Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Things That Make Me Cum

Short job search update: DH has had at least 12 interviews now, and had a third one with one company today: He was asked to come in for a 4th one sometime this week. We received so much positive feedback from friends in real life and here in blogland; I know we both feel very fortunate. Thank you guys, for your well wishes, and positive thoughts send our way. We definitely felt them!
Also, my first blog anniversary came and went by. I have really enjoyed this past year, I love seeing personal growth, and even blog growth, I love how I have found my groove, and some lovely blogs to follow!

Things That Make Me Come

Sabotage Times
Kitty wrote a very thought provoking post. "Things that make me come" which made me think of my sexual history.
My sexual urges started when I was eleven, I started touching myself, but I remember it never got me anywhere. Then I discovered softcore porn on German TV on Saturday nights. Movies like the Schulmaedchen Report (google it too, lots of clips you can watch) and I would try to stay up late to watch it. This did get me somewhere. :) And after, I would immediately turn it off and be grossed out by myself.
Until the next time...

My first boyfriend, I was 13, he was 15, and I had lots of sex, but I never actually came with him. I just could never do it. He tried, but ultimately it didn't matter enough and he just wanted to get some. He didn't take the time to figure out what was keeping me from relaxing. I still masturbated, usually to images of that boyfriend and I doing something that we never actually did. And even if we had, it hadn't felt like it felt in my fantasy.

From 15 to 18 I was very depressed, the boyfriend broke my heart and I didn't get over it. I most likely masturbated to some fantasy of him, sometimes to another 'man' (so young, not really man yet). Still very innocent fantasies like doing it doggy style and letting loose during sex - actually reaching climax.

I met DH when I was 18, and we started having sex within a month of knowing each other. It bothered him that I never came during sex. The more it bothered him, the more I felt pressured about it, and of course didn't come during sex, but he would get the dildo and just take his time with me, paying attention to me, and reassuring me.
As the first few months went by, and we got to know each other a bit better, I learned that DH had a
serious drinking problem. Don't ask me how I hadn't know it until then, I don't know. I guess I had never really been exposed to anyone having an issue with addiction and didn't think about it. I soon discovered I felt more relaxed having sex with the drunk DH simply because he wouldn't remember the next day, plus he would really get into it during sex. We role played. Mister/Little Girl. It was hot. We were carefree, his kids didn't live with us anymore, and he had a good job. We could play that in the whole house not worrying about a thing. I didn't masturbate much those days as I remember.

Five years ago, when I was 24, we just had our second child, and he used condoms (biggest buzz killer in the universe). Our sex life was very sporadic, and I read a lot of romance novels. A lot. Being home with kids, especially babies, I remember reading a lot. Lora Leigh, and tamer romance novels without that much sex. I masturbated more often as DH was playing WoW. His son had moved back in with us. I fantasized about being desired, wanted, and taken.

During his last unemployment, we did have more sex again, simply because he was home more and had the big V! I was still reading a fair amount of romance novels, and still masturbated more regularly than not, but we also had sex pretty often. We were starting to try out some things again, started having anal sex, and letting go, relaxing. Slowly the wanting and needing of him to be more dominant was starting to appear within me. I craved his dominance although spanking never entered my mind. Until about a year and a half ago. Isn't that crazy?

Last month, DH took me over his lap and spanked me, lectured me on something, fairly sternly, then I sucked his cock and teased him. I enjoyed the pleasure I was giving him, the look I get from him just for me. He had shaved his balls that day, and he felt so smooth as I glided along his thick, throbbing
cock, down to his full balls, just to come back up again and take him all the way in my mouth.
When he couldn't wait any longer because I had been teasing him so much, he put a pillow under my hips, I lay on it, and he slowly entered me all the way in, slowly, but to the hilt. The feeling of fullness, and trust in this man overcame me, I let lose and I came. He looked at me, feeling my pussy clenching him tight, and he started pulled out a few more times only to enter all the way again. He came within a few strokes as well. He held me very tight, and kissed my forehead.

