Thursday, August 21, 2014

A bad Morning

This has not been a good morning.

I basically just threw DH out the door on his way to work.

Some mornings, we wake up early, have sex, just lie in bed and talk and enjoy that time of no work yet, no responsibilities and just being together. This is always a great start to the day for both of us, and ensures our connection is live, strong, and it makes me strong for the day and puts me in a great headspace.
Today however, was not a day like that.

Woke up at 7, which is an hour late, and only happens when DH is too tired to get up early. My back/hip hurts just lying in bed, turning over, anything really, and in the mornings its even worse because of stiffness.
DH woke up pissy, and the first things I heard out of his mouth were how he wasted his evening with me last night, didn't get anything done, and he got up and grumbled away into his shed.
I don't know about you, but I don't really like when my own husband says that. Seriously? So I got pissy back.
Now, for any of us women, I am sure you can understand that I was prodding my bear with a big stick. Poking here. Poking there. I got even pissier.
I told him how me cleaning the house is a waste of time because the kids just undo it anyway before he can see it, and yet I do it anyway, to please myself, but also him.

I really can't stand when he gets in these moods, but at the same time, I know its not about me its just life in general. Which basically comes back to me anyway because we are sharing our lives together. And he wasted his time doing that? Really?

So no sex. Just a really shitty connection stringing us together at the moment despite actually having a spanking session this past weekend.

I can't even say that there is something I could do better, to be more submissive, because when he is like that, I take back my 'gift' of submission. I feel like he doesn't deserve or treasure it, or even want it, and he wonders what happened to set me off like that.

I always think of it as you get out what you put in. And this morning we put shit in and got shit out.

And I shoved him out the door (mostly by accident) with the door. I didn't see him not opening the screen door.

Sorry for the downer, but thank you for letting me vent.



6 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear that, Julia! It is hard to make the rest of the day feel good when the morning starts off on the wrong foot. But, like your pic said, it's just a day. Tomorrow will surely look better.

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  2. We all have those days. It'll get better tomorrow

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  3. Julia, just out of pure timing, I read your DH's post first. You are both very clear on how crappy this morning was.

    From the submissive side, when you give up the lead and you feel that you are being lead to nowhere in particular it can be so difficult to keep on giving. Especially, like you said, when you feel like he doesn't treasure or even want your submission. Real life can just pop in and suck the submissive happiness out of you, just as I imagine it pops in and sucks the Dom happiness out of our husbands.

    We have these crap-tastic days and we try like hell to make the next day better and to learn how do do better. I think you wrote to me recently on how working through days like these should lead to better communication in the future =) I hope it does exactly like that for you and your D/H. Good luck tonight!!

    XOXO Pearl

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    1. Ahh Pearl, quoting me back to myself, lol, sure put a smile on my face.
      It's been so long since we (or maybe just I) exploded like this. Hours later, I feel bad for having more than snapped, but at the same time, nothing has changed, nothing has been addressed. I guess only time will tell. For now, DH hasn't even come home yet.

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