Tuesday, November 1, 2016
That strikes me as really funny while also very spot on.
Its been a long time!
I feel kind of sorry, and guilty, but at the same time, just haven't been in the mood to share, or even been in the mood for anything sexy. I know, poor DH, right?
I miss being pregnant, but I can feel my libido coming back online again. Slowly. Very slowly, which is good, since we still share a bed with an infant at the moment anyway.
Speaking off, she is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. I look at her constantly thinking that. I don't even remember thinking that with our other two. But I must have, especially because this one looks almost exactly like our first. Funny how that goes.
I am still here.
Thank you for all the well wishes over the last months. This whole year basically. I truly appreciate it and loved reading everyone's comments on DH's posts.
I love you DH. You have been such a rock of strength.
Now get back to finishing your story!!
Monday, October 31, 2016
Hi, DH here! Happy Halloween! Our little monsters are excited to go trick-or-treating tonight, although it's raining buckets at the moment. Hopefully the rain will let up by this evening.
Julia and our new baby have been doing really well. We are almost at week three, and the adjustments we've made as a family to accommodate our bundle of joy seem almost normal now. This will be her first Halloween, but she will stay inside this year, heh. My job is to take the older girls out in the neighborhood, which can be scarier than it sounds. I'm always amazed by the amount of traffic we get, and not everyone is looking out.
Today I'm at jury duty. Fun! I'll get paid 11 dollars for the privilege of missing work to participate in the legal system that our country is built on. Regardless of political views, I believe that government would run much more efficiently if elected officials were like jury members. No 6-figure income, or taking money from lobbyists, or special treatment because you are a Senator. Imagine how fast legislation would get resolved when people would want to be done quickly, instead of enjoying the position, so they could get back to their jobs? The point of jury duty is SERVICE: I'm here to serve the needs of my community, through my own personal sacrifice. I expect no less from my "representatives."
I hope everyone has a safe and happy Halloween!
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Thursday, August 4, 2016
Julia is doing great. Her due date is getting very close, and we are preparing the house (and the girls) for our new arrival. Some things seem so familiar: The changing table, decorating the nursery, getting a stroller, and thinking about buying diapers (disposable all the way, sorry, I don't think they even make safety pins anymore). She's tired more often now, so I frequently get up before she's awake, and sleep long after she's gone to bed. It's time to start planning our trip to the hospital, and preparing for contingencies in case I'm at work, or the baby comes faster than we're expecting.
In many ways, I feel much more connected to Julia and our unborn baby than I did the last two times around. The other night, she said I fell asleep with my hand on her tummy, feeling the baby move. She woke me up last night and grabbed my hand - that kid was doing gymnastics! Julia said she's never been woken up by constant movement before, that was a first. Every time she's invited me, I've wanted to feel our child moving under her skin, and I've been telling her every single day how beautiful she is (really!), and how proud I am to be the Papa of our child.
And yet... I feel like it's not enough. Like I'm not doing enough, or haven't done enough, or that what I have done has gone unnoticed, unwanted, or all for nought. It's probably the stress of having another baby (this makes 5 for me), or maybe the combination of not having a vacation in a LONG while, plus the frantic work I've been doing to marshall our finances, such as refinancing our house (tip: including the CEO's email address when you feel like your "representative" dumped you can really speed things along :-D ). I have this unending feeling of dire dread in the pitt of my gut, and I can't sleep or eat because of it, and I am just a skosh edgy as well.
Work is the same. I got into a verbal argument with someone today, who demanded to know why I wasn't doing things his way. I don't report to him in any way, but I did try to answer his questions, he just wasn't liking my answers (or me). It's the first time in my professional career when someone has just walked out on me. Now, just to add to all the fun, I am seriously looking for a new job. Hope I can get insurance before the baby comes! Right? Wish me luck on my phone interview at 9:30 am Monday morning.
UGH. My friend at work says, "Be less angry." Julia says, "Be less angry." But no one is interested in what I have to say, or how I'm feeling. Just... keep bringing home the cash, keep doing every stupid thing they say at work, and keep my feelings to myself.
