Wednesday, October 22, 2014

How 50 Shades of Grey changed my Life

This is one of those posts that has been swirling in my head for a few days now, but I haven't had, or taken, the time to get it down and out. One of the reasons for that could be that I am a little rusty, writing-wise.

Lets just say I am still recovering from this past summer. Injury, revolving doors for visitors, step-son, nephew, and of course our own lives as well.

But back to what has been on my mind.

Do some of you remember that I started in this whole journey of discovering that I am submissive because of 50 Shades of Grey? Well, if you don't that certainly is okay, better yet, that means I have done a good job of making this about what it really is about instead of having been on this bandwagon.

I don't like jumping on bandwagons, I rather start a bandwagon. Always have...:D

Anyway, I remember reading the first book staying up two nights in a row. DH was very busy at that time with work, commuting, and making ends meet for us as a family. This was as the economy wasn't even recovering yet. We were lucky he had a job, but it was definitely a big pay cut.

DH was also suffering from depression.

Some days were okay, others not so much, and he would call me from the car on his drive home, complaining, and yelling about traffic, his life, the economy, politics, and of course stupid drivers on 405.

Reading the book, I realized how much I was craving having a dominant man in my life. Sitting at the computer, one of the first searched brought me to the Taken in Hand site, and the rest is all here in this blog.

My sister recently read the book too finally. No biggie, I knew she would enjoy it, we talked about it a little while she was reading it. But after she finished the entire series something quite unexpected happened. She broke up with her partner!
And I know exactly why! She craves the submission as much as I do! And her man, ex now, as much as I really liked him, just couldn't even fathom what she was talking about. He was not open to that conversation at all! Just wouldn't hear of it, and in fact, the only thing he took from it was that she wants him to beat her if she doesn't vacuum the house.

Gulp.


So, I have been trying to come to terms with this. DH and him were good friends when they saw each other and even though they are physically so far away, it really hit close to home for us. Without even realizing why, it brought DH and I closer and more into DD again, almost immediately and I think I finally understand why that is.

I brought this up to DH as well after reading 50 Shades of Grey and look at us now! Who knew you could have sex the way we do? The intimacy and closeness, the honesty and always having the best of intentions for one another is unbelievable! I guess what I realized is that in our lives, ttwd/DD/whatever has clarified how we feel about each other, and maybe that happened for them too, just not in the same way.


*two posts in one day because DH likes to push the publish button too soon.  :D

17 comments:

  1. Ha ha! Sorry for the premature button push Sweety! That's never happened to me before, I swear!

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    1. It is very nice to hear someone else say that this all started because of the 50 books because I am so tired of hearing all of the negative comments about how poorly written it was. I enjoyed it so much I read everything I could get my hands on that had even the remote possibility BDSM. It has also lead to me getting to know my bloggers, and start of my own blog, I actually appreciate the different aspects that my reading and research has lead me to in realizing my own needs. I am still learning from it all the time! I follow you regularly and appreciate your honesty!

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  2. I feel this way too and it's the very reason we got into DD as well although I already had some basic rules for years without really knowing it. Like. No night driving alone. Stuff like that. Mainly about being safe. I've ways been fine with the parameters we've had and never felt forced or smothered by them. So that's good. I have to say that the sex is amazing and I cannot wait to move because it's been a year without the crazy kind and I so miss it!

    I'm so happy for you two and count myself lucky that I know you. Like, for reals. That would never have happened without ol' 50, too. Hugs. M.

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    1. I bet you are excited to be in your very own home again for any number of reasons, but yeah, no kinky sex can be such a drag...
      We always had rules too, just never called them rules before, more like common courtesy or something.

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  3. Hey Julia, that it interesting, and sad about your sister. We were a ttwd couple before I read the books, but it did add a little more fuel to the fire :) Love the last paragraph. So happy for you two:)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. You know, the last paragraph was DH. Lol. he wrote it. Said it sounded better than what I had written. :D

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  4. I had said in the comments sections of someone else's blog a couple of months ago when the trailer was just out for 50 Shades, and everyone (vanilla) was buzzing about. Some were snobs and wanted to rush in and be the first to tell the world that it was fake, and how it really was in a D/s relationship. To those people I say ... simmer down. It is what it is and what it is is different for each one of uc.

    What I also belive (said) is that I think the whole 50 Shades phenominum will help to bring all D/s relationships out of the shadows and into the light. There are going to be a lot of giggleing woman (and men) after the movie actually does premier. Just my opinion, I could be wrong

    Sad about your sister. I think there will be more of that as well.

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    1. I was already thinking along the same lines: There are going to be so many giggly people going in and out of that movie, its kind of a turn off. We watched the preview the other day on the big screen (amazing), but DH told me he would rather see it in our own place, and I have to admit, I kind of agree.

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  5. Hi Julia, we have been doing ttwd before the books came out and I am one of those who enjoyed reading them a lot. 50 Shades has been criticized so much, but I think it has made many curious and that it has helped you to see your needs so clearly is just awesome.

    I am sorry that your sister broke up with her partner, but if such a fundamental need as she seems to have is not met, staying in the relationship and knowing that you lack something so much, couldn't have worked for long.

    hugs

    Nina

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    1. I am glad you enjoyed reading the books. I remember reading book 2, and already saw how there was going to be a kidnapping plot, and so I just kind of skipped it. Plus I know the area where they bought that house. So beautiful and out of reach for normal people, lol.
      My sister is actually in a pretty good spot, she is more excited about this breakup than she thought she would be, and that alone says enough about it, I think.

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  6. reading books similar to 50 Shades made me realize that I wanted a dominant man. Thankfully, the man I was/am married to was the right person.
    I hope that your sister finds the man she wants.

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    1. You know, I had read many other books in similar genres before, but it really was that one that did it. That made me go online and stumble on ttwd. So glad too.

      Thanks Blondie.

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  7. Your comment above is spot on for me as well - I had read other books in the same sort of genre, and I had an interest in all of this stuff for .. forever, lol.. but something about Fifty Shades made me realize I was missing something that I was craving. I know it got a lot of criticism, but there's just something about it.

    I'm glad your sister is more excited about the break up than she thought!

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    1. Its kind of funny that a book, a story, can leave such a mark!

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  8. We all have that entry point. Mine was actually a romance review site that was outraged about DD. I didn't know what DD was, so I clicked over and...spent the next two days solid reading everything I could about it! I knew I was into spanking, but never knew there was a whole community like me! So glad that fifty shades opened it up to the world. :)

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    1. Funny how it just had the opposite effect on you. :D

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