Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Spanking Implement Review # 8

Description: Big Leather Paddle 

Intensity: Pretty stingy and can get very intense. The paddle is very flexible, which is nice, but DH has to watch out that he doens't come to close to my butt crack, otherwise the upper part goes all the way in. Very intense.

Sound level: Slappy, therefore kind of loud

Feeling during spanking: Stingy, not thuddy, quick

DH's comment: "Nice. I need to practice though, the aim is different and it is more floppy"

I have been trying to find, and wait, for the right story to happen so that I could write about this paddle. But life keeps getting in the way: Children throwing up all evening long, real life, tired, step son showing up unannounced. I have even gone so far as to ask for a spanking. Seriously. I have. Are you proud of me yet? I think I have come a long way, instead of withdrawing, and thinking he doesn't care or doesn't want to do ttwd anymore, I have asked for spankings. And yet still, things keep getting in the way.

Our ten year anniversary seems to have brought with it more trust and better communication. Our expectations of one another seem to either be met without having to say anything, or we talk about why they were not met. DH made it a rule that I don't question his commitment to ttwd anymore. 
With this rule came the realization (at least for me) that he really is committed. Making me feel taken care of, taken in hand. This is the whole point of taken in hand, isn't it? Knowing this, having realized this, is like his warm hand on my lower back, guiding me gently through crowds.
Last night, we were once again communicating without words, both realizing it at the same time. 
DH: "I wonder what the next ten years will bring. I mean how could this get better? Can couples reach an even better place?" 
Good questions right? DH and I are very lucky, but at the same time, we have worked hard at our relationship. To be where we are now, and I hope we get the chance to continue to work on our relationship, to grow together and as individuals.

The Paddle: I noticed DH always grabs our thinner leather paddle, for every single spanking. Don't get me wrong. I am not complaining. I like that paddle too.  But I figured I would look into different shapes of leather paddles, and found this one on eBay  I gave it to DH a day early for our Valentines Day. I suck at keeping secrets from him, therefore I gave it to him early. 
I have to admit, DH looked intimidated. "This is a big paddle love, are you sure?"
"Well it is leather, and I know you like the other one a lot. You don't want to try?" I could hear myself sounding a bit disappointed. 
He looked down at the paddle in his hands again, trying it out on his palm. It sounded slappy. He tried out how far it bends, how to hold it. Then turned to me.
"Okay, turn around, bend over the couch" (Not the arm of the couch, just arms out and put my hands on the arm of the couch).
And he tried it over my jeans.

It was a quick spanking, to the point. It was kind of loud (the spanks), and I could see the potential of the paddle to be very stingy.

DH tried this paddle again during our weekend. Naked this time, as in no jeans or panties to soften the blows. 
I like this paddle. It is bigger than the other leather one, therefore it covers more, and it kind of distributes the spank more than the thinner one we have. That one can be very painful, the thin two-inch-wide leather often hurts a lot in just one spot. This one is more of a all-of-my-ass-got-spanked feeling. 
I am glad we own this paddle. I am looking forward to getting better acquainted with it, although I am sure, I will wonder why I ever wrote that next time I am over DH's lap, getting the daylights smacked out of my butt. But until now, well worth the purchase.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Picture Friday - Lingerie Edition

This week was kind of a blur. After our weekend getaway, DH had Monday off too, but went back to work on Tuesday. And even though we were able to maintain our connection, normal life just gets you back too quickly. Makes me wish we were rich and DH could stay home every once in a while at least. Lol.
And the count of bloggers on my blogroll who decided to take a break, or stop all together, went up to four in just one week. Making me sad. Usually I love change, but not when it means this. :(

Something cheerful is needed for sure! Therefore

Picture Friday - Lingerie Edition!
Love. Just the right length.


How sexy is this? I mean really!

I love the simplicity of this one. And I own this one too. And DH really likes it, I have worn this twice now, and ended up getting fucked silly in it. lol.

I think DH would like this view. He is not much for stockings, but I think he has also never seen any on e a real woman.
Love the lace, and I like the corset too, especially because it is not too tight.
This is sexy, this pic tells such a story, without giving away too much. Love!