I keep thinking karma will catch up with me at some point. You know how bad people do bad stuff, and you see it, and you think, "Ooooo, karma's gonna get you someday...." Yeah, I pretty much only do GOOD stuff, so I keep thinking the other way - I'm going to get rewarded! Lol. I gave up my window seat for my colleague (we work on the 31st floor of a building with a really nice view, so it means something), and the deal was that we would get our cubes re-configured. Nope. Nothing. It's been 2 weeks now. Money didn't fall out of the sky either, and now the same guy is telling me to be less angry. Hmm. Next time he can move to the garage with his red Swingline stapler.
I haven't written in 2 months, and I basically feel like giving up on my writing career that isn't going anywhere anyway. Every year I get older, I realize that any dreams I may have had are now encapsulated in a 401K with a 10K balance. I'm certain I'll be forced to retire before our youngest is 18, so I'm thinking of a new career that doesn't have an age limit, like maybe Old Man of the Sea, or stand-in stunt double for Keanu Reeves. Those are my only choices. :-D
I know, I know, y'all are like, welcome to my life! I get it. But maybe you have someone to talk to about it, and I just need a big, internetty friend right now.
Even if it's just myself.
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Hi, DH here! It's been forever since we've posted here, but only because we've been totally focused on Julia's pregnancy (which is going well) and our typical Summer routine, which includes Oma visiting from Germany at the moment. ;)
Julia is officially in her third trimester, and the baby's due date has been penciled in as October 4th. We're excited! Julia found a like-new jogging stroller, and she's been slowly gathering all of the necessay items and furniture for Baby. We are also moving our girls' rooms around a little so the new addition has a nursery. Fun times. :)
So, life is good for us. We don't have much of a sex life at the moment, which can make for some dry blog posts (if you get what I'm saying) BUT I will fullfill a promise I made a long time ago, and finish publishing the final chapters of Red Bottoms Espresso: Hannah’s Training right here on the blog this week.
I hope everyone is having a good summer in spite of recent world events, and that there's some sizzle out there beyond the fences of my pasture. 😂
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
I know it seems like I haven't been online in forever, and you are right! For some reason I still enjoy not getting my laptop out every morning and starting to work like I did. I have worked part time for a local business over the last few months, but as it it spring time now, the job has dwindled down a bit, and I am left with less to do. But there is sun! So now I get to focus on house projects again, and napping of course.
My belly is growing, today I am wearing a shirt that states "I make beautiful babies". :) My children keep hugging me and then the belly. Its so cute and amazing to see this journey from their point of view.
We haven't had another appointment yet again since DH wrote last time (you know, the goat post), and won't be going back again until after our 20 week anatomy scan in a couple of weeks. For which I am very anxious and excited! In the mean time, we bought a doppler and I get to listen to baby's heartbeat whenever I need to be assured that there really is someone growing inside me.
DH and I are doing really well despite a long gap in sexual encounters. To top of the pregnancy thing, I had to take antibiotics and had a horrible yeast infection. I never get those so it was just awful and I am still mending. But finally, I am feeling a bit horny again and can't wait to jump DH's bones.
There have been no spankings, and only few references to any, but at the same time it seems to be on both our minds. I feel like I haven't been too much of a hormonal mess yet, although there have been some moments of hearing myself and thinking why in the world am I saying these things?
I hope this blogpost finds you well and hopefully you have some sunshine peaking out like we have been these last few days!
Thursday, March 31, 2016
Yesterday, we saw her Dr. and we heard the heartbeat! 140 beats per minute, pumping away. She's been worrying that there's no baby in there, so that was quite a relief. Next visit we'll get the "official" ultrasound.
So I will keep working out, and trying to tempt her with my goat-like prowess, although my balance is horrible and I hate the taste of aluminum cans. Having a love-life while pregnant is a beautiful, but different experience, heh. And I'm still working on my next "big" blog post, although I'd better hurry up and get it out there, before it's too late: Should I spank my wife when she's pregnant?
