Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Need to Procreate!

My step son just informed us that we are to be grandparents. Yeah, you heard that right, Grandparents! So I called DH at work yesterday and greeted him with "Hi Granddad!". We were not as surprised as I thought we would be. His son has been hinting at this for a while now, and I guess it finally worked.
Although, it is still very early.
But this led me to think about us humans. Aren't we fascinating?! I remember wanting a child, a baby, my baby. That longing was so strong. The longing for my own family, something that will connect me forever to my partner. That urge was so strong, but I could keep it at bay. I mean I was 19, no age to start a family, right? I was attending college, I was busy. Well my little sister found out she was pregnant though, something clicked inside me, and that was it for me. I think DH could tell, he could tell that the longing was no longer just a longing, but our lives had shifted and that was what happened next.
We were lucky, I checked when I should be most fertile, and we did it twice a day for a few days, and wam bam! We were pregnant. I have never regretted it, ever. Leading to my step son.
Even though we have never gotten along that great because he was a very difficult and jealous little boy, as he grew bigger, moved in with his mom, and was fed all kinds of terrible things about DH and my relationship by his mother, his relationship with me and DH deteriorated. That is, until she couldn't handle him anymore, and all of the sudden, she was telling him that the best thing for everybody would be for him to be with us.
We took him in, and it didn't work out. It was horrible.
Now at 21, he kind of lives with us, at least his stuff does, and he calls our home home, but he is staying with his girl friend. Which is okay with DH and I. We are happy we have been able to repair our relationship with him, we are happy he lets us help him, but at the same time we expect him to financially support himself, and now, also his girl and baby on the way.
The point of this blog is, that I understand him and her. I understand that longing to start a family. To have somebody that will be only yours to take care of and love. I understand it. But now with age (oh yeah, all 28 years), I can see beyond the longing and think of the responsibility of having a child. What it takes, not just the money, but never having a moment to yourself when you could really use it. Having to parent together with your husband, figure it out, not discourage anyone. I really hope this works out for him. He deserves some much needed happiness, but at the same time, I know that having a baby is work. Its hard.
This is how humans are designed though, isn't it? Wanting and needing to procreate? That longing. I am sure you guys can relate. Right?
I feel like DH and I have been doing a pretty good job with his son lately, and if his girlfriend really is pregnant and everything is okay, I feel like we started a good foundation for our future relationship.


23 comments:

  1. Congratulations! I'm not at the point of grandchildren yet - still have children under the age of 10 so its awhile, but that's fabulous news.

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    1. I have two under seven too, just have my older step son and daughter too!

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  2. Congratulations! I completely understand the urge... I've had it since about 16. I knew I wasn't mature enough, so I ignored it as best I could. When I was 21 and my 18yr old cousin was pregnant, I was vividly jealous. Now that I have my own place and a full time job and the man of my dreams, that need is loud and clear. Still, I refuse to bring a child into this world until I am fully able to support it, so I'm waiting... and waiting... and waiting...

    Congrats to your stepson and his girlfriend! What a wonderful, hard, beautiful, challenging experience they're entering. I wish them the best and hope everyone is happy and healthy! :)

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    1. Wow! You have been doing an amazing job then not letting your hormones take over, I remember when my sister announced it, and I was just done waiting.

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  3. Congratulations! That is wonderful news. Wishing the very best to your stepson and girlfriend.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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  4. Hello grandma

    Yes there is a need to procreate I believe it is in our DNA and it's fun trying don't you think? :)

    Bob

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    1. Yes, it is fun, but I am sure it is just fun because we need to do it, don't you think? build into our DNA...

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  5. Congratulations on becoming grandparents! You will be a very, very young grandma, Julia. :-)

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    1. Yes, one of the only bright spots about that! Lol. DH's ex wife will throw a fit, I am sure.

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  6. Congratulations to you Grandma! Blessings to your family.

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  7. Congratulations, Glam-ma!

    I have had the urge to grow my family, and DH is finally on board. I'm trying not to get to anxious about "when" it happens...TRYING. It's a whole different longing then just "someday" wishes.

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    1. Well happy Trying! You will most likely remember that trying for the rest of your life! And it is different isn't it? You go from protecting against anything that could happen to wanting things to happen!

      Happy Trying to get Pregnant!

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  8. Congratulations! That's such fun news! :)

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  9. Congratulations to you both! Always very exciting to have a baby in the family.

    ~PB

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    1. Yes we are very excited, even though there is a ton of drama that goes with barely-out-of-teen pregnancies....

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    2. Yes, they might need a little more help than the average new parent, but hopefully they embrace the responsibility.

      ~PB

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    3. Well I hope you and your family are doing well!

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    4. We are great, thanks for asking! Wasn't sure you would recognize the initials.

      ~PB

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    5. Glad to hear it, and actually, I read right over the PB the first two comments I published and then I saw the PB....:)

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