That is what I have been thinking about lately when I masturbate. I still masturbate because life is not always making it easy on us, with back pain, periods that come more often then they should, step children, and just life in general. Masturbating is healthy in my opinion, it keeps the motor going. And how lucky am I to be fantasizing about my husband and my own sex life???!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Unemployment and TTWD - A duet

Unemployment - When I think of it, I think back to 2009/2010, the American economy was so down, I was sure everybody felt the way we did, but after it started to recover in the last two years, I have talked to many people who never realized how bad it was/is for some families.
In our case, we were all healthy, and we never had to go hungry, but there was no money, we borrowed a lot of money from credit cards as well as family. We are almost done paying off these credit cards now, family still wants money, so you can understand that when I heard DH lost his job, I was unsure. I got into my car, and drove downtown to go get him. About 40 minutes of a drive. Alone. No music. Rain. And a lot of time to think.
Seattle in the rain, and no, this was in the middle of the afternoon.
During the drive, I am not proud, there was some despair, tears, doubt, and not much positive thinking going on. But as I got off the freeway, I realized that this will set the tone of how we handle this situation. If I pick him up, crying and losing faith in him and us, that is most likely going to set a really bad tone for what is coming next. 
I pulled up to where I saw him standing, turned off the car, and waited for him to come into the car. I told him that I love him, trying to figure out how he is doing. Depression wise. Anger wise. Anything wise, really. 
And he was okay. We talked, made plans, held hands. I asked him if he was ready to go home and leave that place behind him. He was, and he got into the driver's seat and took us home.
During the drive home, I felt mostly calm, which freaked me out a bit. I mean, who just feels calm during something like this? I told him, and he smiled. DH smiled an hour after being laid off. 
"That is because we are so much stronger my love, you trust me, you trust me to lead us, to not check out and hide behind the depression." And he is right.
Since then, he has had several leads, some phone interviews (one right now behind me, I am wearing headphones), a lot of family time, fun, sex, spankings, sunshine, and just enjoying each other. 
I have gone into freak-out-mode a few times, but he caught it right at the start, and nipped it in the butt. Literally. 

I love this post, already.  :)  Julia's right, it has really been better this time around, and the difference has been confidence.  During my phone interview this morning, the recruiter asked me some technically-oriented questions that would have rattled me a couple of years ago.  Before I became more confident as a HoH, I used to get the "deer in the headlights syndrome" on a regular basis: someone would ask me a question I should know the answer to, and I wouldn't be able to answer because I didn't think I could.  But now I know I have the answers, and that I'm competent.  It wasn't ever a question, really, just a lack of confidence.

Julia and I have agreed to keep a positive attitude throughout this experience.  It's not fun to lose a job, but at the same time, there's no point in feeling sorry for ourselves.  When I catch one of us going there, I crack down immediately and correct the behavior, because it just doesn't help.
On Monday (my first official day without a job), Julia started to lose it. She heard the water running in the shower, and assumed that I was taking a shower instead of looking for a job as I had promised.  (Like he used to do last time around, for hours he would be in that shower) She burst into the bathroom, ready to accuse me, and I was merely cleaning the sink.  (Oops)

Julia: Oh, I thought you were in the shower not looking for a job. (SHIT, I may be in trouble)
Me: Nope.  Now I want you to go into the closet and get down on your knees and wait for me.
Love Incarnate
Julia: What?  (She looked guilty, and a little concerned.) (I felt guilty, and caught actually, and bad for not believing in him apparently)
Me: You are not trusting me to do what I said.  Wait for me in the closet.
I finished my chore in the bathroom, and found her in the closet with her pants and panties pulled down, on her hands and knees, with her beautiful bottom high in the air. 

"Good girl."

As I spanked her, I lectured her on how we need to trust each other, and maintain a positive attitude.  And, that I will get a new job that I like to support our family.  I helped her back up, gave her a hug, and returned to looking for work.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Why to Spank your Wife

Hi, DH here! This is post is a long-overdue follow-up to my how to spank your wife post.

I think the hardest part of our dynamic for me has been really understanding that Julia isn't just acting submissive, she is submissive.  She really does need my loving guidance and leadership in our marriage.  And that is really the key: it's within the context of our marriage.  She could handle her life just fine
without me.

And yet, she submits to me as her HoH.  I have the final say on all family decisions.  Although she handles paying the bills, major financial decisions are mine.  I set the rules for her, and I expect them to be followed.  It's that we agree on this arrangement that makes this thing we do work for us.

I've become fascinated by ttwd, and the effect it's had on my marriage with Julia, and also the effect it has had on me as a person. Looking back, it seems clear to me that my new confidence in my own abilities and strength have allowed me to make the best decisions I could have made in a very tough year. The validation? I just got a raise! (And a week later "let go".)

Spanking your wife affirms your strength and dominance and gives you confidence that helps you in every area of your life.

I know Julia has benefited as well. She started running in the last year, and has kept her commitment through rain, shine, backaches, and family visits. Today, I agreed to implement a new rule: if she misses a day of running, regardless of the reason, I'll give her 7 swats with her least favorite implement, the wooden paddle. On the surface of it, that sounds pretty caveman-ey on my part. But the truth is that Julia wants it that way, so that having the threat of swats hanging over her head will "help get back into running again" after a break.