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
and thank you very much for all the well wishes! We both truly appreciate them! We haven't told a lot of people in real life yet, but are starting too. I am now at 11 weeks, nausea, which happened mid-afternoon and then moved toward evening has disappeared and last night I actually slept most of the night. (BIG Accomplishment)
We have finally told our children, who reacted exactly as I thought they would - the older, almost eleven year old almost started crying she was so excited to have a baby to take care of, and the eight year old congratulated us, and has been touching my tummy every time she sees me. So sweet!
We have also told DH's parents finally, who I think responded better than I had expected. So since that is off our minds now, and I am almost at 12 weeks, we are starting to relax a little.
Big sigh of relief, lol.
No spankings though. Not much sex either. :) If DH would ever catch me awake, we might have a chance, but I have been so tired, and then up in the middle of the night not being able to go back to sleep. But the biggest difference to me this pregnancy so far is, that I am not worried about DH and I. I am not worried he feels like I put him aside. We know each other better, he is more confident in my love for him, and I in his. It is really lovely, I have to admit.
And yesterday marked my first day without a nap! wohoo. So hopefully that will mean a more active second trimester. Here's to hoping!
Have I missed anything here in blogland while I was sleeping?
Monday, February 29, 2016
Thursday, February 18, 2016
It has been a little while now since we have had one of those spankings, but we have done it. You know those days where your DH comes home after working way too long, for way too many days in a row, the connection is still there, but kind of hanging by a thread.
When the opportunity arises, I have found myself laying down on his lap without a prompt. And not even because I am just itching for a spanking or sex, or whatever, but because I know this is the sure way for him to center himself again. Spanking me!!
Often these spankings will be short but really intense, no stroking my cheeks first or after, but sharp and constant slaps that don't end until he breaths more easily again.
To me that is a stress relieving spanking, and while I have resented them once or twice in the past, more often than not, I am grateful we found this way for him to let off steam, together.
Friday, February 12, 2016
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
“Ah, ooooh,” she moans, “That feels so good!” Her pussy is tight around my finger as I pull it back out, and then push in further. “Oooh, mmmm,” she says. She pulls against her restraints as she strains to get more of my finger into her. Her glistening face is still turned toward me, her lips just an inch from my drooling head. Her hair is in a tight ponytail behind her head on the pillow.
Monday, February 8, 2016
Thursday, February 4, 2016
The vibrating bullet from Topco Toyz however, is very different. It is so much smaller of course, easily fitting in the palm of my hand. I lay my wedding band next to it so you could get an idea of just how small it really is. I really love touching it, it is so smooth, and the hot pink color is great to avoid losing it in the sheets. Nothing worse than losing a sex toy....
The material of the outer shell is silicone. Unbelievably smooth and it warms very quickly to your
body temperature, unlike other toys we have played with before. It has only one speed of vibration, but it really is all that is needed, and the size of it makes it fun to use not just on your clit, but on your nipples too!
The other morning, DH and I had kind of hurried sex right before he had to leave and go to work. Needless to say, I was all hot and bothered, but he was out of time. Ugh. Don't you just hate that? Then I remembered I had put this little bullet under his pillow (in the hope he would find and use it) and figured, why not finally give it a try, even without DH?
The speed of vibration was a little strong at first, I had to get used to it since you can't adjust it, but I quickly figured out you can adjust the bullet itself, the angle and intensity of pressure. And I did. It felt great and I quickly finished what DH and I had started that morning.
When he came home and was getting changed, I followed him into the bedroom.
"Look under the pillow!" I told him, and he did. Grabbing it right away. He grinned at me, obviously thinking I was hinting at something.
With a big cheesy grin on my face, I told him "Smell it" And he did, looking at me in shock,
"What a naughty wife you are, playing with yourself. I think you need a spanking for that!"
So, I hope I intrigued you with this little review. The bullet comes with batteries and arrived in a very inconspicuous looking package. Here is a link, give it a look, and if you have one already or decide to buy one, let me know how YOU like it!
Monday, February 1, 2016
TO BE CONTINUED...
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
It was also not healthy for us.
