Monday, April 8, 2013

Non-Spanking Spankings for Maintenance

As you guys know, we go through cycles of everything going well to somehow getting totally sidelined. This usually sneaks up on me and DH and we are both left wondering what the fuck just happened. 
Every since our weekend away in February, DH and I have just been on this awesome high: Great sex, agreeing on everything, DD in full force, and just all in all, wonderful. 
I was starting to wonder if it could just keep going that well, I mean, come on, it can't all be red as roses all the time, it is just not possible, and honestly, it makes me feel kind of anxious. Waiting for the second shoe to drop. 

And it did. Lol. I started having very bad back pain, being female and all. For me, these usually last about a week, and then I start my period. Fun!
Anyway, last weekend for maintenace, DH took me over his lap in bed, and just talked to me.
"Even though I really would like to spank my little girl, I know your back hurts, so lets just do this." And he proceeded to talk/lecture while I was over his lap. He stroked my cheeks, my lower back. His hands felt wonderful, and I felt so taken care of. What a great way to maintain this dynamic when spanking is not really an option!
Then over the last week, my back was hurting still, I couldn't go running, we had a birthday party to organize, spring break....there was just a lot going on. And then DH brought home work stress on Friday. I know he couldn't shake it, his mind kept wondering, he couldn't focus, and he wasn't really sleeping at night. 

One night I woke up, and he was staring like that at the ceiling. Call me crazy, but that freaks me out, no matter who it is. I put my hand on his chest, felt his heartbeat, relieved to feel it, and snuggled up close to him. 
We are still in the middle of this. Last night, he spanked me over my pants, kind of a spur of the moment. He started talking about what was exactly going on in his mind, and I was once again reminded how amazing this dynamic is. When applied, even very lightly and at least for us, it is amazing!

20 comments:

  1. It's wonderful whaen you can still connect even when your hurting.
    Great post

    Bob

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    1. Thanks Bob. This connection is of course not as nice as when everything just works, but it is definitely better than just disconnecting like we have done in the past.

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  2. Hi Julia,
    I hate having pms, it really does throw you off. But I do find that DD has helped with the mood swings. I'm glad you are able to still find the connection even during this time of the month. I see so many of my friends who are always so disconnected from there husbands and take there mood swings out on them.

    This lifestyle is truly nice to have!
    Kim

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    1. Yeah, PMS is just no fun, especially when it starts more than a week before the actual thing.

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  3. I love how he came up with an alternative that really worked for you both...just being in your 'positions' helped you to feel it:)

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  4. I'm glad for everything going well. Hope your back is feeling better. I would freak out too waking up next to someone staring like that.

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    1. Hey! I haven't seen you here in forever! How are you doing?
      And yes, the staring is really freaky...

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  5. Coming up with alternate plans that work for best for you is what it's all about. Happy for you both.

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    1. I know, right? Thanks sunnygirl!

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  6. When the othe shoe drops, usually it won't drop too far. Glad things are going so well.

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    1. Yeah I know, usually not, but it has dropped pretty far before, and it was hard to get back up again, in some ways, we are still working on that. :)

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  7. Aw, I hope the back pain gets better - that's not fun at all! On the other hand, I think the way he came up with an alternate type way to still show that dominance, was great! Sounds like such a cute way to go about it.

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    1. Thanks Kenzie, the Midol is working..:)
      I liked it too, very reassuring.

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  8. Oh I hope some of the stress settles down soon. In the meantime...there are tools.

    I hate those days of back pain!

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    1. Yeah, the back pain is worse than anything else really. Thanks Susie.

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  9. Hope you are feeling better and that the stress is less. So glad that Dd is helping at least. Take care.

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    1. Yes it is, thanks for stopping by Zoe!

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  10. I'm sorry about the back pain and the stress and hope both are settling down a bit. It's wonderful that Dd is helping and that DH came up with an alternative that worked for both of you to remain connected.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. The back pain really is the worst in all of this. Everything we can handle, but back pain...I have always struggled with it.

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