Spanking your wife helps her build confidence and character, and motivation to complete tasks.

Sometimes, our dynamic requires that I discipline Julia for breaking one of our rules. Our rules represent the contract on which we've developed and based our trust. Violations of that trust cause hurt feelings through unmet expectations. To clear the air, I spank Julia to discipline her. I lecture her during the spanking about how important the rule is, and how I need to be able to trust her to follow the rule. I ask her if she agrees, and we talk if necessary. But by the end of the spanking, the issue is resolved and doesn't bother us anymore.

Is it somewhat hypocritical for the man to spank the wife for an infraction, and get to skate by blamelessly when he screws the pooch? Yep. You don't want to be that guy, trust me. Nothing feels worse than the reproach I've seen in Julia's eyes, when I've let her down. But I'm the man. There's nothing I can do except admit when I'm wrong, apologize when it's necessary, and return to running my household.

Spanking your wife provides her discipline when she breaks the rules and enforces your authority as head of the household.

I'm also fascinated by the evolution of human behavior. Julia and I are currently watching the series Mad Men on Netflix. The first season is set in 1960, and every episode crackles with the tension between men and women. The men are men, and their attitudes are reflected in the jokes they tell: "I got a phone call at the bar saying my wife gave birth, and now I gotta pay for college!"  Men pride themselves on being strong, and weaker men are preyed on, even as they fantasize out loud about being more manly themselves.

Fifty years later, it feels like evolution. In many ways, we just don't think the way we did. Roles between men and women have changed as a result of the feminism movement, which has established the basic truth that women deserve equal rights. 'Cause they're, you know, people. Like men. The article that Julia posted sounds funny today, but the guy that said that men would be sorry when they stopped spanking their wives was right: men voluntarily gave up the right to lead their households. My generation wasn't taught how to have a relationship with a woman, because of the rapid social changes that were going on in the 1970's. I think men conceded their authority in relationships, and the result has been broken families.

Don't get me wrong: I don't think a ttwd/spanking relationship is right for everyone. It requires consent, consistency, trust, and mutual agreement between both parties. But I believe that the taken in hand movement is almost an unconscious human expression of an evolutionary trait that we're not ready to leave behind.

Spanking your wife could be a human trait that shouldn't be left behind, at least for people who need and thrive on it.

What do you think about why you should spank your wife? Or as a wife, why you should be spanked? ;)

Friday, April 19, 2013

Picture Friday - Recently Unemployed Edition

So, if the title isn't giving it away yet, you guessed it, DH is recently unemployed again. As of yesterday. 
Instead of dwelling on all the things that could happen when the main breadwinner is suddenly without a job, we have not been going there, and had a great family evening last night, followed by all you see below.
Happy Friday everybody.
Oh, and please remind me of thinking positive in case I start posting all negative things....
Found at

I don't generally like the riding position, facing him or facing away from him, but last night, I made sure to be comfortable, and sure enough, I didn't feel as self conscious and was able to actually enjoy riding him!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

What is a submissive wife?

Marriage isn't easy. Never was, never will be. People change, opinions change, we experience new things every day, and if the two partners in the marriage do not pay attention, the connection between man and wife can grow weak, tear, or be lost.
My husband recently gave me an assignment for my blog; he wants me to write what I think a submissive wife is. He asked me this after a weekend filled with reconnecting after a pretty bad blow-up, caused by his inconsistency (will have to wait for another blog post).

When he first asked me, I couldn't answer, nothing specific came to mind. Pleasing my husband, letting him lead the family, being there for him if he needs me. Yes those are all true, but doesn't really tell anyone anything about what a submissive wife is.
DH and I just started watching Mad Men on Netflix, what a fascinating show! It plays in the 1960s and after watching a few episodes I have already changed my view on submission, the 1950s and 1960s, feminism, and men. I used to think wives back then were more submissive in nature, but watching that show has helped me understand that while they may have been more submissive, they also didn't have a choice. The way they were treated by their own husbands is not what I would call a DD marriage. It made me aware of the fact that one thing about a submissive wife is that she chooses to be submissive. She gives her submission to her husband as a gift. To be treated as such, and not as a doormat. My submission to DH is given willingly and with my whole heart.
Long before we discovered the Taken in Hand website, we established that we wanted me to stay home, take care of home and children. We decided I would provide our family with dinner every night, make sure every member of the family has something to wear, and the house runs smoothly. We decided all this before every knowing about the DD lifestyle.
DH has always been the one guiding our family, making choices for us, taking care of things for the entire family. He is a good leader, I trust him to have our best interest in his heart. He is human, he makes mistakes, but he also learns from them.