Which one is your favorite?
Happy Friday my fellow bloggers! 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Sexy Getaway Weekend

Thank you for the lovely well wishes for our weekend, I really appreciate you guys.
Two of my favorite bloggers decided to stop blogging today. On the same day. I am sad to see them go, not hear from them anymore. Very sad. Nothing ever stays the same I guess.

You know when you first think of going away for a weekend, you plan what it could be like: Having sex all weekend long, sleeping however long you want to, shopping, being adults, beautiful hotel room, big bath tub, more sex, shopping, browsing, doing nothing? At least that is how I envisioned our weekend. Throw in some more sex and some spanking, and I will call it the best weekend ever.

Which we had. It really was the best weekend ever. It was perfect. I got over my period just in time, big smile, the kids were dropped off and DH and I drove to our hotel. It was already 7 pm by the time we finally made it into our suite, we looked around, and went out to dinner and a horrible, horrible movie. When we finally decided on a place to eat, it was to walk in to the restaurant and having flashbacks. I had been there before. I looked at DH, and asked him if we had been there before. Slowly, our memory of the evening was coming back. We had been there before having kids. Such a lovely memory to find again. We had drinks, well I did, and just had the best time.

We came back to the hotel room, and we took a bath at 11.30 in the evening, unheard of for me. Way past bedtime. DH washed me, very thoroughly. And we ended up having sex for like two hours. Lets just say that the CWS February Challenge is going great!

We slept in for as long as we could, 8.30, lol, got up, took a shower together, went to get coffee, and just hung out in the hotel room, talking. How often do you ever just sit with your loved one and talk? No distractions, phones, emails, tv, internet, children, pets? Lovely.
Drinking Starbucks in Seattle...
After more sex (Oh yeah!), we went downtown, explored the market, all with a guiding hand on my lower back. We were so in tune to one another. It was amazing being able to just be together, do anything we want, and most of all, do only things that we want to do. We explored for hours, came back to the hotel room, took another bath/shower, relaxed, had more sex, and then went back to the same restaurant for yet another dinner. The first movie had left us feeling a bit cheated, and we decided to skip a second movie, and just enjoy each other.

Once back at the hotel, I surprised DH with a new see-through black baby doll nighty/dress. I put on a black see through thong underneath, the thong had white trim, which he could see even better. I danced a little for DH, made sure to bend over whenever he asked. DH was very in charge this weekend. I felt very possessed. Owned. Used. Perfect.
Our big dreamy hotel bed.

We roll-played. Something new for us. But it is quickly turning into something we both enjoy. Will probably explore that more in another post.
The last morning, we once again went to get coffee, came back, took a shower, and DH had me get into my whole costume. Black lacy push up bra, underwear of his choice, in this case a white tanga, my school girl skirt,  white stockings, white button down blouse, his black tie. I had changed in the bathroom, and came out very slowly, showing a little leg, and taking it right back...He enjoyed the show. He approved of my underwear. He always makes a big show of whether or not he approves. 
We played for hours. I think I gave him the sloppiest blow job ever, and I don't think I have ever seen DH this present, commanding, and turned-on. He gave me a spanking with the new paddle I had surprised him with for Valentine's Day. I feel an implement review in my future! 

All in all, I wish all my friends could have a  weekend like ours. It was unbelievable, just a tad too short, of course. I am glad we didn't miss anything, we didn't forget any toys, and made sure to use all of them. A lot. The butt plugs got a lot of use, the paddle some, but most of all, we just enjoyed each other's company and body's. It is amazing that ten years bring with it this amazing feeling of being home, wherever you are together. 
One more thing, before we left, my best vanilla friend send me a text, telling me to have a great time, and to not forget the massage oil. DH and I laughed so hard. It was just so sweet of her, when in reality, we had two carry-on sized backs full of naughty stuff with us. And we used all of it at some point.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Picture Friday!

Packing for our Sex Weekend Getaway.

Looking forward to some of this,

Lots of this,

And this.......

And of course,

Have a great weekend Everybody!

Daddy's girl - A repost!

A repost! DH read this the other day again, and said I have to repost it because it was a great post and only got two comments. So here it is.
Meanwhile we are leaving today for our sex weekend! I am so excited!

 Everybody - Have a great weekend!

