Saturday, December 1, 2012

Accepted!



I formally accept Julia's challenge to have sex once a day! And, I'll make sure that at least one of us cums.  However, a little back story might be helpful to understand why that last condition applies.

Julia is German.  When we started our relationship, I promised her that I would get her back to Germany whenever possible, and that her friends and family were always welcome in our house.  Our favorite way of handling these trips is for her to go over with our girls a week or two ahead of me, and then I arrive to symbolically 'claim' my family and we all come home together on the same flight.  We do this because I can't afford to take 3 weeks off from work, but we want the girls to spend as much time in Germany speaking the language and enjoying our Deutsche Familie as possible.

Here's the rub: I have totally disconnected from her each and every time she's gone to Germany.

After a year of ttwd, I think I understand why that's happened.  I have connection issues in general, due (I believe) to my adoption as a baby.  When Julia has left for das Vaterland I've withdrawn, unconciously believing I would never see her again, even though I had a plane ticket to follow her just 2 weeks later.  I lacked the confidence to believe that our relationship is permenant.

Until now.

Our trust has deepened over the last year.  It's not always apparent how - we both find out in big and small ways.  Last night after we had finished making love fucking like crazy, I noticed how I was holding and touching her: I'm much more possessive and dominant when I touch her, but at the same time, much more considerate and gentle than I was before.  Julia used to describe me as 'polite,' but now I hope that she would say I'm much more genuine in how I touch her body.

I'm not sure how many times Julia came last night, but I was the big winner this morning.  I will keep posting status updates until the day she departs.

GOOP Update: she hasn't finished her week yet, so she will go running tomorrow!  Or it's the paddle for her.  No pressure.  ;)

16 comments:

  1. What a post - so much information and so much fun... it was like a whirlwhind post. I LOVE how you opted to cross out making love and put fucking like crazy instead of the other way around. It just gave me such a grin.

    Yes, the way H touches me after feels different now too. I am not sure if it is actually different, but it feels so much more secure and possessive. A happy side effect.

    Thanks for the post DH.

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    1. Hi Kitty - thanks for your comment! In a way, I'm fascinated by the 'discoveries' Julia and I seem to be making through ttwd. We thought we trusted each other before, but now I realize there are levels we've never even been to before. And yeah, 'making love' didn't seem adequate for what happened last night... ;)

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  2. Its amazing how everything comes back to confidence.

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  3. So happy you made the realization of disconnecting and now you are using it to solve the issue.

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    1. Hi sunnygirl - I've wrestled with this issue a lot in our marriage, even when a long trip isn't involved. Confidence has really helped!

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  4. I had a feeling you would rise to meet this challenge;) Hope you two have lots of fun getting Julia ready for the trip!

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    1. Hi Tess - ha ha, yeah, I hope the Viagra holds out... :-D

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  5. isn't it so liberating to have figured out what might be the cause of a stressy issue?

    good luck with the challenge!

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    1. Hi Fondles! Yep, it sure is! And, Julia is really helping me to stay focused on her and our marriage before she goes through this challenge. She's brilliant. :)

      We're still on track, challenge-wise, but I really blew it last night. I'm sure there's a blog post in there somewhere...

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    2. Well if by blew it you meant that you are still recovering from being sick and fell asleep, then yes you did. Otherwise we are not behind and you got a lot of sleep.

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    3. I think illness is a legitimate excuse. It gets a free pass and does not count when part of a challenge. So ... still on track!!

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  6. I have just found your site and have read a few posts. I am enjoying it - thank you! It's amazing how focusing on your relationship, determining root problems, then problem solving can be so eye opening and so full filing. Sex every day is WONDERFUL...no disconnection allowed!

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    1. Isn't finding new blogs just awesome? I know I always enjoying finding a new one that fits!

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  7. Hi SirQsmlb ~ thanks for visiting! Yep, our journey of discovery has been *very* fulfilling for both of us... :-)

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  8. Booking Buddy is the #1 travel booking search engine, that you can use to compare travel deals from the large travel booking sites.

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