I treat my husband with respect, always. I am always honest with him, although I always make sure to say things with a loving intent, otherwise honesty can be too brutal in my opinion. I am a submissive wife to my husband by serving him when he is asking for something as well as by knowing what that something is before he even asks for it. I defer to my husband with many decisions because I value his opinion and know he won't let us do the wrong thing.  And, I don't question his decisions.
I also asked him to help me with something: Ever since I was a teenager, I wanted to be a runner, but never had the discipline to follow through. I asked him to help 'motivate' me. He does this with the threat of a spanking, although to be quite honest, that threat is most often not the threat he thinks it is....The point is, I asked this very personal thing of him, and to follow up and to care whether I do it or not. And I try my hardest not to disappoint him and make him proud.
And of course, I enjoy him spanking me. It helps reinforce out dynamic, most of the time it is fun, and leads to mind-blowing sex. This may not be the lifestyle for everyone, but it is for DH and I.

I am sure I forgot a bunch of things, I might edit as it comes to me, but meanwhile how is it different or the same for you?

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Three Word Meme

Well this has been floating around blogland and I figured why not!

1. Where is your cell phone?  Bedside table Charger
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend?  Married, Happy Dance!
3. Hair?  braided, side, pretty
4. Your mother?  Sadly, not here.
5. Your father?  Never around, dead.
6. Your favorite item(s)?  Chocolate, computer, kindle
7. Your dream last night?  MonsterHigh themed Party
8. Your favorite drink?  Wallaby Darned, Yum.
9. Your dream guy/girl?  In the Shower.
10. The room you are in?  Bedroom/Computerroom/ Hangoutroom
11. Your fear?  Giant Ass Spiders
12. What do you want to be in 10 years?  With my Family
13. Who did you hang out with last night? DH, our children
14. What are you not? careless, dishonest, mean
15. What's outside your window?  Trees, birds, squirrels
16. One of your wish list items? Coffee Maker Amazon
17. What time is it? Noon, Tuesday, 
18. The last thing you did? Stuff Stepson helping
19. What are you wearing?  New boots, sweats
20. Your favorite book?  too many, really!
21. The last thing you ate? Apples with Caramel
22. Your life?  Happy, healthy, perfect.
23. Your mood?  positive, alert, get-things-done
24. Your car?  A mini Van.
25. What are you doing at this moment?  Writing blog, school
26. Your summer? Camping, Fun, family
27. Travel plans?  Camping, Idaho, Germany
28. What is on your TV screen?  It is off.
29. Last time you cried?  Out of frustration
30. School?  Every single Day.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Just who is DH?

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
    Scifi Channel, Daily Show, or Conan
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his        salad?
     Blue Cheese
4. You go out to eat and have a drink, what does he order?
     Diet coke, he hasn't had anything alcoholic in over seven years.
5. Where did he go to high school?
     I know it, but privacy reasons and all...
6. What size shoe does he wear?
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
    Star Trek Stuff, and cables
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
     Cheese Bagel, cooked ham, and Gouda, maybe even a hard   boiled egg on top. His all time favorite is having breakfast in     Germany though.
9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
     M&M's or Reese's. And he does eat Mini wheats every day.
10. What is his favorite cereal?
      Mini Wheats
11. What would he never wear?
     long hair
12. What is his favorite sports team?
      He doesn't watch sports
13.Who did he vote for?
14. Who is his best friend?
     I am
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?
      Nothing, at least that what he keeps saying, I am sure there is something though
16. What is his heritage?
     French, adopted.
17. You bake him a cake for his birthday:
      German Cheesecake, or overloaded brownies. He loves  chocolate.
18. Did he play sports in high school?
     nope, he was a band geek
19. What could he spend hours doing?
     Being in his WoodShed with loud music in his ears
20. What is one unique talent he has?
      Being funny, he can make a joke out of almost anything. He plays the most beautiful music on the piano, and sings, but only when he thinks nobody is watching. He is thoughtful, an amazing husband, and the father I always wanted for my children!

Fell free to copy and paste! Would love to know more about other spouses!

