Wednesday, January 20, 2016

When a rift opens...

It really is too bad that after the holidays and December, there is always January to bring you back to reality. Especially hard this year since we went to Germany and had to come back. I miss having my family around. Endless sitting around, talking, drinking coffee, and just hanging out. Being together.  I don't have that here. I mean, I have one friend who I drink coffee with every other week, but its just not the same. It really just boils down to I miss my family in Germany. The magnitude of my choice so many years ago is finally catching up to me it seems.

January is all about going back to work for DH, school starting again for the kids, and me being here. A housewife. Most of the time I am aware that that is what I wanted and still want. Be here for my children, and I love the alone time, but at the same time, it can be so isolating and lonely.

And it would be so nice to have some work to make some money....

When everybody comes home, I am so happy to see everyone and they are all exhausted from being gone all day. While I am not.

What is also not helping is that DH is still driving to the car pool lot with our neighbor because they still haven't bought a new car. Not really our problem in my opinion. Ok, that sounds rude. But seriously, after two months of them not having a second car and DH having given  him a ride more often than not, I feel like I get to say that. Especially when it takes away from US time. Giving him that ride means he leaves a whole hour earlier in the morning, and not coming home any earlier. Not even five minutes. The cuddling in the morning often falls away. So does the sex. So does the drinking at least coffee together routine. (Pity party here, just go with it)

Mix that in with stress at work for DH and you got a rift growing between us. Maybe I just feel it because I have so much time on my hands and he doesn't. Maybe I want too much. I probably do. But really, I just want to spend more time with my husband, that should never be too much to ask in my opinion!

13 comments:

  1. I'm sorry baby, I feel it too. I miss our time together (right now, especially), and I know you're frustrated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know you have a lot riding on you, but you also overload yourself by not being able to say no. I am sure of it.

      I love you. Drinking coffee and thinking of you.

      Delete
  2. Oh Julia, I really feel for you, wish I was round the corner and we could meet for coffee!. I agree with you, the car sharing thing is a right pain, it's kind of DH to keep on going. I think lots of people get the January blues, soon be February, and who knows soon you may have a little one to keep you busy
    love Jan,xx

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    Replies
    1. I would like that. I love having coffee with people. Seems no better way to chat for a bit and then get started with your day.
      February is rarely better though. :D

      Hugs, Julia

      Delete
  3. I know what you mean by living so far from family Julia. It is really hard not seeing your loved ones on a regular basis. I'm not sure how things work in USA but could you join some groups at your childrens school? Or any craft groups etc in your area. I know this doesn't solve your problem with not having alone time with DH. Hopefully that will settle down soon. I would be telling the neighbour to find their own way, enough is enough. Maybe they're not trying to replace their car, as they think their on a good thing.

    Hope this makes sense I'm up with insomnia at 3.30am sitting here drinking camomile tea to help put me back to sleep.

    enjoy your day.
    Hugs Lindy

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Lindy, I hope you fall asleep soon, nothing worse than not being able to sleep at night.

      And I will try to enjoy this day. Hugs!

      Delete
  4. Ah....I love my alone time since i have retired...but there are some days when it is just lonly..so I get it. I think 2 months is very generous of DH. My depression month is usually February...at least it is the shortest month. Hugs...hope things get better soon
    abby

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    Replies
    1. Thanks abby, so nice to hear I am not the only one going through this at times.
      Just signed up for an online translation job site. Hopefully I will pick up some odd jobs here and there.

      Julia

      Delete
  5. ((hugs)) Julia, it must be so hard being so far away from family and it is hard getting back to routine after the holidays also. I think many of us suffer the January/February blues. I'm sorry that you and DH aren't getting alot of time together at the moment. I think it's wonderful of DH to car pool, but two months is a long time.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Roz, I am feeling much better already, thanks to all of you for sure!
      But the January/February blues always catch me off guard.

      Thanks for the hugs,

      Julia

      Delete
  6. I totally hear and understand the frustration!
    Let me ask a question, though. Do these people want to buy a new car, and can't afford it? Art they sharing financial expenses? Do they understand the imposition but are taking advantage....?
    Ugh.... This one could be tough to extricate yourselves from!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response, sounds like you have gotten yourself into a similar situation before?

      We know they want to buy another car, but as long as they wait, they won't have another payment to make and can save the $$. For now, DH has told him he has a new regular meeting at 7 am and won't be able to do it anymore.

      Delete
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