When I first found the Taken in Hand website, I was amazed and a little embarrassed how much it spoke to me to have a male led marriage. To let the man take charge.

I was embarrassed at liking it, but at the same time, I couldn't stop reading stories and articles. Some spoke to me more than others, but the discipline ones spoke to me the most. Which of course embarrassed me even more. I spend most of that day not doing my homework, but instead reading article after article.

Later that night, lying in DH arms, I had to tell him. We have always tried to be honest with each other, no matter what. To me this one was a BIG one. I had to tell him, after all, if it spoke to me as much as it did, I was sure DH would need to hear about it.

Back story time (Anyone watch Phineas and Ferb?): When I first came to this country and into his house, I found his porn stack, because he really didn't hide it that well. He is still not a great hider. Anyway, one of his porn was about spankings.

I was lying in his arms, tucked in safely, it was dark and I was wide awake. But I had no idea how to bring it up. DH knew something was going on, and just gave me time. After I finally told him, he asked me if I meant domestic discipline, and I guess I did. I was mortified. I mean how could a modern woman want this type of relationship when women of previous generations fought so hard for us to be where we are today?

Sometimes I still get embarrassed at wanting this. When DH asks me if I need a spanking for example. How can I answer that? Of course I do! But I don't want to say it out loud, I am still embarrassed some of the time I guess. And this embarrassment always leads me to daddy issues. I mean, am I this way because I have buried daddy issues?

Until I was about three years old, he lived with us, and I know I was a daddy's girl. My dad was the biggest man in the world, he was my hero, he protected me from my big sister, and I was going to marry him, no question about it. Then he left. And by left, I really mean he left us. I remember running after him and standing at the gate, seeing him drive away. I remember always thinking that he will come back for me and safe me from my big sister, who loved to be mean and even cruel at times to me. Over the next few years, I would cry and watch the street, because I knew he would come back for me.

He didn't. Sometimes he would write me letters, but never actual letters that a child could understand, but poems. They didn't mean anything to me, I couldn't understand them, and at some point I just gave up.

When I was about 12, he reappeared, but he wasn't the same guy anymore. He was beaten down, not standing tall anymore as it were. He had been in prison for fraud, and was out of money. My mom offered to let him live in an RV on our property, and that is where he was. But he wasn't my father, not really anyways. He wouldn't act like it. The best I can describe his role in our lives back then now would be that he was our property keeper. He did all the manly work outside, the yard, the horse pastures, but he wasn't around for us to talk to really.
When I was 13, I had my first boyfriend, my first big love. We had sex, and planned our lives together. Don't they all? Of course, big surprise, he broke my heart. A lot. Over and over. And I let him. I didn't have a father who looked out for me, and told this guy to stay away, my father actually came and picked me up from his house, and never said anything. What kind of a father does this? Watch a guy break your daughter's heart over and over? Maybe he felt he had no right, but even that doesn't excuse it.

I think this is really where this dynamic I crave comes in. When I found TiH, I craved this feeling of being taken care of. The feeling of a man taken me in hand, watching out for me, caring enough about me to discipline me if necessary.

My father disappeared when I was 17, out of our lives. Poof. When I was 22, I found out online that he had died. I don't really regret not having tried harder, because I was the child and he the adult. He obviously didn't want to find me, talk to me, or have any kind of relationship.

DH knows all this about me. My daddy issues do not define me anymore like they used to, but when I have my days, he will hold me and is just here for me.

He actually just walked in and I told him what my blog post is about.

DH: See, I am afraid that you won't want this dynamic anymore once you get over your daddy issues.

Me: I am over my daddy issues, you know that. And this isn't like a hole that needs to be plugged  and then I am "normal" again. I want this.

DH: I know you think you do. I just hope that is true.

But daddy issues do not define me anymore. I am a grown woman, I have a wonderful husband, we have been together for a long time now, and we have two beautiful children. My daddy issues really are not that important anymore.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Hump Day

I woke up today, and knew my day was going to be horrible. Errands, homework, getting ready for our sex weekend, and don't forget cooking dinner tonight. I just didn't want to get up. I snuggled up to DH, trying to keep the dawning day out. "It's hump day!" DH proclaimed. Yeah it is, but I just started my period, crampy, and I have a scratchy throat, so no humping for me. God, how I wish I felt like humping, fucking, worshiping or being worshiped.

