of my mouth. "Leave it open, let me fuck your face", and I do.
And then he pulls away. I think he pulls away because he wants to make sure I get to come too. He pulls away because he doesn't think I would like him to cum on my face or in my mouth, and I think he pulls away because he realizes that I can't possible be doing what all those girls in porn always do. I am his wife after all. But I want to be his everything. I want him to be able to let go, take me however he wants to. I am his for the taking.

He did fuck me silly after that. And it was perfect, I am not complaining. But sometimes I would love to just give him pleasure, show him how much I love to suck his cock. Maybe after reading this, he will understand a bit better. I am not his exwife.
His cock is so beautiful, of course I want it in my mouth, in my pussy, slapping my breast, or entering my ass. I am all his.

Saturday, December 1, 2012


I formally accept Julia's challenge to have sex once a day! And, I'll make sure that at least one of us cums.  However, a little back story might be helpful to understand why that last condition applies.

Julia is German.  When we started our relationship, I promised her that I would get her back to Germany whenever possible, and that her friends and family were always welcome in our house.  Our favorite way of handling these trips is for her to go over with our girls a week or two ahead of me, and then I arrive to symbolically 'claim' my family and we all come home together on the same flight.  We do this because I can't afford to take 3 weeks off from work, but we want the girls to spend as much time in Germany speaking the language and enjoying our Deutsche Familie as possible.

Here's the rub: I have totally disconnected from her each and every time she's gone to Germany.

After a year of ttwd, I think I understand why that's happened.  I have connection issues in general, due (I believe) to my adoption as a baby.  When Julia has left for das Vaterland I've withdrawn, unconciously believing I would never see her again, even though I had a plane ticket to follow her just 2 weeks later.  I lacked the confidence to believe that our relationship is permenant.

Until now.

Our trust has deepened over the last year.  It's not always apparent how - we both find out in big and small ways.  Last night after we had finished making love fucking like crazy, I noticed how I was holding and touching her: I'm much more possessive and dominant when I touch her, but at the same time, much more considerate and gentle than I was before.  Julia used to describe me as 'polite,' but now I hope that she would say I'm much more genuine in how I touch her body.

I'm not sure how many times Julia came last night, but I was the big winner this morning.  I will keep posting status updates until the day she departs.

GOOP Update: she hasn't finished her week yet, so she will go running tomorrow!  Or it's the paddle for her.  No pressure.  ;)