Monday, October 7, 2013

Joe Pesci back for yet another visit

Finally. I am alone at home again. I have to admit, it has been a while, but honestly it was all good. I had a great time with my friends. It is so nice to just hang with people who know you so well, even after all these years. We have kept in contact just a bit, sometimes going years without writing, but that never meant they were far from my mind, and as it turned out, it was the same for them. The three of us were very amazed how we could just pick up where we had left off and have so much fun together. Here is to friendship!!!!

But as usual, DH didn't handle it all too well, lol. And I know this by now that when I have visitors from my homeland (as he calls it), he starts to distance himself from me and us, our relationship. And he did it again this time. But knowing he does this and handling it better, really is hard.
Usually when I have visitors, I spend more time with that person (since they flew all the way here to see me and my family, including DH of course), instead of being available to DH at work. And in the evening, call me silly, but I actually like sitting with these people and talking or just watching a movie. To me, this is fun (plus, its just a short time anyway that that person is here). To DH, it means I don't want to spend time with him. Arg. (As a disclaimer, I know he knows that is not true but feels that way nevertheless) And that is exhausting, and I also think, not quite fair.

So I get pissed with him, and his attitude. Cause I can only take that for so long. Because, I am here, I am available, just not as much as usual. I think, honestly, DH is just spoiled because I don't have any family close by, and I never just spend an afternoon with my family. If I see them, it is because we are there, or somebody is here, and that is usually for at least a week. And in that week, DH pulls away. He wonders how can he keep our connection going through this, and I am left wondering, wtf? Really? How about not disconnecting? How about letting me enjoy the presence of these people without having to worry about having to make sure he feels like he got enough attention? How about being happy for me? How about not working so hard that he falls over after nine pm every night and just passes out? How about eating something before you turn into Joe Pesci right before coming home after working way longer that you do at any other time?
 Ahh, this commercial does it every time. I am smiling again. And this is just a rant. We have already talked about this, and he sounds like he caught himself before things got worse.
Now I would just like to have sex and cum without having to listen to him complain about that too. lol. No really....
Happy Monday everyone!

18 comments:

  1. Men can be such babies at times. Glad you had a good time with your friends.

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  2. LOL, your rant was quite funny. Sorry that this happens but perhaps it is getting a bit easier each time?

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    1. Lol. No. It really isn't. Which is why I am ranting. I mean, you would think, after eleven years together and every year having visitors, but no. :)

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  3. Sounds like he goes into a Dom drop? My Dom was out of town. My head knew He was unavailable, but it didn't stop the emotions of uncertainty, etc. Hopefully, you two can reconnect and get on track, quickly.

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    1. Yes! That is exactly it, Dom drop!

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  4. It just goes to show you that their just as needy as us. I know it sucks that he disconnects but at least it shows you just how much he does need you. Since he did catch himself this time maybe next time he will catch himself sooner and each time after he may catch himself even sooner until it no longer happens! Well, it's a thought!

    I hope you reconnect soon
    Kim

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    1. Yes, it does show me that, and hopefully he can, thanks Kim. :D

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  5. Well, I'm glad that you had a great time with your girlfriends, but sorry that it caused strife between you and DH. There's got to be a happy medium to be found somewhere in there, no? Maybe 30 minutes after he comes home from work where the two of you close yourselves into your room for some alone time to decompress and connect...even if it's just sitting together and talking and cuddling...and then you can both feel good about rejoining your friends and sharing the rest of the evening? IDK...just throwing out an idea:)

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    1. Thanks Tess. We try to do exactly that, but then something small happens, like I don't return texts right away or something, and he feels that there is no saving our connection, and goes off. I always think that approach should work perfectly, but it doesn't for some reason. Thanks though. :)

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  6. Glad you had fun with your friends....isnt it great that you can be apart for so long and be right back where you were?

    As for DH....I think it just goes to show that just because their the HOH doesnt mean they dont have needs to I think sometimes we forget they are in this too, they have needs to. But there has to be some compromise so everyone gets what they want and need.

    Subrina

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    1. I find the connection one can have with people truly amazing. And to see how they have changed, become grown up too. One actually seems very frugal now compared to back then otherwise still the same, which is interesting. The other was exactly the same just older and a lot wiser. :)

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  7. You two will get it back, I'm sure of that. I can understand him feeling a bit neglected but I can also relate to wanting to make the most of the relatively short amount of time you had with friends who came a looooong way to see you.

    Note to DH----it could be sooooooo much worse. I have a relative who grew up outside of the USA and in order to keep her citizenship there she is required to travel back every few years. I'm not sure if it is requirement that she stay for four to five months every time she does that or that's just her criteria for making the airfare worth the cost. Either way, can you imagine Julia going to her "homeland" for four or five months at a time and the only two options being having her AND the girls gone for that long or you being a pretend single parent here with them instead all that time? Yeah. These past few weeks seem pretty good now don't they? I thought so.

    My relative comes from a country who doesn't allow dual citizenship and as I understand it, neither does Germany. I can't imagine ever being in a position of having to make that kind of choice. I don't understand any country that forbids dual citizenship. I just don't get it.

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    1. See and that is the thing, I am not worried either, he seems to be though. Which to me shows me how much he needs me, yes, but at the same time, I need him more secure in our love and not let a week of visitors (okay, maybe it was two, but still a positive time together) interrupt our connection. And I mean this in the most loving way possible.

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  8. I can relate to this, and it can be difficult.

    I have a large extended family and mostly we are all close, get together a lot, holidays etc, whereas my Master has no living relatives alive, only child as were his parents..so its difficult for him because he just doesnt get it.

    But then as my gran used to say "once a man, twice a child" took me a while to figure that one out...when i did...oh how true it is lol

    x

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    1. Lol, thank you tori, you just put a big smile on my face. :)

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  9. Hi Julia,

    Glad you had a wonderful time with your friends. I'm sorry about the disconnect but it's great that he managed to catch himself. It is a dilemma isn't it, wanting to make the most of the time you have with your friends and also spending time with DH.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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  10. Oh it doesn't take much to end up in these kinds of funks Julia...I know it. Glad you guys caught each other and I hope he focuses and realizes that you are right there, just a bit busy.

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