Monday, April 8, 2013

Non-Spanking Spankings for Maintenance

As you guys know, we go through cycles of everything going well to somehow getting totally sidelined. This usually sneaks up on me and DH and we are both left wondering what the fuck just happened. 
Every since our weekend away in February, DH and I have just been on this awesome high: Great sex, agreeing on everything, DD in full force, and just all in all, wonderful. 
I was starting to wonder if it could just keep going that well, I mean, come on, it can't all be red as roses all the time, it is just not possible, and honestly, it makes me feel kind of anxious. Waiting for the second shoe to drop. 

And it did. Lol. I started having very bad back pain, being female and all. For me, these usually last about a week, and then I start my period. Fun!
Anyway, last weekend for maintenace, DH took me over his lap in bed, and just talked to me.
"Even though I really would like to spank my little girl, I know your back hurts, so lets just do this." And he proceeded to talk/lecture while I was over his lap. He stroked my cheeks, my lower back. His hands felt wonderful, and I felt so taken care of. What a great way to maintain this dynamic when spanking is not really an option!
Then over the last week, my back was hurting still, I couldn't go running, we had a birthday party to organize, spring break....there was just a lot going on. And then DH brought home work stress on Friday. I know he couldn't shake it, his mind kept wondering, he couldn't focus, and he wasn't really sleeping at night. 

One night I woke up, and he was staring like that at the ceiling. Call me crazy, but that freaks me out, no matter who it is. I put my hand on his chest, felt his heartbeat, relieved to feel it, and snuggled up close to him. 
We are still in the middle of this. Last night, he spanked me over my pants, kind of a spur of the moment. He started talking about what was exactly going on in his mind, and I was once again reminded how amazing this dynamic is. When applied, even very lightly and at least for us, it is amazing!

Friday, April 5, 2013

Picture Friday - Our Spanking Positions Edition

I thought this might be fun for my readers who are living vicariously through blogs at the moment as well as just about anyone who likes anything spanking related.
DH and I have been doing fairly well lately. We have been experimenting with new "things" and I am just waiting for a good blog post opportunity to tell you guys all about it!

Leave me a comment and tell me which position you like, or you imagine to be bad, or know are bad...

Found at...
We don't do this one, but I just found it, and I think DH might actually like this one. Anyone try this?
(Since having starting working on this post, we actually tried this, and DH wouldn't let me get back up again, simply because he was just enjoying himself, a lot. For me as the receiver, I can say, I like it too!)

This, except for the cane, is how DH spanks me when we don't have as much time, or we are out in the woodshed. I will lean over something and put my hands on it, desk, chair, sofa, and he will spank me. Spankings in this position are less personal for me because I don't get to feel DH as much. It feels less connected somehow. But I do like this one every once in a while.

Found at
This is my personal favorite. Lying over his lap while he is reclining in bed. I am very close to him and feel connected. I believe this is our usual for maintenance spankings.

Found here
Again, no cane in our house, but her position is right. When I really would like a spanking and DH hasn't announced anything of the nature yet, I will get on the bed naked and pose like this. Its like asking for a spanking, and always works.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Book Review #2 The Devil of Whiskey Row by Renee Rose

We had the most beautiful weather this past weekend, and enjoyed our outdoors a lot. I love enjoying these first warming rays of sunshine. While I was sitting there, overlooking the backyard, I realized what a great picture it would make. And then I was somehow inspired to take a picture of something I was reading, and figured I could review a book for my blog and take a picture of it first. Makes perfect sense right? Yeah, I don't know, sometimes my mind works backwards like that.

Anyway, I though of Renee, and how I have never actually read any of her stories. (Ducking, I know, I know) But honestly, I haven't read anything of hers because I enjoy reading full length stories or even longer, and not novellas. Its just a personal preference. Otherwise I just start to get into it, and its already over...
I was able to locate her book on Amazon right away, and had it on my kindle in under 30 seconds. Isn't technology amazing?

Review: I quickly got sucked into the story of Cora, a young woman who had been forced into prostitution in the Wild West. Circumstances land her in a new bordello. The new place's owner, Jake aka Daddy Diggs, runs a much nicer place, running his establishment kindly but with a firm hand if necessary. Of course Cora gets in trouble, and what follows is a very lovely tale indeed.
I enjoyed the whole story, was just sad to see it end too quickly. I would have loved to know so much more about these two characters: More back story, more about how they were feeling, and why, but I realize that this is just my preference for a full length novel.

All in all, I really enjoyed this story. It was very steamy, and the spanking scenes very well described. I felt like I could follow the feelings during. I also enjoyed the little bit of anal play in it. DH and I have been exploring a Daddy theme recently, so you can imagine my surprise when I first realized that Jake was very similar to how DH treats me. Very hot!