Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Why does she want a spanking?

Hi, DH here!  This is another post for those guys who are looking for answers to questions they have about a sudden change in their wives' behavior.  Maybe she has been sending you articles about "ttwd" at work, and asking you read them.  Or perhaps she's been not-too-subtly suggesting that what you've been familiar with as boring kitchen implements might be used for something different altogether.  Like a spanking.  Why is she doing this?  What is the sudden fascination with your hand connecting with her bottom?

When Julia and I first started out, she essentially told me she wanted a spanking.  And she kept telling me, until we finally (very slowly and carefully) started.  I've celebrated the changes in our lives that have resulted from this choice, for both of us, and I firmly believe it has changed us for the better.  But as we started, I kept struggling with this persistent, nagging question:

Why does she want a spanking?

From my perspective, it was weird.  I've never wanted a spanking, or felt the benefits of receiving one.  I'm not a submissive.  I think I would really hate being spanked, and have a very difficult time submitting to even just the idea, because I am not... submissive.  I don't want to be.  Don't get me wrong - I know and understand the submissive trait in myself.  I can submit and I do it all the time - at work, for example.  When my boss says jump, I immediately code up a robot that asks HOW HIGH?  But in my relationship with Julia, and the other people for whom I am a source of authority, I am on top.  I enforce my relationship with Julia by giving her rules (always take your mobile when you're driving) and setting limits, and even giving her only the occasional spanking, because she's a good girl.  It's almost impossible to give her a spanking for something she did wrong, or even something she didn't do when she was supposed to.  Oh well.  :)

Julia is submissive.  She wants to know her man is a MAN, and can take care of business if necessary.  Long before we met, she had established her own rules for selecting a valid mate.  He had to be bigger and stronger than her, have wide shoulders, and be a "manly" man who could take care of himself and his wife in any situation.  We had a hard time during the Recession on this front, especially.  I got depressed, and lost a LOT of weight, until I was a sad, scrawny shadow of myself.  Julia took over wearing the pants in our relationship, as I had given up.  When she discovered ttwd, she was suddenly fascinated by the idea that I could be a "real" man: In charge of myself, and her, and able to provide for and protect my family.  But to get there, I needed to give her a spanking.

Are women tired of compliant, pleasing men who apologize for having those gosh darn testicles?  If you watch Netflix, the answer would seem to be a resounding yes.  Julia and I are watching a New Zealand show she found, The Almighty Johnsons.  And yeah, Johnson is in the name of the show, although I'm not sure if that was intentional, or a happy subliminal coincidence.   This "family" of guys are Norse gods who spend all of their time being men.  Really manly men.  The main character is inhabited by Odin, and it is absolutely brilliant how the dynamic of boy-becoming-man-becoming-god is acted out.  A spanking would not be out of character for the show.  In fact, I'm kind of waiting for one to happen ;) .

In our case, I think Julia wanted me to start spanking her to fulfill a need she has for being dominated.  She wants to submit to me, and have me take control and handle her like a man.  It's better for her when I lead, too, instead of her putting herself in position and waiting for me to figure out that I should perhaps apply my hand to her posterior.  Don't get me wrong, ladies, it really helps in the beginning.  But when Julia has multiple orgasms during the sex that almost always follows a good spanking for us, I'm usually the one who started it.

Spanking is not for everyone, but after living this lifestyle for years, it's almost safe to turn the question around - why doesn't she want a spanking?  In our case, her back pain has played a big role in that answer, but it didn't diminish Julia's wish for a sound spanking whenever she could get it.  She wants a spanking to scratch that insatiable itch she feels to be brought to submission by her man.  She wants to release control and just be, surrounded by her man's strength and love.  She wants to come over and over afterward, with me still dominating her in every way.

11 comments:

  1. Amen to all that you said. I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head. Good job

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    1. Thanks, Blondie! Yeah, it's amazing how ttwd has defined us, heh. :)

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  2. I am with Blondie, that was amazing and makes me think you really do understand me regarding this need to submit more than even I do at times....

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    1. Thank you Sweety! Maybe sometimes.... :)

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  3. Wow DH, wonderful bullseye post!Of course, love the Almighty Johnsons reference lol :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thanks, Roz! Yeah, Julia and I are LOVING that show!! :)

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    2. Ha ha, should have said "ta" instead of "thanks"! ;)

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  4. Love this post....off to show my hubby! :)

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    1. Hi Maggie - thank you! Good luck! :)

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  5. I feel like I'm always the last in line when it comes to spanking or ttwd or what ever it is. I spent my whole life not understand my interest in spanking and way to embarrassed to find out. I happen upon blushing book completely by accident and started reading everything I could. I've heard of others who go though similar experiences in all different kinds of thing but WOW what a feeling when you realize you are not the "only one". I am now enjoying reading DH'S perspective on this subject.
    As always thanks for sharing.
    E

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