We got up in time to get DH out the door with coffee. I got dressed and finally ready to get this day started, when I started looking for my keys. You know, you need a car to do errands, at least where I live, and without keys, that might make it pretty hard. 
DH took my keys and his today. DH simplified my day tremendously. I love it. A forced day in which I can't do anything out of the house. Big smile!

We had a good weekend, really good. Maintenance on its new night, Saturday went really well. DH also added a new rule. This new rule though, I really had to let it swirl around in my head first. I had asked DH if we could include some eating rules a long time ago. When we first started ttwd, I told him this would be something I would be interested in. I do tend to stress eat, and sneak. I sneak food in. Really bad habit. I think this started because my mother would always have all the candy in her room, when she left, she locked her door. Therefore we always had to ask for candy, and if she wasn't there, tough shit. If she was there, but I didn't want to ask her because I knew she would say no, I sneaked into her room, and made wrappers disappear. I still do that. I don't know why. Maybe I am a little embarrassed to be eating that late, that food, or whatever, main point, I still do it. So DH added a new rule. No more sneaking. Sounded simple enough when I was lying over his lap, but the next morning, we talked about it again, and I realized how brilliant this rule is. He is not forbidding me to eat, he is asking me to not sneak the food in. Does that even make sense to you guys?! lol

So now instead of sneaking food, I try to make conscious decisions about what I put in my mouth and why. This rule really has/had me thinking a lot and I am still a bit in awe of my husband for having figured this out about me. And I feel grateful for having such a wonderful husband. 

My mother just called to inform me that I am an aunt again, this time to a little girl. She just arrived. I am so happy for my little sister, although I really wish I was in Germany. To see my niece, but especially my sister. I really miss her. Our time together was just so amazing this last time I went, and for the first time in years, I wish I was in Germany more often.

So, to leave my awesome readers with something positive, I would like to have everyone leave me a comment with things I shouldn't forget for our sex weekend! I am thinking implements, sexy underwear, toys....what is the one thing you would take if this was your weekend away with your SO? 

Friday, February 8, 2013

Picture Friday - Sexy Hair Edition

Kind of like this, only longer
As some of you may know by now, I love my hair. lol. I come by it honestly though, my mom always loved my hair, and always did my hair, not my big or little sister's though. I have very thick and curly hair, that is also very fine. If that makes sense. Well I guess the translation to that is: I have a lot of hair!
I like to braid my hair, all over my head, pin it in different positions, and generally love to try around. DH loves it when I straighten my hair, and he especially loves it when I wear pig tails. Big shocker right?
So, here are some pics of hair styles I just love!

Her hair is just so gorgeous cascading down her back!

I can braid a crown braid like this, just not on myself yet.

I often have my hair just like this.

I often braid my hair like this, sideways down.

What about you guys? What do you like? What kind of hair do you find sexy?

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Ten Year Anniversary Eve Spanking

Ten yeas ago today, DH and I went to a judge in Seattle and got married. We didn't tell anyone, except for my mom, who asked me several times over the phone if I thought this was a good idea. I was 18 years old, looking back at it, I can see her worries. Nobody in his family knew he married me that day, and we didn't tell them for a while. But after about a year, they started asking how I could still be here legally, and if maybe, we had already married. Then his children found out, freaked out more about us, and my step-son, the 21 year old who has been living here on and off again lately, started comparing our ages. "When I was 2 Dad, Julia was only 10". He just kept making these comparisons. When that didn't work, he would start getting meaner, and would tell his Dad, that when he dies, he (stepson) would marry me.
DH would never let that boy talk like that anymore. I kind of wish for my stepsons sake, that DH had been more confident 20 years ago, because I don't think stepson would have turned out as screwed up. But it is too late. Well not too late, but he is screwed up. Back to my post.
Today is DH and my ten year anniversary. And I think this is the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I am a happy woman today, and have been. I feel like this weekend, I really figured something out. I need to trust DH to want to do ttwd as much as I do. I am trusting my husband.

