Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Bullying in the Workplace

So. Here I am, thinking I want to blog, but not sure what to share. I should post something really hot so I don't loose any of my readers, or at least that is what keeps going through my mind, but I don't think that is actually true. I have had hot stuff happening here at our house, and it is blog worthy, but for some reason, I can't find the right story to write. Have you ever experienced that? Its not like it is writer's block, because, as you can see, I am writing....
Rock Hudson. Enough said.
Life is still not really back to normal. We are no longer jet-lagged, but life has caught up with us again. My school started again, and honestly, it is kicking my ass. Usually I don't let myself get overwhelmed, but this class really stresses me out. To top that off, DH has been dealing with his manager, who is an ass. I can say that, right? From a "cooperation virgin's" (that would be me, never having worked in a big organization like that) standpoint, I keep thinking, there should be someone DH can talk to to resolve this douchyness of his manager, but no, there really isn't. Which I find extremely unprofessional and wrong. If the manager is being a bully, shouldn't there be something the employee can do? This really pisses me off. DH has come so far over the last two years. His confidence has gone up so much, he actually strides now. Just walking around, he strides. In a sexy way. Really sexy.
And now he has to figure out how to handle his manager without loosing his job, which makes me really mad.

This morning our stars aligned just right (or his manager is requiring the entire team to have a meeting way late and DH stayed home this morning), and we had some fun time. Alone. No kids. Us awake. Not cold. You know....
So, I got a spanking. Finally. Followed by really steamy sex. I think taking charge of our little playtime this morning left DH feeling better too. Not even more confident, but just better about that whole situation going on at work. I am so happy I can offer him such a great distraction.

Just having written this post I feel myself relaxing a bit. I can take my mind off this now and put it toward understanding my schoolwork. I already went running this morning, so that is off my mental checklist too.

29 comments:

  1. There's usually a higher authority than just a manager in a large organization. My first thought would be human resources. If this manager is making it a hostile work atmosphere, they should be able to step in and mediate. Failing that, your husband should be able to go to whoever is over the manager.

    The problem with both of these situations is that there is a risk they could take the manager's side, especially if he's invaluable to the company in some way.

    If this bullying is done with all the employees under this manager, I would suggest your husband discretely seek out a few others to go with him when he makes his complaint. While a company may be able to overlook a single employee's dissatisfaction with a manager, they're not as likely to gloss over the problem if there are multiple employees complaining about the same issue.

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    1. Dana,
      thanks for your reply. My first thought was HR too, but once I did research on this issue, I now know that that is the biggest no no, since HR looks out for the company, not the employee.
      His manager's manager is not responding that much, and doesn't have time for DH until Feb. There is another person DH knows of, so maybe that is the way to go.
      Thank you for taking the time to write Dana.

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    2. Hi Dana - thanks for your comment. Our female program manager was my manager's first target for bullying, and there are a number of people who have left the company because of him. I'm not sure what his magical value is to the corporation, but I hope to attain that status someday. ;)

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  2. There's not always a response for it. We definitely have bullying going on at my work, and I don't take kindly to it. I've found that the best response to it (for me) is to ignore it as much as possible. Nothing makes a bully angrier than when you ignore them. In fact, last time, I turned around and complimented my bully on something. She was so stunned she didn't talk to me for a few days.

    Mentally, however, I'm picturing running a bus over her... and backing up to do it again.

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    1. I think I would be fairly good at ignoring, but I think this is more difficult for a guy, you know? Visions of peacocks with their feather up comes to mind...
      Thank you for commenting Rosie, DH really appreciates all these different responses.
      And he always imagines backing that bus up again a couple of times too!

