Hi, DH here! This is post is a long-overdue follow-up to my how to spank your wife post.
I think the hardest part of our dynamic for me has been really understanding that Julia isn't just acting submissive, she is submissive. She really does need my loving guidance and leadership in our marriage. And that is really the key: it's within the context of our marriage. She could handle her life just fine
And yet, she submits to me as her HoH. I have the final say on all family decisions. Although she handles paying the bills, major financial decisions are mine. I set the rules for her, and I expect them to be followed. It's that we agree on this arrangement that makes this thing we do work for us.
I've become fascinated by ttwd, and the effect it's had on my marriage with Julia, and also the effect it has had on me as a person. Looking back, it seems clear to me that my new confidence in my own abilities and strength have allowed me to make the best decisions I could have made in a very tough year. The validation? I just got a raise! (And a week later "let go".)
Spanking your wife affirms your strength and dominance and gives you confidence that helps you in every area of your life.
I know Julia has benefited as well. She started running in the last year, and has kept her commitment through rain, shine, backaches, and family visits. Today, I agreed to implement a new rule: if she misses a day of running, regardless of the reason, I'll give her 7 swats with her least favorite implement, the wooden paddle. On the surface of it, that sounds pretty caveman-ey on my part. But the truth is that Julia wants it that way, so that having the threat of swats hanging over her head will "help get back into running again" after a break.
Spanking your wife helps her build confidence and character, and motivation to complete tasks.
Sometimes, our dynamic requires that I discipline Julia for breaking one of our rules. Our rules represent the contract on which we've developed and based our trust. Violations of that trust cause hurt feelings through unmet expectations. To clear the air, I spank Julia to discipline her. I lecture her during the spanking about how important the rule is, and how I need to be able to trust her to follow the rule. I ask her if she agrees, and we talk if necessary. But by the end of the spanking, the issue is resolved and doesn't bother us anymore.
Is it somewhat hypocritical for the man to spank the wife for an infraction, and get to skate by blamelessly when he screws the pooch? Yep. You don't want to be that guy, trust me. Nothing feels worse than the reproach I've seen in Julia's eyes, when I've let her down. But I'm the man. There's nothing I can do except admit when I'm wrong, apologize when it's necessary, and return to running my household.
Spanking your wife provides her discipline when she breaks the rules and enforces your authority as head of the household.
I'm also fascinated by the evolution of human behavior. Julia and I are currently watching the series Mad Men on Netflix. The first season is set in 1960, and every episode crackles with the tension between men and women. The men are men, and their attitudes are reflected in the jokes they tell: "I got a phone call at the bar saying my wife gave birth, and now I gotta pay for college!" Men pride themselves on being strong, and weaker men are preyed on, even as they fantasize out loud about being more manly themselves.
Fifty years later, it feels like evolution. In many ways, we just don't think the way we did. Roles between men and women have changed as a result of the feminism movement, which has established the basic truth that women deserve equal rights. 'Cause they're, you know, people. Like men. The article that Julia posted sounds funny today, but the guy that said that men would be sorry when they stopped spanking their wives was right: men voluntarily gave up the right to lead their households. My generation wasn't taught how to have a relationship with a woman, because of the rapid social changes that were going on in the 1970's. I think men conceded their authority in relationships, and the result has been broken families.
Don't get me wrong: I don't think a ttwd/spanking relationship is right for everyone. It requires consent, consistency, trust, and mutual agreement between both parties. But I believe that the taken in hand movement is almost an unconscious human expression of an evolutionary trait that we're not ready to leave behind.
Spanking your wife could be a human trait that shouldn't be left behind, at least for people who need and thrive on it.
What do you think about why you should spank your wife? Or as a wife, why you should be spanked? ;)