My mother just called. She was so happy for me. She never reached a ten year anniversary with any of her three husbands, with the last one not even acknowledging anniversaries. I am such a lucky lady. This morning, we woke up snuggled up to each other, his leg over both of mine, me pinned really close to him. Our beautiful children were so excited for our anniversary that they had gotten up early, and decorated the house with pictures they had been working on. And then DH gave me a beautiful gift (necklace pictured below).
We listened to this song in the background. This song is just so perfect. The most beautiful song. Really.

Last night, once I got our of the shower, I kneeled in front of DH, and asked if I may suck his cock. Which I did. He also finally figured out that there is a CWS February Challenge, lol. (I am up to, okay, I have to admit, I don't know, but he has let me worship every day)
 I like challenges like this, not because I am competitive  because I am really not at all, but because it is fun, and helps me focus on what is important.

After, DH had me lie over his lap, and spanked me. He called it the Ten Year Anniversary Eve spanking. I thought that was funny. He spanked me with his hand, to the point of me struggling. He has been really good at this: He spanks me really long, he told me this morning, that he never wants to hear that he didn't spank me enough again. (I cannot say that anymore, trust me). While I am over his lap, he will stroke my bottom, and then start spanking. First, I always just feel "so perfect" right there, then that feeling turns to "ouch". Then to "trying to relax, breathe through it, he will stop soon", to "oh god", then move on to tangling my feet under something to keep them from moving. Then I start struggling. Seriously struggling. But when he grabs my wandering hand, and I feel him holding me tight, I relax, and bear it until he says we are done.

I love my husband, I love how he knows so many things about me, and I love how he knows some things about me better than even I do. I think this is amazing. He is amazing. I am such a lucky lady.
And to top it all off, DH and I have a whole weekend coming up with just the two of us. We are thinking hotel room, sex, big tub, sex, spanking, downtown fun, sex, spankings, sex, no kids, sex, spankings, taking toys, fun, sex, new butt plug, skirts, white panties, music, fun, and more sex!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

A challenging start

I wasn't too excited about this weekend to start. I was not feeling like I was in the right  place emotionally, and certainly not where DH seemed to be. Our continuing dance of me wanting more ttwd, and him not following through continued for me, leading me to question why I wanted this, and how selfish of me to ask that much more of him, when he has his own issues going on at work. Issues I didn't even want to hear about anymore. How selfish of me. Leading to feelings of guilt, and maybe even giving up on even wanting this anymore. I mean DH and I have a great life together, so why put this extra thing on our relationship, if all it does, is cause me to feel neglected and alone and guilty.

Tuesday is our ten-year anniversary  and then just a few days later is Valentine's Day, so we always feel like February is for just for the two of us. Spanky suggested this CWS February Challenge, and I figured why not. The last challenge I set for DH and I worked out great, and was a lot of fun. If nothing else, it will bring me into the right head space, and maybe even DH.

It didn't start off very gracefully, there was some turning down involved, but we pulled it off the first night, ending with DH getting me off my knees, turning me around, unbuckling my pants, and fucking me hard. The second evening, in a different part of the room I might add, was different:

First off, yesterday I went and got waxed for the first time. I am all smooth and bald. Feels great. DH and I felt a little more connected, and we could see what was needed. We communicated all day even though we were both running different errands, and we both looked forward to the evening activities, although I was anxious to see if I would be too sensitive down below.

And I think we figured out what goes wrong between us: I need it more often than he does. DH can go weeks in between without focusing on ttwd. I need it more, I need to feel it, one way or the other, and when I don't, I start to doubt. Which means basically, I start to not trust DH I guess. Trust him tom want this too, and do it. So I got a new rule yesterday. I may not question ttwd anymore. First I thought it was ridiculous. I mean, you can't forbid me to feel that way, but as he explained it more, and especially now sitting here the next morning, it makes sense. Next, he had me climb over his lap, and lay across his legs. He spanked me, for a while. For the sexy parts, go to the CWS blog:

I think I have learned a bit more this weekend, not just that waxing your vagina doesn't hurt as much as expected, but also, that I need to trust my man. I will work on that.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Picture Friday!

I love his expression. So sure of what he is doing. Very sexy!
She looks so safe right there. Safe and Protected
Tom Cruise.....
I thought this one was funny.
Happy Friday Everyone!