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    2. Exactly! As a former passive/aggresive (and a HUGE fan of The Big Bang Theory), I'm taking a page out of Sheldon's playbook: every time my manager does something positive, I'm going to give him a compliment. Bullies can't resist empty flattery. :D

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    3. I think that is a great idea. I loved that episode! lol

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  3. ARGHHHH - this is the one thing that just sends me over the deep end.....bullies. Workplace bullies are intolerable, and yet somehow manage to carry on under the radar of their overseers....Now that I am an overseer, I sometimes wonder what I am not seeing.
    I have to agree with Rosie - ignoring them is brutal - they have to have a response. And complimenting them, especially if they don't think you are sucking up is really enjoyable.
    I think the best way I personally have ever dealt with a bully, is to model proper human interaction for them. Deep in the recesses of their minds, they know they are being *ssholes and when they see people being moral, ethic and kind, I think it shames them. They would like to be that way, if they were sociopaths.
    Good luck.
    hugs
    lillie

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    1. You know, growing up, I was one of the cool ones in school. Not cool like popular, but kind of too cool to touch, so I never had to worry about being bullied. I never would have thought this 'bullying' would continue into adulthood.
      Complementing them and really meaning it would be hard, but I can see how that would totally work.

      Thanks Lillie!

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    2. I've dealt with schoolyard bullies my whole life, and been the unfortunate victim on countless occasions. Now that I'm older and able to fend for myself, my complaint is that *anyone* is allowed to be a bully when they are in a position of power (I'm talkin' to you, Syria). Thanks for your comment! At some point, I want to write a blog post on being bullied, heh. ;)

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  4. I was going to suggest HR, but If that won't work, that stinks. Tell him to document everything!

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    1. Yeah, no HR. The article was very clear on that!
      Good tip, document everything.

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    2. Hi Elle - yes to documentation!

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  5. I'm with Elle. Document everything. I'm glad the writing helped. Good luck with your class.

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    1. Yes it did help. And I finished my homework for now and get to watch TV all by myself (DH is still at work). And evening to myself. Kind of weird.

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    2. Yep yep, thanks Zoe.

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  6. Workplace problems are just Yuk. There are usually no easy answers. Just be supportive of DH (and I know you are!). I am glad you got some alone time and good luck with your school, too. Hugs.

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    1. Yeah they really are yuk!
      Thanks Princess!

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    2. Agreed. And I'm officially looking for a new job!

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  7. I hate hearing there's a bully in the workplace :( It's really not a fun situation at all and of course, highly unproductive for the company. I hope the situation improves for DH. In the meantime, I'm glad you got some good fun time in :)

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    1. Thanks, Riley! I'm sure things will improve: either I'm going to master my manager, or I'm going to get a new job. Winning! ;)

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  8. I've definitely been there! Lots to write about but no desire to actually write. It ebbs and flows for me.

    I hope things get better for DH and the annoying manager!

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    1. Hi Tess, yep, it will. Julia has been so awesomely supportive, and I really appreciate all of the positive feedback! Thanks for your comment.

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  9. I don't really know what to say, I endured the same thing at my two previous jobs, I was getting to the point that I kind of felt that maybe I was the issue and that this is just the way the world works.

    Obviously I know better now. I think it really comes from an old school way of doing things, I call it "managing through fear".

    There is really no place for it in today's world, I feel most companies are way behind when it comes to dealing with these issues. Once former employees start suing for emotional abuse, and the courts side with them, we'll probably see a better response from companies when dealing with archaic management practices, or just plain old asshole people who are too immature to handle a position of authority.

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  10. Hi Ponyboy - yep, I totally agree, and I would DEFINITELY join an action against my current employer. Emotional abuse affects a whole family, so it's not just me getting compensation.

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  11. Workplace bullies are ridiculous! I'm sorry this is happening and I think you certainly know how to be there for DH. I hope the situation gets better soon!

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    1. Yes I do! And I know how to take his mind off work too. Works like a charm. Every time!

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  12. All I know Julia is that my MM has become a better leader and employee in general since we began ttwd. He also has an increased moral ethic and is careful in his responses to nastiness. I think you can be confident that DH is going to keep on handling this in the best way possible for himself and for all of you. He's strong!

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    1. You are right,and that is what I was trying to say in my post. DH has become such an amazing, stand up guy, who doesn't let people hurt him the way he used to anymore. And I really think it is because of ttwd. He has become more of a leader in the last year too, and people at his work have seen it too. So I hate that a bully is trying to stomp on him just because he is higher in the cooperation hierarchy.

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