DH was in the midst of his depression, had just started taking an anti-depressant, and was still pretty fragile. In some ways, I still think of him as being more fragile that I give him credit for, and I try to not think that way anymore, but sometimes that is still my first thought. And then he goes and surprises me by handling whatever it is himself. Confidently. It is still a big turn-on, lol.
And now, we are approaching 500,000 pageviews. To me that is incredible. Thank you guys. It really means a lot to me, and I know it does for DH. He discovered his love of writing through this blog, and has been dipping his toes in, now even has two published books! (If you haven't yet, check them out, one is even free)
I have made some good friends through this blog! I can't begin to describe how amazing it is to be completely honest with somebody. Thank you for your friendship.
And just recently, we were sent some sex toys to try out and review, so I will be doing those soon!
(Meanwhile, feel free to look on their site)
But for now, I just wanted to thank you, my reader. Thank you for listening, and being here, sharing this journey with us!
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
January is all about going back to work for DH, school starting again for the kids, and me being here. A housewife. Most of the time I am aware that that is what I wanted and still want. Be here for my children, and I love the alone time, but at the same time, it can be so isolating and lonely.
And it would be so nice to have some work to make some money....
When everybody comes home, I am so happy to see everyone and they are all exhausted from being gone all day. While I am not.
What is also not helping is that DH is still driving to the car pool lot with our neighbor because they still haven't bought a new car. Not really our problem in my opinion. Ok, that sounds rude. But seriously, after two months of them not having a second car and DH having given him a ride more often than not, I feel like I get to say that. Especially when it takes away from US time. Giving him that ride means he leaves a whole hour earlier in the morning, and not coming home any earlier. Not even five minutes. The cuddling in the morning often falls away. So does the sex. So does the drinking at least coffee together routine. (Pity party here, just go with it)
Mix that in with stress at work for DH and you got a rift growing between us. Maybe I just feel it because I have so much time on my hands and he doesn't. Maybe I want too much. I probably do. But really, I just want to spend more time with my husband, that should never be too much to ask in my opinion!
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Two days ago, our youngest got sick. Fever. When she had to stay home another day, I just figured we were not meant to go to a party together. Ever. :) And I was okay with it. These are the choices you make when you decide to have children, to take care of them, be there for them. Hearing her say, 'thank you for taking care of me' in her little voice is all the thanks I need. Melted my heart.
But low and behold, she got better and wanted to do the sleepover. Plans were back on, and this time everything just worked out! I didn't even have to put on a dress since DH informed me that it was more casual. Jeans it is! No problem with that and still got to wear sexy underwear and the new cardigan and boots.
We even found the place! (Again, read here...)
It was so fun! Seeing DH is his natural work habitat with the friends he has made over the last year was really great. And then the place started clearing out after just 8 pm and we were some of the last to stay behind. That has never happened to me, lol, I am always the one ready to go first.
We got home, enjoyed the rest of our evening for a while and just about ready to start some kind of
hanky panky when the doorbell rang, and our youngest stood there with the neighbor, ready for her own bed after all.
So, no spanking, but lots of fun and enjoying each other in the most positive of ways. Happy New Year!
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Monday, January 11, 2016
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Hi, DH here! I am supposed to be having a meeting right now (on the bus), but no one showed, so I'm writing a blog post instead. I guess the new year is starting a little slowly for my colleagues ;). I'm so glad to be back home after our European Vacation (we watched Christmas Vacation, and I was really surprised at how funny it was - the jokes have really stood the test of time), but I miss Germany and our family there. I also miss the Audi A4 I rented in Amsterdam and drove to Oma's house. That was a CAR. :-D
One of the first things I did when we got back was submitting a sperm sample for analysis. I've had a vasectomy and a reversal now, so I didn't think anything could surprise me about my junk or how it operates, but I was wrong. I've never had to try to come in a cup before, and it was... awkward. Julia wasn't on hand (heh) to help, so I cued up some porn and tried to get myself in the mood. I remember being able to come on demand when I was younger, but for some reason (older), it just wasn't working.