Tuesday, October 22, 2013

I can't for the life of me, come up with a good title!

Yesterday our stepson started a new job. Finally. And he works at night and the evening, so we actually will have some time in the evening again where we won't have to worry too much about noise levels after it has been verified that the little ones are actually sleeping.
Its been a little weird, I have to admit. Spankings have basically been off the table for a while now, not because of us really, more the circumstances surrounding us. TTWD however, at least from my perspective, hasn't stopped at all. At the beginning I would have thought that to be impossible: Keep ttwd going without spankings. But as long as both parties are still committed to it and each other, and the other person knows this to be true about the other too, it can work.
We have had situations that would have definitely led to spankings over the last few months, and still, we managed. Once, DH send me to the closet, to think about the tone of what I was yelling saying, and I have discovered that when one wants to be in the right headspace, a simple act such as being send to the corner or our closet, will get me to calm down right away.

But I have been missing the spankings. Although not like I would have a year ago. A year ago, I was craving it, the act of it, his being in charge, making me get over his knees, and then spank me longer than I would want. Assert his dominance. But for now, I haven't been craving it as much. And I think that is because we have found other little things to do to help us remain in the where we want to be with one another. Maybe its because I have been letting him assert his dominance, and he has felt comfortable asserting it?

In other news, I don't remember if you guys remember my trouble with so called "friends", but I hadn't given up on one of them yet. I had needed space, and had told her so, because I wasn't able to figure out what exactly it was that had made me need space like that in the first place.
Going to San Francisco, getting out of the everyday life, and just be with people who understand you, has helped me figure out what it was. What had made me pull away from her, and I felt like I owed her an apology and an explanation. So I did that yesterday. DH warned me "Don't expect much back my love". I didn't believe him, but he was right. She wrote me back. And the reply was so self-centered in absolutely everything she said, without one word to how I really told her everything, that I have decided that even long friendships may just need a break, or longer. For now though, I am just done worrying about her, that relationship. Some things are not meant to continue, and that 'friendship' just slipped into that category.

Tonight, my stepson will be gone again. I am going to try and tire out my children so they will fall asleep faster (that almost never works), but at least there are possibilities. And honestly, just writing about spankings, and how I used to crave them, has made me realize how much I would really like to resume that part of US.

And I want to ask blogland for a favor! I am in the mood for a new Picture Friday, but I need ideas for a theme!

Song I was listening to while writing my post:
Lindsey Stirling - Shadows

7 comments:

  1. WOW Julia you got a lot going on in this post.

    First, glad your stepson got a job and you guys can have some alone time....hopefully without any interruptions. I have the same problem at home....my "neighbors" are just the next room over...in either direction!! UGH!!

    I hope you get the spanking you want. But like always.....watch what you wish for!!! hehehe

    As for the friend....I don't know exactly what happened but from what I read it sounds like you did the right thing. Some relationships are toxic, for whatever reason. And sometimes it's best when you remove the toxins from your life. I'm sure you will start to feel much better as time goes on and you realize that you don't need the toxins and you are much better without it. Sometimes it can be hard but most of the time it's worth it. Sounds to me like she wasn't a great friend to begin with....especially if she is as self centered as you describe her.

    Hugs to you!
    Subrina <3

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    1. Subrina,

      Yeah neighbors are hard too. I mean, when DH and I had our weekend last year away from home in a hotel, we were all excited, but once we got there, we noticed that spanking in a hotel room might not be as appealing as one would think. I don't know, maybe we are prudes, lol.
      I got a spanking, but man, it hurt within seconds like crazy!

      And to my 'friend'. I have this tendency to attract people as friends who like talking about themselves because I am a great listener. This has happened to me before. I try to make sure people know I am a person too and like to talk to every once in a while at least, but I guess, my late 20s have brought with them a more self-centered outlook, and not everybody in my life (at least the ones who are more interested in hearing themselves talk) likes that. I am glad I reached out to her one more time. It didn't feel right to leave it like that, but now I am fine, mostly.

      Thanks Subrina!

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  2. I have to admit, I still struggle when it's impossible to spank but we do try to keep the ttwd momentum going by doing similar things. (I get sent to the bathroom tho coz my closet isn't big enough :) oh, and butt plugs can play a huge part as a 'reminder' when spanking is off the table.
    As for your friend, I don't know Julia, sometimes friendships just run their course?
    And I'm smiling imagining you taking the kids for a 10mile run to get them worn out.... Lol

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    1. Dee,
      Yeah I know you know what I was talking about, lol. Its hard to keep that momentum going but it is possible. But not as fun....:D

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  3. Hi Julia,

    Wonderful news about your stepson getting a job. Hooray for more alone time! and more spanking opportunities :)

    I love this post. Glad you two have founds ways to keep ttwd at the forefront without spanking. There are other ways in which we can maintain our roles and deal with issues that would otherwise end in a spanking and these can be as effective.

    As for your friend, it does sound as though you did the right thing.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Thanks Roz, yeah I am excited he is finally resuming his life a little. :)

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  4. I'm glad he got a job and that you guys will be able to have a little more alone time now. ;)

    I know what you mean about spankings being gone, ttwd still being there, BUT still wanting the spankings in a way. It's a crazy thought process isn't it?

    I think it's great that even without the spankings, you two have found other ways to keep TTWD alive and well. ;) Good for you!

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